elaine567 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 You only get one life, if you really like him, then you have to show him you do. BUT you have to make sure in your own mind that you are not just wanting him because he is now a challenge. Leading him on, then rejecting him again would be cruel. 1
Author Hopeful30 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 You only get one life, if you really like him, then you have to show him you do. BUT you have to make sure in your own mind that you are not just wanting him because he is now a challenge. Leading him on, then rejecting him again would be cruel. Wanna hear something interesting? I tried very hard not to like him because hes not the kind of guy I can see myself having a long term relationship with. Im the kind of person who doesnt approach certain things if they will be extremely ahort lived, because i feel like that's unnecessary emotional turbulence, you know what I mean? Thats why im unsure about what to do. I dont see him as a boyfriend exactly, but i still really like him. Its weird and im not sure how to respond to the situation, or if it will even be worth telling him should the opportunity present itself. On one aide I think "f*ck it, it is what it is" but on the other side i think "whats the point? It might make things awkward". Then I think "well you only live once". "But hes seeing someone." "You dont see him as a relationship material anyways, move on." "But i really like him, nothing wrong with that." Etc etc etC
elaine567 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Wanna hear something interesting? I tried very hard not to like him because hes not the kind of guy I can see myself having a long term relationship with. Im the kind of person who doesnt approach certain things if they will be extremely ahort lived, because i feel like that's unnecessary emotional turbulence, you know what I mean? Thats why im unsure about what to do. I dont see him as a boyfriend exactly, but i still really like him. Its weird and im not sure how to respond to the situation, or if it will even be worth telling him should the opportunity present itself. On one aide I think "f*ck it, it is what it is" but on the other side i think "whats the point? It might make things awkward". Then I think "well you only live once". "But hes seeing someone." "You dont see him as a relationship material anyways, move on." "But i really like him, nothing wrong with that." Etc etc etC Perhaps do the write down the advantages/disadvantages on a bit of paper trick. Lots of questions you need to ask yourself. Are you being sensible and noting red flags or are you just over-thinking it? What exactly does relationship material look like to you? Is your version of boyfriend material achievable for you? Is he just dating and never meeting anyone special - unlucky, or is he simply a serial dater deliberately keeping all at arm's length and moving on quickly? I know you think it may not last, but what else are you doing anyway? 1
Rex1971 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 It's absolutely hilarious to see women arguing over this and trying to cover up what they really think with some politically correct babble. Fact is women desire what other women have whether it's a guy or a new piece of clothing. Fact is women want this to be a challenge or a game.
William Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 I'll leave the post above up as an example of what to look for, and ignore, in our group of hydras which register multiple usernames per day to attempt to disrupt the forums. Normally, they just disappear but sometimes we're not around and they gain a foothold and attempt to lure members in with postings like the one above. I got lucky and caught this one after only one post. Now that we have five moderators, we have more time to scan threads quickly looking for particular patterns and IP addresses. Sorry for the intrusion but, since regular members are posting here, I figured an advisory would be worthwhile. Now back to the feelings surrounding a person one wants to date always dating someone else. Thanks! 1
katiegrl Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Would you prefer he liked you right away based on only your looks and one conversation? I guess some people prefer that... Let me guess, he cant grow to love you either right? He needs to love you right away too? Hmm... Damn, hes not into me anymore then. I only ever see him when we run into each other ugh! If only men were a little patient and realized women arent like men and take some time to like someone. We arent purely visual you know. Well, maybe katiegirl is, she seems to hate the idea of growing on someone. Apparently you should know right away. ^^Thanks for completely twisting what I wrote to mean something other than what I meant. Don't ya just love when that happens! Good luck though. Hoping someday you will grow enough on him too ... and y'all can ride off together into the sunset...
carhill Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 OP, since you apparently have a personal conundrum regarding this interaction, perhaps exacerbated by unrequited feelings, create some distance in order to resolve that conundrum and find a clear direction. If the man isn't what you consider long-term potential and you want long-term, accept that. If he's with someone else and you have a solid boundary regarding people who are already in relationships, accept that. If other, other. Basically, work through the issues, one by one, absent any contact with him, make a decision and go with it. Finish the business, decisively, one way or another. Only you know what the healthy decision for yourself is. The remaining variable, should you choose to remain in the milieu and pursue an interaction with him, is him. That part is unknown. 1
Author Hopeful30 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 Perhaps do the write down the advantages/disadvantages on a bit of paper trick. Lots of questions you need to ask yourself. Are you being sensible and noting red flags or are you just over-thinking it? What exactly does relationship material look like to you? Is your version of boyfriend material achievable for you? Is he just dating and never meeting anyone special - unlucky, or is he simply a serial dater deliberately keeping all at arm's length and moving on quickly? I know you think it may not last, but what else are you doing anyway? This is great advice. As for whether he is a serial dater or not, I cant really say. Only he knows what is going on with him. As for boyfriend material, I look for stability in the sense that we can both solve problems together and travel, get a place etc. He is great with people but not at building and maintaining stabilities in his life, particularly being a good worker (he sucks at his job) and working to better his life (he settles for everything it seems.)
Author Hopeful30 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Posted March 31, 2015 *** UPDATE **** So I decided that I'm going to tell him how I feel because a) he's not in a serious relationship, it's just dating so I can't cause too much damage and b) because f*ck it. You never know what might happen. Oddly enough, I'm noticing now that he avoids me altogether. Whenever we run into each other, he's quiet, and never ever looks me in the eye anymore. Our interactions are very "hey how you doing" "good you?" "good..." That hurts my feelings because come on, we used to be such good friends and now I'm non existent? A small light in the back of my head pops up telling me "Maybe it's because he likes you too, but thinks you don't, so he's just trying to move on from you." I need Loveshack to tell me NO THATS NOT IT before my mind gets the best of me and I do something stupid. Thanks! ***UPDATE***
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