When to accept friendship, and when to walk away... what now?

[LoneWolf5493]

Hey all!

 

Over the past couple of months i've been learning the importance of self worth, respecting yourself and valuing who you are. I've learnt to walk away from things i don't want, particularly things like when friendzoned and what not by girls you have romantic interest in if they are not willing to reciprocate.

 

But my question is based on the friendship thing. When do you accept being friends and when don't you; when do you walk away?

 

I've got a girl who dumped me a few months back, there was no ill intent and no hard feelings, but i didn't accept the friendship because i wanted romance and haven't spoken to her for almost 3 months now. It's been a hard road, even though i have times when i really want to talk to her, but i know that doing so is counterintuitive. I can't changet the way she feels about me, but i can change the way i feel, and how i show up. But i can't help feeling crappy about the whole thing. I like her and i know that being "just friends" isn't going to lead anywhere and the suffering that comes with those situation isn't worth it most of the time, but i still can't help but feel that the way i handled it wasn't the right thing.

 

Again, when do you accept friendship, and when do you walk away? And what do I do about the situation?

 

Any advice will be greatly appreciated...

[elaine567]

You are the dumpee, you cannot, as you have found out, accept friendship, not now anyway, you want more and seeing her move on will hurt like hell.

A few years down the line maybe, when it doesn't matter anymore, and you are in a good place, you could perhaps be "just friends".

ATM you are still grieving, stay NC to allow yourself to heal and move on.

[preraph]

You did the right thing. You walk away from friendship when your feelings are romantic and you want more than that. Whether you stay or go, it's still painful. If you stay, it's daily yearning and heartbreak and seeing who they're dating. If you go, you still have heartbreak, but it's not daily and the big difference is you need to go because if you don't, you will never move on and make yourself start living life again.

 

There is simply no point in staying if you're in love with the person and they're not.