Thaddius Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Me and this girl have been dating for 2months and have recently decided to be exclusive. Does that count as we are now boyfriend/girlfriend? Or just that we are dating exclusively? We never brought that up before and sometimes when she asks me questions she still refers to "So if your girlfriend... blah blah blah". Shes a very shy woman too if that matters. I just dont really know where we are
fitnessfan365 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 That is how I see it. But I still take things slow and let it develop naturally. For example, I just became exclusive with my woman last night. But I still plan on keeping in person dates to 2x a week for the near future, we're not communicating daily, and things like meeting the folks, etc come much later down the road. By the time we are talking on a daily basis, seeing each other 4-5x a week, etc it will be because we want to, and things progressed there naturally. Not because of "relationship etiquette". Unfortunately these days, a lot of people have an instant gratification mindset. They give up their own routines and become co-dependent immediately on their partner smothering them. They start wanting to spend every day together, talk all the time, and learn everything all at once. There is no natural progression. Take long term friendships for example. People have best friends they've known for 10 years, 20 years, etc.. They're still thriving. Why? There was never any pressure to rush. But romance makes people go crazy for some reason. 3
Auspecial Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 I agree with fitnessfan's comment. Also, I think that being exclusive does mean you can call each other bf/gf. 1
Author Thaddius Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 That is how I see it. But I still take things slow and let it develop naturally. For example, I just became exclusive with my woman last night. But I still plan on keeping in person dates to 2x a week for the near future, we're not communicating daily, and things like meeting the folks, etc come much later down the road. By the time we are talking on a daily basis, seeing each other 4-5x a week, etc it will be because we want to, and things progressed there naturally. Not because of "relationship etiquette". Unfortunately these days, a lot of people have an instant gratification mindset. They give up their own routines and become co-dependent immediately on their partner smothering them. They start wanting to spend every day together, talk all the time, and learn everything all at once. There is no natural progression. Take long term friendships for example. People have best friends they've known for 10 years, 20 years, etc.. They're still thriving. Why? There was never any pressure to rush. But romance makes people go crazy for some reason. Thanks for the response. But I might've missed your answer to whether or not you think its consider GF/BF. I think you said yes? But not sure
fitnessfan365 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Thanks for the response. But I might've missed your answer to whether or not you think its consider GF/BF. I think you said yes? But not sure That's how I see it = yes..LOL So if anyone asks, I say that I have a girlfriend.
Author Thaddius Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 That's how I see it = yes..LOL So if anyone asks, I say that I have a girlfriend. Even though she still asks hypothetical questions with "so if your gf... so and so"?
fitnessfan365 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Even though she still asks hypothetical questions with "so if your gf... so and so"? Repeat with proper grammar and punctuation please.
preraph Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Different people may decide to only date if the person will be exclusive for the duration, so in other words, right out of the box, without knowing the person. So that is what muddies the waters. It's fine to do that, probably even preferable, but making that decision doesn't make someone your bf or gf. Now, you've dated 2 months, so to me, it depends on how you both want to think of it. How about give it another month and then start introducing her as your girlfriend.
Versacehottie Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 That's how I see it = yes..LOL So if anyone asks, I say that I have a girlfriend. Yes I agree. It's funny all these labels. To me, for all extents and purposes, two people are either dating casually where they have just begun and are potentially dating others OR dating exclusively where they are not dating others and pretty much is a girlfriend! I think all the different labels in between are bs and even if you are in the "exclusive" stage, don't use the word girlfriend if you have a feeling she will freak out if you do. Bottom line if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it's a duck. In other words, you have a girlfriend.
Phoe Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 In my experience, no. I had a guy tell me that we would be exclusive, but that he did not want a relationship. Just that he would not be seeing anyone else but me. But that he did not want me as his girlfriend. Of course, the exclusivity claim was a lie and he really was seeing 3 other girls behind my back, but... meh. So no, to me, exclusive does NOT mean bf/gf. 1
sagamore Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 You know who'd give you a good answer on this question? Your girlfriend. Or sorry, exclusive sex partner Part of any real relationship is being able to communicate honestly. If you feel you can't do this with her, I'd think hard about why that is. Good luck.
Eggplant Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Do you want her to be your girlfriend? Because if so, ask her: "Will you be my girlfriend?" Problem solved.
kendahke Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 Me and this girl have been dating for 2months and have recently decided to be exclusive. Does that count as we are now boyfriend/girlfriend? Or just that we are dating exclusively? We never brought that up before and sometimes when she asks me questions she still refers to "So if your girlfriend... blah blah blah". Shes a very shy woman too if that matters. I just dont really know where we are Exclusive means you're not having sex with others. Committed means she is your girlfriend, you're her boyfriend. Have you asked her for that and made your intention clear in that area? If you don't know where you are, then ask.
PegNosePete Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I had a guy tell me that we would be exclusive, but that he did not want a relationship. Just that he would not be seeing anyone else but me. But that he did not want me as his girlfriend. And that didn't set off your freaky weirdo warning flags? Anyone told me that I would be like OK, you don't want bf/gf, goodbye. I'm not a fan of these labels but if someone says something obviously dodgy like that, it's a major red flag.
Redhead14 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 (edited) Me and this girl have been dating for 2months and have recently decided to be exclusive. Does that count as we are now boyfriend/girlfriend? Or just that we are dating exclusively? We never brought that up before and sometimes when she asks me questions she still refers to "So if your girlfriend... blah blah blah". Shes a very shy woman too if that matters. I just dont really know where we are It is a matter of choice and must be agreed upon between the parties. Some people date in stages: Casual dating (without intimacy), exclusivity, boyfriend/girlfriend, living together, marriage. If you date in stages, it is about managing emotions and expectations throughout your dating experience. Both parties need to understand that each stage may not lead to the next. If you date in stages, exclusivity is the period when you become intimate with that partner and agree that neither of you will date or be intimate with anyone else. This is the period of focusing on and exploring the compatibility of the couple emotionally, sexually, etc. in order to determine whether they want to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Bottomline though is that you both agree about what it means to each other. At 2 months though, I wouldn't recommend declaring boyfriend and girlfriend. It's kinda soon for that a raises expectations. Edited March 30, 2015 by Redhead14
central Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I think yes, she considers you bf/gf. You say she is shy, so she may be too reticent to put it directly. The alternative (which is not likely, IMO), is that she could think of you as an exclusive FWB.
Phoe Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 And that didn't set off your freaky weirdo warning flags? Anyone told me that I would be like OK, you don't want bf/gf, goodbye. I'm not a fan of these labels but if someone says something obviously dodgy like that, it's a major red flag. He was only the 3rd person I'd ever dated, so no, I had no idea what I was doing. I was (and still am, mostly) a real newb.
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