Jump to content

Is he only interested in THAT type of girl?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

[i wasn't sure what section to post this in, hopefully it belongs here!]

 

This concern crossed my mind but I have been too embarrassed to tell anybody I know, because basically it required me to stalk a bit!

 

Anyways, I am interested in someone I know, and recently found out he has an instagram. It's not a secret account or anything, he follows some of our friends and vice versa. It's also not a private account. so you can view his photos - they are available to the public. On Instagram, you can see the people who "follow" him and who he has decided to follow. I clicked on who he follows, and couldn't help but notice about 90% of the people he follows are hot chicks. if you look at their photos, they have a lot of selfies showing off their scantily clad bodies, or photos of them being gorgeous and wearing a lot of makeup, out partying and drinking. Some of the people he follows follow him back but not all. SOME clearly have a lot of "fans" - more followers than they follow. so what I am saying is that at least for SOME of them, i don't think he really knows the girls.

When i saw this I got sad because I am definitely not that type of a girl. I am attractive. I am in shape. But i am not tan and sexy wearing low-cut, tight outfits or collagen injected lips. That's just not me and I don't know if it ever will be.

What makes me sad about it is that I am thinking maybe that's the type of girl he goes for? That's totally fine and all, and I am saying it in a judgmental way - i am saying it in a "he'll never like me" way. and that means I would want to move on and not like him any more. I don't know why but I feel so depressed now. I am not even dating the guy!

 

The thing about him though, that i happen to know is that this guy is in his 30's. has had one girlfriend his whole life and that was 4 years ago. I don't know if that's relevant but just thought i'd throw that in there. on HIS instagram he doesn't have ANY photos with any of these girls. NONE. just some pictures of him and his friends or some other stuff like that

 

anyways, i hope that you guys can give me your input. is he just into that type of girl? should I move on? It's ok, i can take it!

Posted

Those scantily clad women are probably what he enjoys looking at. If you don't see him dating them he probably has little respect for them.

 

 

What people do on-line isn't always who they are IRL.

  • Author
Posted
Those scantily clad women are probably what he enjoys looking at. If you don't see him dating them he probably has little respect for them.

 

 

What people do on-line isn't always who they are IRL.

 

I don't know him that well. I don't know who he dates. I had thought he didn't date much at all. He hasn't talked about dating. He has never brought a date around. So honestly I have no evidence one way or another as to whether he dates that kind of girl.

I do know however that all his good buddies are engaged or married to more regular girls (not super hotties like the ones in the pics ) but maybe that's why he is still single ... Maybe harder to find what he's looking for?

Posted

If you are going to continue to psych yourself out, this will never get off the ground.

 

 

Simply keep talking to him. Befriend his buddies wives if that can happen naturally. Learn more. Be flirty. See where it goes but keep your options open.

Posted
[!

 

Anyways, I am interested in someone I know,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then get off the computer and talk to him.

 

 

As you talk to him you will know more and more about him and you can stop sitting on the computer speculating about him.

 

 

As a wise old man, I can tell you exactly what kind of women he likes assuming he is not gay.

 

 

He likes real life, flesh and blood women in the real world that like him. He likes women that talk to him, make eye contact with him, laugh at his stupid jokes, goes out on dates with him, flirts with him, shows interest in him, touches him, cuddles up against him, kisses him, makes out with him etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc.

 

 

I know with 100% certainty that that is the kind of women that he likes and I have never even met him.

 

 

Be that girl.

  • Like 4
Posted

That stuff puts me off too. I like someone with a little more varied interests than semi-nude women they'll never have a chance in hell of banging. What would be better for you to look for on Instagram is a guy who puts up photos of some of your same interests, whether it's a hobby, sport or band, because then you have a perfect reason to reach out and get a conversation started. This guy here, all he's doing with his days is sitting around masturbating. Big fun.

Posted
That stuff puts me off too. I like someone with a little more varied interests than semi-nude women they'll never have a chance in hell of banging. What would be better for you to look for on Instagram is a guy who puts up photos of some of your same interests, whether it's a hobby, sport or band, because then you have a perfect reason to reach out and get a conversation started. This guy here, all he's doing with his days is sitting around masturbating. Big fun.

 

Well, to be fair, I think women underestimate how potent the visual stimulation is to men.

 

I like to think of beautiful women, much like I think about beautiful art.

 

I know they're people. I know they're more than their looks. I know I have zero chance of sleeping with them. Yet, I still find them engaging and pleasant to look at?

 

That doesn't mean I'm going to spend all day staring at pictures of them masturbating.

 

I suppose what I'm saying is, if the guy had a gallery of high performance cars, no one would think twice. I don't think loving the beauty of women has to mean you're some sex crazed pervert. Surely we can appreciate beauty for beauty's sake?

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted (edited)
Well, to be fair, I think women underestimate how potent the visual stimulation is to men.

 

I like to think of beautiful women, much like I think about beautiful art.

 

I know they're people. I know they're more than their looks. I know I have zero chance of sleeping with them. Yet, I still find them engaging and pleasant to look at?

 

That doesn't mean I'm going to spend all day staring at pictures of them masturbating.

 

I suppose what I'm saying is, if the guy had a gallery of high performance cars, no one would think twice. I don't think loving the beauty of women has to mean you're some sex crazed pervert. Surely we can appreciate beauty for beauty's sake?

 

I think we have lost sight of why I started the thread. My reasoning was not to imply that he is some kind of pervert sitting at home jacking off. Instead, my concern was, maybe these hotties are more his caliber of women... I am more of a girl next door. Cute but not a hottie. (Unless I go out on the town. I have been known to get dolled up and turn a few heads ) but anyway, does this make sense? Like I was feeling sad because if he only dates that kinda girl, I might as well move on. Somebody above said to talk to him more and see what happens. I think I will do that!

 

And I don't necessarily know if he would have no shot in hell in sleeping with these girls. He's tall and handsome, in shape, drives a nice car. For all I know he does get this kind of girl.

Edited by HansonGirl
Posted

Have you seen his ex gf? Maybe if you did you would get an idea of what his type is. He may love looking at goodlooking women but what guy doesn't (unless he's gay of course)? Most of them know they can look but can't get.

  • Author
Posted
Have you seen his ex gf? Maybe if you did you would get an idea of what his type is. He may love looking at goodlooking women but what guy doesn't (unless he's gay of course)? Most of them know they can look but can't get.

 

Good point. I havd not seen a pic. I would have to add him on facebook and maybe there would be some photos there.

Posted
Well, to be fair, I think women underestimate how potent the visual stimulation is to men.

 

I like to think of beautiful women, much like I think about beautiful art.

 

I know they're people. I know they're more than their looks. I know I have zero chance of sleeping with them. Yet, I still find them engaging and pleasant to look at?

 

That doesn't mean I'm going to spend all day staring at pictures of them masturbating.

 

I suppose what I'm saying is, if the guy had a gallery of high performance cars, no one would think twice. I don't think loving the beauty of women has to mean you're some sex crazed pervert. Surely we can appreciate beauty for beauty's sake?

 

Are 90% of those you follow on Instagram, semi-clad hotties?

Posted
Well, to be fair, I think women underestimate how potent the visual stimulation is to men.

 

I like to think of beautiful women, much like I think about beautiful art.

 

I know they're people. I know they're more than their looks. I know I have zero chance of sleeping with them. Yet, I still find them engaging and pleasant to look at?

 

That doesn't mean I'm going to spend all day staring at pictures of them masturbating.

 

I suppose what I'm saying is, if the guy had a gallery of high performance cars, no one would think twice. I don't think loving the beauty of women has to mean you're some sex crazed pervert. Surely we can appreciate beauty for beauty's sake?

 

I don't underestimate it, but what I see is guys liking "hot" women who don't even exist in real life without air-brushing, and a wise woman won't take up with someone who gets so carried away with that. A guy who truly loves women will like a variety of types of women, not just ones with huge boobs and airbrushed space between their thighs and inches airbrushed off their wastes to make them look like an hourglass. To me, it's not perverted, but it is very shallow to not have any more interests that the only thing you care to advertise about yourself on Instagram is "I think this chick is hot," "I think this other chick is hot." I mean, what does that say about a person?

  • Author
Posted (edited)
I don't underestimate it, but what I see is guys liking "hot" women who don't even exist in real life without air-brushing, and a wise woman won't take up with someone who gets so carried away with that. A guy who truly loves women will like a variety of types of women, not just ones with huge boobs and airbrushed space between their thighs and inches airbrushed off their wastes to make them look like an hourglass. To me, it's not perverted, but it is very shallow to not have any more interests that the only thing you care to advertise about yourself on Instagram is "I think this chick is hot," "I think this other chick is hot." I mean, what does that say about a person?

 

I totally see what you are saying. Not trying to be a Devils advocate but I wouldn't say these chicks are airbrushed and with big boobs. I probably did a poor job explaining it earlier. But they are attractive girls with collagen injected lips who exist. A couple of them I noticed are college cheerleaders (or former cheerleaders?!) so you know, real girls with really nice bodies because they have to work out a lot. Anyways I just wanted to clarify.

 

A few of them have big boobs, but not all and one in particular with the big boobs wears low cut tops that actually looks absolutely rediculous. I'm thinking: need attention much?? But I would say the trend seems to be these girls like to show off their nice bodies and get attention. Lol. I just went back to look at them again :-P.

But I agree with you I also wouldn't want someone who is shallow!!!! You're right on that!!

 

And yo the other person. No 90% of who I follow aren't hotties. Lol.

Edited by HansonGirl
Posted

Women are in general so particular about the type of man they are attracted to that it never ceases to amaze me that when they find him, they are so passive and over-analytical about the situation.

 

How can you ever hope to rope in that stud if you don't use some initiative?

  • Author
Posted
Women are in general so particular about the type of man they are attracted to that it never ceases to amaze me that when they find him, they are so passive and over-analytical about the situation.

 

How can you ever hope to rope in that stud if you don't use some initiative?

 

 

 

What do you mean??? Teach me! I definitely any to rope him in! I might have the chance this weekend!

Posted
What do you mean??? Teach me! I definitely any to rope him in! I might have the chance this weekend!

 

Yea...

 

I can 'teach' you like you can teach me how to rope in women that aren't attracted to me.

Posted

Women like that are fun to look at. But to be honest, they're usually not that fun to date. When I've dated women that are 9's and 10's physically, they have a tendency to be high maintenance, self involved, and boring to talk to. Also, they tend to think that their looks are enough and are very lazy in bed. The woman who knocked my socks off that's my current GF is definitely cute (7/10). But her amazing personality, communication skills, and genuine nature is what drew me in. Plus, underneath her innocent exterior, beats the heart of a freaky sexual interior. So even though she may not dress like a hot girlie girl, she's still a ten in my eyes.

 

There is a great line in 500 Days of Summer that says - "Technically the girl of my dreams would probably have a really bodacious rack and be more into sports. But truthfully, Robin's better than the girl of my dreams. She's real.' The moral obviously being that a genuine reality will always be better than a made up fantasy.

  • Like 3
Posted
I think we have lost sight of why I started the thread. My reasoning was not to imply that he is some kind of pervert sitting at home jacking off. Instead, my concern was, maybe these hotties are more his caliber of women... I am more of a girl next door. Cute but not a hottie. (Unless I go out on the town. I have been known to get dolled up and turn a few heads ) but anyway, does this make sense? Like I was feeling sad because if he only dates that kinda girl, I might as well move on. Somebody above said to talk to him more and see what happens. I think I will do that!

 

And I don't necessarily know if he would have no shot in hell in sleeping with these girls. He's tall and handsome, in shape, drives a nice car. For all I know he does get this kind of girl.

 

I agree. Sorry for the derail.

 

With regards your original topic, I think everyone feels that way now and then.

 

It's easy to compare ourselves to other people and find ourselves lacking. We have HUGE pressure from popular media, telling us what attractive should be, how it should look.

 

I'll tell you this though. The relationships that meant the most to me, the ones that really stuck with me.. The girls were all average looking people. Their *REAL* beauty was in who they were, under all that.

 

You're not how you look. If the guy you like can't see past the trappings of the container you happen to come in, that's his loss. The people who love you, really love you, will do so for who you are.

Posted
[i wasn't sure what section to post this in, hopefully it belongs here!]

 

This concern crossed my mind but I have been too embarrassed to tell anybody I know, because basically it required me to stalk a bit!

 

Anyways, I am interested in someone I know, and recently found out he has an instagram. It's not a secret account or anything, he follows some of our friends and vice versa. It's also not a private account. so you can view his photos - they are available to the public. On Instagram, you can see the people who "follow" him and who he has decided to follow. I clicked on who he follows, and couldn't help but notice about 90% of the people he follows are hot chicks. if you look at their photos, they have a lot of selfies showing off their scantily clad bodies, or photos of them being gorgeous and wearing a lot of makeup, out partying and drinking. Some of the people he follows follow him back but not all. SOME clearly have a lot of "fans" - more followers than they follow. so what I am saying is that at least for SOME of them, i don't think he really knows the girls.

When i saw this I got sad because I am definitely not that type of a girl. I am attractive. I am in shape. But i am not tan and sexy wearing low-cut, tight outfits or collagen injected lips. That's just not me and I don't know if it ever will be.

What makes me sad about it is that I am thinking maybe that's the type of girl he goes for? That's totally fine and all, and I am saying it in a judgmental way - i am saying it in a "he'll never like me" way. and that means I would want to move on and not like him any more. I don't know why but I feel so depressed now. I am not even dating the guy!

 

The thing about him though, that i happen to know is that this guy is in his 30's. has had one girlfriend his whole life and that was 4 years ago. I don't know if that's relevant but just thought i'd throw that in there. on HIS instagram he doesn't have ANY photos with any of these girls. NONE. just some pictures of him and his friends or some other stuff like that

 

anyways, i hope that you guys can give me your input. is he just into that type of girl? should I move on? It's ok, i can take it!

 

I don't really think that you can for certain know his "type" based on his Instagram.

 

It just seems like lots of guessing is going on here and the only way you'll know anything real is if you plan to flirt with him and see if he responds or blatantly ask him out.

  • Author
Posted (edited)
I don't really think that you can for certain know his "type" based on his Instagram.

 

It just seems like lots of guessing is going on here and the only way you'll know anything real is if you plan to flirt with him and see if he responds or blatantly ask him out.

 

Ugh I just typed a message and then it disappeared! I know some of you will say I am jumping to conclusions and overreacting, but i'm going to say this anyways. So me and the guy (the subject of this thread) are supposed to hang out this weekend - not a date, just going to do this activity together that nobody else we know wants to do.

Well i follow him on instagram now, and it shows the recent activity from your friends (i.e., "JoeSchmo123 started following DitzyGirl345" or "MikeJones liked 2 photos"). Well he started following somebody new, so out of curiosity I viewed it. Once again, it's some girl, she wrote that she is 23, she has over 2,000 followers and she is in our (small) city. I viewed some of her photos, almost every single one is a selfie, and there are over 300 photos -- and one example, under which she wrote: "TBT to when my hair was long" and the photo of her is of her in a bra and underwear. To me this is just transparent that it's pathetic. I personally wouldn't do that. And I am ok with myself not being that type. But the thing is, apparently, this guy IS into that. And frankly I think I am going to unfollow him on Instagram and blow him off this weekend. I don't even want to hang out with him any more. I really am starting to think he's shallow and immature. I just want to get over my little crush on him, which I am already starting to, and just forget about it. I still don't picture him sitting around masturbating to these instagram accounts... i actually picture him trying to get with these girls. Like i know he is on Tinder, and those dating sites. who's to say he doesn't use them for girls like this. I actually have a weird feeling(yes just a guess) that Tinder is the source of where he is finding some of these chicks.

 

I just can't compete. He knows me in real life and apparently I am invisible to him and he's not into me. And i am not really willing to transform into these girls who post scantily clad photos. Not only that - I just can't get over the feeling like maybe i don't WANT a 30-something guy who goes on Tinder all the time and only adds 23 hotties to his Instagram. Something about it I just can't get past...

 

So right now I am really wanting to unfollow him and not respond to him about our weekend plans....

What do you think?

Edited by HansonGirl
Posted (edited)

I feel it's pretty normal for women to do that sort of thing and I would say the majority do it.

 

I might not know too many women who take selfies in the bathroom mirror while making duck faces and dolled up.

 

But I know plenty of women who take pictures with them and their girlfriends trying to look cute and pretty and appealing to men. It's really a grey line if you think about it.

 

There are women who don't have any 'pretty/sexy' pics. My sister is like that. She never wears makeup, and you can never find a pic of her trying to look cute or pretty or sexy. That's the kind of woman I prefer. But I wouldn't nix a woman just because she did do that. One girl I dated did do that, kind of take 'cute selfies'. Not a crazy amount or anything, but she did it.

Edited by JuneJulySeptember
  • Author
Posted
I feel it's pretty normal for women to do that sort of thing and I would say the majority do it.

 

I might not know too many women who take selfies in the bathroom mirror while making duck faces and dolled up.

 

But I know plenty of women who take pictures with them and their girlfriends trying to look cute and pretty and appealing to men. It's really a grey line if you think about it.

 

There are women who don't have any 'pretty/sexy' pics. My sister is like that. She never wears makeup, and you can never find a pic of her trying to look cute or pretty or sexy. That's the kind of woman I prefer. But I wouldn't nix a woman just because she did do that. One girl I dated did do that, kind of take 'cute selfies'. Not a crazy amount or anything, but she did it.

 

There is a difference between wanting to look cute and hot in some photos and devoting your entire account to making your selfies scandalous for the purpose of getting a reaction / attention. As an analogy, compare the antics of Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift.

I never said girls cannot do that. I have some cute photos too. but I am saying, every single photo is a selfie, some with low cut cleavage. it's gratuitous....

Anyways this isn't even about the girl, ya know? It really doesn't bother me that this person i don't know is that way. I was describing her account in the context of the story in order to give everyone a better idea of what happened that sparked me to react the way I did! I don't see why your anecdotes about who you have dated has any relevance....

Posted (edited)
I don't see why your anecdotes about who you have dated has any relevance....

 

It has relevance because I said that even though something is a turn-off I don't make it a dealbreaker.

 

Anyway, you're not happy with my opinion. So, good luck.

Edited by JuneJulySeptember
  • Author
Posted (edited)
It has relevance because I said that even though something is a turn-off I don't make it a dealbreaker.

 

Anyway, you're not happy with my opinion. So, good luck.

 

I'm not unhappy with your opinion, and I understand what you are saying, but whether or not a girl posting excessive selfies is a turnoff for a guy or a dealbreaker has no relevance to this thread. I'm not trying to date this girl, and I'm not trying to get somebody to date her. Furthermore, clearly it's not a dealbreaker to this guy since he clearly likes this kind of girl since that's 90% of the people he follows. So i already KNOW that it's not a dealbreaker for him! And I don't think it's a turnoff for him either, I think he's into that, or maybe too shallow to realize it should be a turn-off. So all i was saying is your anecdote about having dated girls like that didn't add anything. Nothing more nothing less. Also I can't disagree with your opinion because you don't give one - you simply say that you've dated girls like that and it doesn't bother you. (but i do disagree that it's most women that have instagrams like this girl)

 

Let's not lose sight of my purpose for writing that post, which is now buried. I am still supposed to hang out with him tomorrow and I don't know what to do! I don't know if i want to waste my time with some fool who probably going to be thinking about 20-year-olds the whole time and maybe checking his Tinder every 5 minutes while we hang out..... :-(

Edited by HansonGirl
Posted
Women are in general so particular about the type of man they are attracted to that it never ceases to amaze me that when they find him, they are so passive and over-analytical about the situation.

 

He knows me in real life and apparently I am invisible to him and he's not into me.

 

And frankly I think I am going to unfollow him on Instagram and blow him off this weekend. I don't even want to hang out with him any more. I really am starting to think he's shallow and immature.

 

JuneJulySeptember hit on the mark. You haven't even spoken to him one-on-one, just stalking his Instagram making wild assumptions. You're willing to give up before you even tried. You're also intimidated for some reason by the type of girls he follows online, and you are allowing it to affect your self-esteem and confidence. If he knows you in real life but you think you are invisible to him, then make yourself visible to him. Go hang out and talk to him. Just as women like a man that is confident, men also like a confident woman.

×
×
  • Create New...