love struck Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 I am currently taking a break/breaking up with my girlfriend of 8 months. The relationship started slower for me as I didn't want to rush into anything, but got a lot of attention from her. She would call and text surprise me if she finished early from work, which was fine. We became very close, spent a lot of time together. She then quit her job in a restaurant saying she hated the industry, and was getting out of it. We spent a lot of time together on the 2 month job searching, she would stay most nights and come out with my friends. She is a very likeable girl, everyone that meets her is instantly delighted to be in her company. She makes friends with everyone she meets almost. She then took a job at another restaurant instead of searching for a job that she actually wanted to do, saying this is what I know, I don't have an option. The hours became very long and even though she protested she couldn't stand the hours she would stay late and take silly shift which would mean we wouldn't see each other. She became very difficult to get hold of, I might get a brief message, but phone calls would be largely unaccepted. My requests for more time together were marked with, you can't have all my time, I have friends I need to give my time to. When we were together she would sleep in late not want to get up to do things together, choose a separate party to go to instead of spending time with me. Each time I would bring up that there was an issue I would be told, you want to keep track of me, I've always been hard to get hold of, you want more from me now, I don't want to live with you I'm not ready. I hadn't even asked her to live with me which was the strange thing. It has all affected me greatly thinking i was being needy, or clingy and not being able to work out what I had done wrong that my anxiety levels have been through the roof. Can I help her?
spiderowl Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 I'm sorry to hear how this is affecting you. I don't think she needs any help. She's just choosing to spend her time elsewhere. I think you are wise to break up with her, painful though it must be. You are both young and starting out. She probably feels the need to experience more of life and others before settling down, whereas it sounds like you would have happily settled down with her. It doesn't sound to me like you had a problem with being clingy or anything, just that you two were going different ways. I'm sure you will find someone special who wants the same as you do. I wonder why you feel she might need help?
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