Avante91 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 We matched on tinder exchanged numbers (she gave hers) and then she suggested meeting up for a drink. I'm 5 month out of a 3 year toxic relationship and I am genuinely ready to meet someone new. Last night she messaged me asking if I would meet for a drink before she went for a meal with her friends. So we spent a good 3 hours drinking and talking it went really well. She was flirty, she suggested meeting up again and she did seem interested. I was invited to the meal and drinks afterwards but declined as I thought I would be intruding and 1 guy and 6 girls? Awkward! She text me saying "really nice to meet you have a nice night in the casino xx" I replied saying great to meet you too how was the meal? No response I text again this morning asking how her night out was no response. So she isn't responding but she is opening my snapchats and updating her social media. I guess she just wasn't that into me but didn't want to hurt my feelings? What did I do wrong I honestly got all the signs that she was interested... Kind regards Avante X
Gaeta Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Happens all the time, welcome to online dating. Don't even try to understand why it's a waste of energy. Just move on to next girl, if this one gets back to you then good, if not nothing lost, it was just a 1st meeting. 1
Author Avante91 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 Happens all the time, welcome to online dating. Don't even try to understand why it's a waste of energy. Just move on to next girl, if this one gets back to you then good, if not nothing lost, it was just a 1st meeting. I must have been on a different frequency but I totally thought she was into me. Is online dating a numbers game then? I feel like just giving up I am obviously looking for something too serious too quickly and I should probably get used to being single for a longer time. I just thought a response would be nice from her, I spent a fortune it would just be respectful to say "it was good to meet you but I'm really busy with work etc" Rather than tell me it was really nice to meet me... You are right only 1 meeting nothing lost I think I just saw some potential. If she texts back I'll arrange a 2nd date if not oh well it's experience I guess
Gaeta Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 I must have been on a different frequency but I totally thought she was into me. Is online dating a numbers game then? I feel like just giving up I am obviously looking for something too serious too quickly and I should probably get used to being single for a longer time. I just thought a response would be nice from her, I spent a fortune it would just be respectful to say "it was good to meet you but I'm really busy with work etc" Rather than tell me it was really nice to meet me... You are right only 1 meeting nothing lost I think I just saw some potential. If she texts back I'll arrange a 2nd date if not oh well it's experience I guess I am a hardcore online dater. Lets go over a few things together: * Yes it's a number game. You can find right away like some people I know of you can be on there for a couple of years and have not found like me. * 5 months out of a long term relationship you need time and you need casual dating, not jumping in another long term relationship. * Yes a response would have been nice. I had 3 dates with a man last week, he disappeared without a word. I text him yesterday to inquire if something had happened and never got a response. Very few people will offer an explanation unfortunately. It's how the game is played most of the time. * Never ever spend real money on a 1st meeting. Keep it to a coffee & cake at the most, an ice cream, a walk in the park. If you go all out in a 1st meeting you will ruin and burn yourself pretty quickly. * Don't take anything to seriously the first 3 dates. Most people will give you up to 3 dates to see if they like you. Within those first 3 dates nothing is gained or guaranteed. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 (edited) Assuming you didn't kiss close, a girl that wants to see you again will try to hint. Whether it's "Let's do this again sometime" or sending a post date text thanking you for the evening, etc.. BUT...."It was nice to meet you" at the end of a date is almost always a blow off which is what you got. So if any other women ever say that to you after a date, you know it didn't go well. Edited March 29, 2015 by fitnessfan365
Gaeta Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 "It was nice to meet you" at the end of a date is almost always a blow off. Not at all, not from a woman. I say that with a smile and wait for him to reply with: would you like to do this again? 2
Gaeta Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 "Let's do this again sometime" or sending a post date text thanking you for the evening, etc.. I assure you that 90% of women don't have it in them to come up with 'lets do this again sometimes', unless the guy said it first. That would be too much chasing him. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 (edited) Not at all, not from a woman. I say that with a smile and wait for him to reply with: would you like to do this again? Most men will take that as a blow off. Instead either hint at future plans at the end of the date, or send a text an hour after the date saying "Thanks for the lovely evening". I assure you that 90% of women don't have it in them to come up with 'lets do this again sometimes', unless the guy said it first. That would be too much chasing him. EVERY woman I ever had a second date with either hinted at future plans after the first date, or sent a short post first date text. Then again, if I want to see a woman again, I kiss close and take her enjoyment during the kiss as my main hint. ;-) Edited March 29, 2015 by fitnessfan365
Gaeta Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 or send a text an hour after the date saying "Thanks for the lovely evening". That part I agree, if a woman enjoyed herself and wants to do it again she will text a thank you note, she will do it because it's an indirect way of saying she is interested. But coming forward with 'lets do this again' to the man, face to face, before she knows if he's interested, is not the type of things most women do.
Gaeta Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 EVERY woman I ever had a second date with either hinted at future plans after the first date, or sent a short post first date text. Then again, if I want to see a woman again, I kiss close and take her enjoyment during the kiss as my main hint. ;-) They hinted or went in full blown with: I would like to see you again even before you came in with your kiss ?
fitnessfan365 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 That part I agree, if a woman enjoyed herself and wants to do it again she will text a thank you note, she will do it because it's an indirect way of saying she is interested. But coming forward with 'lets do this again' to the man, face to face, before she knows if he's interested, is not the type of things most women do. As I said, it happens A LOT to me. But when I like a woman and want to see her again, I kiss her on a first date. So maybe that's why she's comfortable enough to hint at future plans because she knows I'm interested.
Gaeta Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 As I said, it happens A LOT to me. But when I like a woman and want to see her again, I kiss her on a first date. So maybe that's why she's comfortable enough to hint at future plans because she knows I'm interested. There you go. You came up with the strong hint first.
compulsivedancer Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 It's still pretty early. She might still be recovering from all the drinking last night. I didn't drink last night, and I went to bed fairly early...yet I'm still in bed. Give her till the end of the day before you brush her off. 2
Mrin Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Some good advice here. A few tactical things: 1. You met her on Tinder. Which is mostly but not exclusively a hookup site. 2. You should have gone to dinner with her friends if it was a genuine invitation. 6:1 odds are a terrific ratio 3. She may have met someone else when she was out with her friends. It happens. Give her until tomorrow and then move along. No need to reach out to her again. 1
Philosopher Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 I am afraid this sort of thing happens all the time and unfortunately you will probably never know exactly what went wrong. There are a multitude of reasons of why she did not respond to your text. It could be that she felt no chemistry, it could be that you didn't kiss her and so she assumed you were not interested. It could be that she did feel like dating someone at this time. Every girl is different so what you did on this date may work great for the next date. You just have to move onto the next girl and hope you have better luck next time. Providing you this sort of thing does not happen on the majority of your future dates then are probably doing nothing wrong. 1
Author Avante91 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 Hi guys thank you for all your contributions. She text back and said she got really drunk and has been in and out of sleep all day which seems genuine to me. I was about to blow her off I went for food with my family then with friends and I was surprised when I got the text as I had written the idea off. I'm just going to try be calm and patient and not needy or come across desperate.. Numerous times during the night she hinted things like "Next time we can do this" "Have you ever tried ... For food we should go" I think it's early days but I got a response I wanted to kiss her but it felt awkward we were in a taxi and to be honest I haven't kissed a girl since my ex 5 month ago, I didn't want to mess it up! This whole dating game is so alien to me haha! 1
LifeandPerseverance Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Her response could be completely genuine. I also second what some others have said--you were with your ex a long time. You're on the rebound whether you like it or not. 1
Author Avante91 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 Her response could be completely genuine. I also second what some others have said--you were with your ex a long time. You're on the rebound whether you like it or not. I don't have a like nor a dislike to dating again, how else am I to move on with my life and find love again? The term rebound sounds cheap to me I'm just dating that's all, my old relationship died and so have my feelings. 3 years is a long time but I won't waste any more time grieving it I am moving forward not backwards
mortensorchid Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Sounds like she was bored and was looking for something to do with someone. It's the way of the world unfortunately. Move on.
Author Avante91 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 Hi guys, Second date tonight - so I guesd I didn't get blown off she was just hungover Kind Regards Avante X 1
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