Figuring out the problem. Is it me?

[TheManny]

I'm 28 male, and this is more for any of the ladies here that would like to give me some advice or point out the problem. But any input from the men is greatly appreciated as well.

 

The problem is, I have never dated before. This isn't something I'm ashamed of because dating has never been a priority for me. However, at my age, it has become increasingly awkward. So I started to look for someone the last few months but haven't been able to find her. I've been on dates with nice ladies and they all turn out fun, but nothing beyond that.

 

I have a lot of female friends; in fact, all of my best friends whom I talk to daily are females, so it isn't that I'm shy or anything like that. But I'm starting to realize/think that most girls will only see me as a good friend but not a romantic partner. Why is that?

 

At first I thought it might be because I'm extremely nice to every person so girls that I am interested in don't feel special around me. But I've also been going on blind dates with the same results.

 

Could it be my clothes (casual)? Am I just being over friendly? Or could it be my physical appearance? Or perhaps a bit of all of the above?

 

To give you an idea of how I look: I'm 5' 3 and scrawny. Tbh I haven't felt my size is a problem until now. Maybe lol.

 

I haven't doubted myself this much since I turned 21. So any honest answers, no matter how brutal, would help. Because it makes me feel uncomfortable not understanding.

 

thanks

[PegNosePete]

Most people take considerably more than a few months to find their perfect partner so it may just be that you're not persisting enough.

 

Appearance there's nothing you can do about anyway so no point worrying about it.

 

Clothes, well if you dressed like a slob you'd probably already know that's the problem.

 

Whether you're giving off the "just friends" vibe, is pretty difficult to tell from the small amount of info you've posted. But if you think that's likely, then chances are that yes it could well be. What do you do on dates? Do you ever get any contact? Hug and cheek kiss when you meet, etc? Flirting? How do they respond?

[d0nnivain]

These IRL female friends will better be able to advise you then we can because they know you.

 

 

If you are getting dates you have dated. You simply haven't found a relationship yet.

 

 

Ask your friends for advice on clothes & your choice of companion.

[Vintage79]

Dude - talk to your drove of female friends - it will be waaay more useful than anything you get on this forum for the reason Donnivain mentioned...they actually know you.

 

Regardless, I wouldn't worry about your physical dimension - sure, it may make things harder, but you can't do much about it, and you're getting dates anyhow, so it's likely not the major factor...dressing nice, sure, bring out your nice stuff. That said, pay close attention to the type of vibe that you are projecting. Being too nice can absolutely be a problem, moreover, while you claim that you are not shy - you may still be romantically shy and consequently effectively communicating to your dates that you want to be friends as opposed to romantically involved.

 

If you have any romantic interest in them, always, always, always make sure to make it know in some way before the end of the first date - and this should be done with actions, not direct words (i.e. do not say anything even marginally similar to, "I'm romantically interested in you"), you could let them know your interest via anything from a kiss (at least try it), physical contact, or something...