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Can this relationship be saved? What is the right thing to do?


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Posted

Hi. I'm new here and really need some advice. I been with my boyfriend for 2 months now and we're both 26. He is living in the US with a visa and it expires this September and I'm a US citizen. We really want to be together and I have heard I'll have to marry him soon but I'm in no way ready for marriage so soon. I'm very lost and confused on what to do and I don't have anyone else who I can talk to. Is the right thing to do is to break up?

Posted

What kind of visa he has? Can it be renewed?

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Posted
What kind of visa he has? Can it be renewed?

 

He has visa "R" B/1 B2. I am not sure if it can be renewed.

Posted

It's a tourist-business visa. That does not allow him to work, it's not a work visa. Why was he in your country?

Posted

This visa is good for 6 months only and can be renewed once. Could he not explain this to you?

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Posted

Don't even consider marrying him. This whole thing could just be him trying to get citizenship. He has no reason to be here other than that. There are lots of people trying to find someone to marry them for that reason. Don't do it!! Just tell him no.

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Posted
This visa is good for 6 months only and can be renewed once. Could he not explain this to you?

 

He explained something about the visa but I don't remember what he said. He is currently employed but what you told me I knew nothing about

Posted
He's from nigeria

 

Red Flag! Red Flag! Red Flag!

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Posted

Has he hinted on getting married to keep him here?

 

Be very careful. In the page I posted it says he can change his B1-B2 visa for a working visa. If he wants to stay he needs to solve his problem without involving you.

 

I am also familiar with men from West Africa. Big talker, BIG sweet talker, they'll talk the panties off a nun. You got to keep both your feet on the ground. You've only been dating him for 2 months. It's nothing. Do not make irrational decision you will regret.

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Posted
Has he hinted on getting married to keep him here?

 

Be very careful. In the page I posted it says he can change his B1-B2 visa for a working visa. If he wants to stay he needs to solve his problem without involving you.

 

I am also familiar with men from West Africa. Big talker, BIG sweet talker, they'll talk the panties off a nun. You got to keep both your feet on the ground. You've only been dating him for 2 months. It's nothing. Do not make irrational decision you will regret.

 

It's so weird to me because I already met his family, friends, and church members and they all like me. My friends and family know about him too. Yes he wants to get married but he isn't pressuring me and he said he doesn't want me thinking that he's using me for the green card.

Posted
It's so weird to me because I already met his family, friends, and church members and they all like me. My friends and family know about him too. Yes he wants to get married but he isn't pressuring me and he said he doesn't want me thinking that he's using me for the green card.

 

If he wants to marry you after 2 months he IS using you for a green card.

 

I know a friend of a friend who married in the same circumstances. Their marriage lasted 3 weeks. Now she has NO idea where he is and in my country if you marry a foreigner you are financially responsible for them for 5 years. In the US I think it's 3 years. You are ready to be financially responsible for him for 3 years? For any medical bills, and any law he may break?

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Posted

Please wait a LEAST a year before you even consider marriage...

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Posted
If he wants to marry you after 2 months he IS using you for a green card.

 

I know a friend of a friend who married in the same circumstances. Their marriage lasted 3 weeks. Now she has NO idea where he is and in my country if you marry a foreigner you are financially responsible for them for 5 years. In the US I think it's 3 years. You are ready to be financially responsible for him for 3 years? For any medical bills, and any law he may break?

 

Oh wow nope not at all.

Posted

DO NOT!

 

REPEAT DO NOT!

 

OMG I know so many women up here who have done to death the marry the Nigerian guy after a very short period of time.

 

Do NOT.

 

It isn't about "racism." It's about seriously, does it sound like a reasonable thing to do anyway? And typically they are the ones that are hinting about it, and you put together the steps yourself. Or they get more aggressive about it.

 

DO NOT DO THIS.

 

So what you met his family?

 

That's very nice. But they probably want him to get out West and be successful. Very very common.

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Posted

Totally wait it out and make sure he is the real deal.

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Posted
Totally wait it out and make sure he is the real deal.

 

I'll take your word for it. So with that being said. If he goes back to nigeria in September how long would it take for him to come back to the US? Another option I heard is the fiance k-1 visa or just keeping in touch with him via skype, phone etc for some months until he gets back or something.

Posted
I'll take your word for it. So with that being said. If he goes back to nigeria in September how long would it take for him to come back to the US? Another option I heard is the fiance k-1 visa or just keeping in touch with him via skype, phone etc for some months until he gets back or something.

 

No, a K-1 fiancé visa is to get married within 3 months I think.

 

How old are you?

 

You really need to educate yourself on the matter. Do you know anything about the Nigerian culture?

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Posted
No, a K-1 fiancé visa is to get married within 3 months I think.

 

How old are you?

 

You really need to educate yourself on the matter. Do you know anything about the Nigerian culture?

 

I know that about the K-1 fiance visa. I'm 26. I know alittle bit about the nigerian culture. I will definitely do my research on everything.

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