Karin2rinkashi Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 (edited) I am 24 and only been in ONE relationship ( GOT BURNED, IT HURT!). I think the reason i have never been in many relationships is because i am just DIFFERENT...... Like really... I DON'T drink, i DON'T give a single **** about what people around me are thinking... i work 8-5, get home by 6. Go to the gym by 7, come back by 9. Eat by 10. Sleep by 11. There goes the day! On the weekends, go skydiving Saturdays, Keyboard lessons Sundays and then running too. Go to the mall with friends but IGNORE everyone because everyone is TRYING SO ****ING HARD! Turns me off at the first sight.... And if someone does seem charming, they don't know what the earth's gravitational acceleration constant is...????? Really???? It is 9.81 m/s^2 And even if you ignore that, MOST of them can't keep up a 5 min conversation relating to Geo-political situation of lately.... I mean, where have you been? Under a ****ing rock? And NO! Europe isn't a ****ing country. I WILL GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE I was at Express or Zarra's, one or the other, and the girl at the check out seemed cute and stylish. So i started talking. She told me her name and it was a very cool name too. So i said, of that sounds SO European... She goes "Oh no! It is English (as in England)" I replied VERY politely "That is in Europe... ..... LATER!" To put it bluntly, most of them are just BASIC, and the other ones are straight STUPID.... #ForeverAlone Edited March 30, 2015 by Karin2rinkashi
Author NoUsernameLeft1990 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 I drank for the first time about 8 months ago...I drank 3 beers and a few shots of something lol. I felt no different after lol. If only I enjoyed it, I'd have more friends and things to do! You felt no different?? Really? That's odd. I have to say, for me, having a few drinks certainly tends to help some situations. But I need to learn how approach men without the drink!
Author NoUsernameLeft1990 Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 You know what else you aren't due to not having been in a super serious relationship? Scarred by the fall out when "serious" relationships fail. "Serious" is in quotes because people your age think serious is one thing people my age 10 years older think of something else entirely. This way when you start the first serious relationship at 25 or older you'll be a more wise and mature person as you do it. I suppose most people my age have a very idea of serious in comparison to yours. I have had bad experience with men in the past, which I wouldn't say I've been "scarred" by, but they certainly have been nasty. I think that has also put me off approaching men. I also think I probably should have used the word "meaningful" more than "serious".
Mrlonelyone Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I suppose most people my age have a very idea of serious in comparison to yours. I have had bad experience with men in the past, which I wouldn't say I've been "scarred" by, but they certainly have been nasty. I think that has also put me off approaching men. I also think I probably should have used the word "meaningful" more than "serious". In the not super distant past I was involved for the first time ever with someone noticeably younger than myself. What I learned from this was two things that can be generalized. 1.) Under 25 people have shorter time horizons than those who are closer to 35 (I'm certain those who are 45 and 55 see me as relatively short sighted too). 2.) To people under 25 serious is arranging a trip six months in advance. To people over 25, especially 30 and up serious plans are buying real estate, or getting married. Everything else is basically casual in comparison. That is not a put down. It is just as one experiences those things which are new when one is young they loose their serious feel and become common even a bit boring. It is like mountain climbing, or long distance running or swimming. If one has swam the English channel swimming in the local pool just isn't a big deal.
MLAZ1990 Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 You felt no different?? Really? That's odd. I have to say, for me, having a few drinks certainly tends to help some situations. But I need to learn how approach men without the drink! Just be confident! Really you don't have to be confident really...shyness in my opinion is cute. If I had a girl approach me and she was all shy, I'd be pretty flattered haha!
kayla73 Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Being shy cannot change. What you can change is how you view yourself. I always felt gloomy about being single, and I never left the house unless I had to work. My friends always told me that I needed to put myself out there more. I was/am very shy and had no confidence. I took the first step into losing weight. I then started to wear my hair down more, even at work. I went shopping with friends. I felt amazing just doing those little things. I gained so much confidence. You become so much more approachable. You say that you work with cute guys. Although many would say that you should stay clear of dating your coworkers, I don't completely agree. Being a shy person, I can't just approach a cute guy in public or at a party (not that I would go to one). At work, you are forced to be around each other. You develop friendships with people you never thought you would. Look into this. This will at least raise your confidence. You might surprise yourself and land a guy.
Author NoUsernameLeft1990 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Posted March 31, 2015 Being shy cannot change. What you can change is how you view yourself. I always felt gloomy about being single, and I never left the house unless I had to work. My friends always told me that I needed to put myself out there more. I was/am very shy and had no confidence. I took the first step into losing weight. I then started to wear my hair down more, even at work. I went shopping with friends. I felt amazing just doing those little things. I gained so much confidence. You become so much more approachable. You say that you work with cute guys. Although many would say that you should stay clear of dating your coworkers, I don't completely agree. Being a shy person, I can't just approach a cute guy in public or at a party (not that I would go to one). At work, you are forced to be around each other. You develop friendships with people you never thought you would. Look into this. This will at least raise your confidence. You might surprise yourself and land a guy. I have certainly found that if I'm having a good hair day (for example) I feel better about myself. If I buy new clothes that I feel good in, I can feel my confidence building. I've heard a saying, 'Before anyone else can love you, you must first love yourself.' I completely agree with this! I need to learn to love myself a bit first! There is actually one guy at work that I quite like, but he's quite a bit younger than me... Plus I also work with his mum. It could be a bit awkward or difficult! Plus I'm not too sure if he's single.
Author NoUsernameLeft1990 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Posted March 31, 2015 In the not super distant past I was involved for the first time ever with someone noticeably younger than myself. What I learned from this was two things that can be generalized. 1.) Under 25 people have shorter time horizons than those who are closer to 35 (I'm certain those who are 45 and 55 see me as relatively short sighted too). 2.) To people under 25 serious is arranging a trip six months in advance. To people over 25, especially 30 and up serious plans are buying real estate, or getting married. Everything else is basically casual in comparison. That is not a put down. It is just as one experiences those things which are new when one is young they loose their serious feel and become common even a bit boring. It is like mountain climbing, or long distance running or swimming. If one has swam the English channel swimming in the local pool just isn't a big deal. The younger you are, the quicker you want to experience new things. I remember when I was 15 wanting to do as much as I could as fast as I could. I still want to experience new things, don't get me wrong. I just want them to be more meaningful. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong and that's why I still haven't experienced a relationship, serious or not.
Karin2rinkashi Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 The younger you are, the quicker you want to experience new things. I remember when I was 15 wanting to do as much as I could as fast as I could. I still want to experience new things, don't get me wrong. I just want them to be more meaningful. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong and that's why I still haven't experienced a relationship, serious or not. You aren't doing anything wrong. As long as you are happy with it all. Been in a few relationships, only one serious, still a virgin, i am 24 year old man. Why? Because i chose to be. Yet, the longest i got into a relationship was 1 year, without sex. It broke down because of distance... Point being, you can have meaningful relationships (whatever meaningful means to you)... But they are definitely tough to come by, especially you have strict boundaries like me... I don't know why, i just want to save myself till marriage. As orthodox as it may sound.... There is a certain level of excitement about it..... anticipation.... but also comes with a lot of pressure.. Don't wana lose it to the wrong person in the end.... TOUGH!!!! I am just telling you that we all have something weird about us....
Author NoUsernameLeft1990 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Posted March 31, 2015 You aren't doing anything wrong. As long as you are happy with it all. Been in a few relationships, only one serious, still a virgin, i am 24 year old man. Why? Because i chose to be. Yet, the longest i got into a relationship was 1 year, without sex. It broke down because of distance... Point being, you can have meaningful relationships (whatever meaningful means to you)... But they are definitely tough to come by, especially you have strict boundaries like me... I don't know why, i just want to save myself till marriage. As orthodox as it may sound.... There is a certain level of excitement about it..... anticipation.... but also comes with a lot of pressure.. Don't wana lose it to the wrong person in the end.... TOUGH!!!! I am just telling you that we all have something weird about us.... I think that's great that you're waiting. There are times I wish I had waited for the "right" person. But then again, I'm also grateful for the experiences and the lessons I have learned from those experiences. I suppose I need to find the person who loves the weird about me!
Karin2rinkashi Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 I think that's great that you're waiting. There are times I wish I had waited for the "right" person. But then again, I'm also grateful for the experiences and the lessons I have learned from those experiences. I suppose I need to find the person who loves the weird about me! What you said about "finding someone who will love the weird about me" I think i am starting to realize that NO ONE really loves anything about anyone..... as sad as it may sound... I think people just find compatibility.... how your WEIRD can fit into their WEIRD and somehow make it all NORMAL..... paradox! I think the only person who will ever love your WEIRD.... is YOU! or ME, for myself.... Whatever happened to the idea of love..... I don't even know if it really existed.... Hollywood got us both! :/
Author NoUsernameLeft1990 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Posted March 31, 2015 What you said about "finding someone who will love the weird about me" I think i am starting to realize that NO ONE really loves anything about anyone..... as sad as it may sound... I think people just find compatibility.... how your WEIRD can fit into their WEIRD and somehow make it all NORMAL..... paradox! I think the only person who will ever love your WEIRD.... is YOU! or ME, for myself.... Whatever happened to the idea of love..... I don't even know if it really existed.... Hollywood got us both! :/ It's all about finding 2 weird puzzle pieces that fit together! I never thought about it like that before. I definitely blame Hollywood for the ridiculous expectations of "love". It's not about kissing in the rain, but finding someone just as weird as you. And who is comfortable about being that way and accepts it.
Karin2rinkashi Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) It's all about finding 2 weird puzzle pieces that fit together! I never thought about it like that before. I definitely blame Hollywood for the ridiculous expectations of "love". It's not about kissing in the rain, but finding someone just as weird as you. And who is comfortable about being that way and accepts it. But it is not just hollywood. It is also the society we are living in.... No one fixes anything anymore.... scratched your cellphone? Get a new one... Fender bender? replace the car.... Laptop a little slow? There is the i7. Nothing wrong? To hell with it... still want to replace it because there is a new model out.... That mentality is now being projected onto more serious aspects of our lives.... Our own fault really.... people just aren't grateful anymore. Too many things taken for granted. Drive got too long? or calls got too short? Oh well, to hell with 1 year of investment, he was a jerk to me anyways. How about the guy next door? He is cute... He only sells drugs? It is OK!!! he is so close though. Edited March 31, 2015 by Karin2rinkashi
Author NoUsernameLeft1990 Posted April 1, 2015 Author Posted April 1, 2015 But it is not just hollywood. It is also the society we are living in.... No one fixes anything anymore.... scratched your cellphone? Get a new one... Fender bender? replace the car.... Laptop a little slow? There is the i7. Nothing wrong? To hell with it... still want to replace it because there is a new model out.... That mentality is now being projected onto more serious aspects of our lives.... Our own fault really.... people just aren't grateful anymore. Too many things taken for granted. Drive got too long? or calls got too short? Oh well, to hell with 1 year of investment, he was a jerk to me anyways. How about the guy next door? He is cute... He only sells drugs? It is OK!!! he is so close though. That's so true! People always want the newest of everything, no matter what they already have. I'm proud to say that I'm not like that in the slightest. I have an old laptop and an older iPhone. I like the saying 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it.' For a lot of people, if what they have isn't as good as what someone else has, they want an upgrade. Always comparing to other people too. Although I think we all do that, whether we want to or not.
No_Go Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Certainly not the only one. My first relationship was at 27. Did it feel like being too late? Yes. Do I regret it? No. I am actually quite happy with this decision (it was pretty much intentional, I was not even dating), because it gave me time to focus on other things. My first two relationships were pretty bad probably due to my lack of experience, but i guess it won't be any better if I was younger. So good luck with finding love, life is in front of you. I'm nearly 25 years old and I've never been in a serious relationship. I feel like life is passing me by and I'm left on the sidelines watching on my own! Am I the only one?
Author NoUsernameLeft1990 Posted April 1, 2015 Author Posted April 1, 2015 Certainly not the only one. My first relationship was at 27. Did it feel like being too late? Yes. Do I regret it? No. I am actually quite happy with this decision (it was pretty much intentional, I was not even dating), because it gave me time to focus on other things. My first two relationships were pretty bad probably due to my lack of experience, but i guess it won't be any better if I was younger. So good luck with finding love, life is in front of you. I suppose no matter how old you are, you're first relationship is bound to be a bit rocky. I'm sure all relationships, good or bad, help shape you as a person. Thanks, it's good to hear that life isn't just passing me by. 1
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