LooperDooper Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 (edited) Went out last night to celebrate a friend's birthday. My ex was present and drunk (as was I lol). But I completely ignored her the whole time and was a little down at times. She starts talking to my best friend and tells him that she finds misses them (my best friends also drove apart from her when we broke up), tells him she is very happy that I disappeared from her life because it was for the best for me, that she is in love with somebody else. Later on in the night she approaches me and tells me she will always love me and to be honest I didn't listen much but she kept saying stuff life that and then she ended with "I love you" before I walked away and continued hanging out with my friends. Nothing else happened last night, but if you've seen my previous posts I've been very well and happy. Today, I'm feeling like crap. I don't know if it's because she's courting somebody else, I don't know if it's because she decided to randomly say those things to me, regardless I'm in a sad mood, everybody tells me she isn't worth it because she tries to get with several people when she is drunk, but I can't help feel today crappy. I know she doesn't deserve me, several people made it clear yesterday. They are my friends, they respect me and so they feel a need to tell me that she tried to get with people but out of respect for me they rejected her, but obviously other people followed up. I don't even know what I'm saying. I need LS community today to give me strength please. I had been NC religiously for 3 weeks, but I can't stop going to my friends' parties just because she is going. I had a blast, albeit some sad moments, but today I'm very sad and I don't know why. I don't know what anything she said meant, to me or my best friend, I feel like I want her to reach out but I blocked her on everything yet I know she doesn't deserve me, I was way too good to her. Please help me get through the day. Edited March 28, 2015 by LooperDooper
NC-Thomas Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 (edited) She is acting in a jealous manner because she sees that you are a happy person. As a result she tries to undermine your happiness by telling your best friends hurtful things. All I can see is that she is being very manipulative in order to make you feel sad, and it worked. She probably had to even the score after seeing you being happy with your friend. She envied you at that moment and she acted in a very childish manner. Imagine this to be the road to inner happiness: You are here: ==========================================> YOU She is here: ==========> HER In the end you are being your happy self, you have the aura of positive emotions floating around you. Don't let anyone take that away from you. Pity her instead. Edited March 28, 2015 by NC-Thomas 4
ZiggyZoo Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 First off, sending you a great big hug. Running into the ex is never good, and having them act like yours did is even worse. I don't really have any words of wisdom except "I'm sorry as hell". I remember going to a show that my ex was at, about six months after he left me. He was there with the other woman, and I had to leave. I took about half an hour before I couldn't stand to see everyone act like it was fine. Not to put your friends down at all, but it stings seeing "your" people talking to her. They should be shunning her too, right? I know that isn't how it happens, but it hurts a bit all the same. And to have her hitting on other people? How desperate and transparent is that? Sad, really, that she has to lower herself to that level to get attention. I'd say to put her out of your mind, but I know that that's going to be darn near impossible, especially today. So just concentrate on staying NC, and maybe stay away from friends' parties for a bit yet. Is this upset worth it? Hang in there, we're here for you. 1
d0nnivain Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 You survived the encounter. that's huge. Good for you. Taking everything in the best light possible. She is a nice person who is glad you are well & wants the best for you. that's it though. Take a cue from her & find somebody else to love.
Cinnamonstix Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 First off, I think you handled yourself really well by not really engaging with her and continuing NC. You know you deserve better and it's true that you do. I'd use the thought of her pathetic attempts to get with other people as fuel to move on. You don't want someone like that. I mean, that would REALLY turn me off and REPULSE me if I heard that about an ex, But maybe that's because I'm not like that and don't date the playboy types.
Author LooperDooper Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 Thank you guys, after thinking about it throughout today, I've come to the conclusion this girl is just plain immature. I think she is in a state of mind where she has no idea what she wants and unfortunately she's bringing out a bad image of herself to other people, meanwhile I've been working on myself to feel better and distance myself from her, which I believe I have done very well. Unfortunately these things will happen, but I think she is trying to manipulate me and the situation. Her past relationships have basically been the ex in love with her and her ignoring them and sometimes talking to them. Maybe she thrives on the feeling that she rejects people and they suffer for her, but in this case I think she realized I'm not and won't be that person and she might've been trying to manipulate me. I'm very proud of myself to have reacted the way I did, I know 3 weeks ago I wouldn't have reacted the same. It gets better people, trust me, but I'm glad her immaturity and insecurity are coming out now so I realize I don't want this type of person in my life. Just needed to rant, thank you all, even though I'm still a little sad today hopefully it'll be short-lived. 3
youngpistol Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 I think your great man. Sounds like you skint the neighborhood cat. Do u really want to spend time and feelings with someone like that when you know its only gonna equal pain. You touched that stove top once and it burned you, why would you want to touch it again?
Author LooperDooper Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 Man do I ever love this site and this community. I honestly feel recharged every time I'm down because all of you make it easy to see things better. I regain my confidence and my self-esteem just from different people telling me something I already know deep deep inside. It's great to hear all of these encouraging words and feel like people do care and people do admire you. Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu all
xpaperxcutx Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Nobody should ever say that they were in love with someone else and also say they love you at the same time. You're right, she is immature. I hate dumpers who think that they can get away with their actions. Karma will be a b****. Glad you handled seeing her so well, it shows that you are slowly moving past the breakup and letting go of her.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Sounds like you handled that the best way possible. It sucks that you had a bad day after it, but you didn't get suckered into her game. Keep your head up!
Recommended Posts