Ordinaryday Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I have read quite a few posts about people breaking nc and usually they say that it gave them closure, cos their ex replied back in a courteous, short way and was polite to them while giving them no indication about wanting to reconcile. The people usually say it was nice to break nc and hear from the ex one last time. I can say one time I regret breaking nc. It was a girl I only casually dated for five dates and we kissed a few times, nothing serious though. At the end of date five she said to me that she wanted to see me again and she would be in touch. Stupid me, I believed her and after one week of nothing from her I, in denial, thought she must be real 'busy' so I sent her anice text asking her how she was and telling her a joke about a movie we spoke about on a date and asking when she wanted to catch up again. You know what I got in response? Nothing. No polite text back, no rude rejection text, no message saying I was a great guy but she didn't feel a spark, Nada. She completely ignored the text. I know she doesn't owe me a response but her ignoring me made me feel horrible, like I wasn't even worth the 1 minute it would take her to send me a 'hey, thanks for your msg, but I didn't feel a connection on our dates sorry. All the best with the future' response. I was not even worth that to her and I wish I never messaged her. Can anyone beat that?
Reality015 Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I have read quite a few posts about people breaking nc and usually they say that it gave them closure, cos their ex replied back in a courteous, short way and was polite to them while giving them no indication about wanting to reconcile. The people usually say it was nice to break nc and hear from the ex one last time. I can say one time I regret breaking nc. It was a girl I only casually dated for five dates and we kissed a few times, nothing serious though. At the end of date five she said to me that she wanted to see me again and she would be in touch. Stupid me, I believed her and after one week of nothing from her I, in denial, thought she must be real 'busy' so I sent her anice text asking her how she was and telling her a joke about a movie we spoke about on a date and asking when she wanted to catch up again. You know what I got in response? Nothing. No polite text back, no rude rejection text, no message saying I was a great guy but she didn't feel a spark, Nada. She completely ignored the text. I know she doesn't owe me a response but her ignoring me made me feel horrible, like I wasn't even worth the 1 minute it would take her to send me a 'hey, thanks for your msg, but I didn't feel a connection on our dates sorry. All the best with the future' response. I was not even worth that to her and I wish I never messaged her. Can anyone beat that? As annoying as that can be it really does not say much about this girls character. She has done you a favour. 2
marky00 Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I am thinking of breaking 40 days NC from a failed 10 yr realtionshiop. I am sure it will go horribly but w/e.
d0nnivain Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 NC is one tool. It is a not a be all end all panacea to heal every break up. You have to do what feels right to you. If you think reaching out one more time will help you, then on some level it will even if the other person doesn't respond. Most times it is more of a one step forward two steps back thing. It will set you back but then it may accelerate future healing. 1
erklat Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I don't think breaking NC brought anyone anything good. Ever. 1
Navajo46 Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I went through a breakup years ago and went NC right away. It was difficult. Got a "I miss you" message after over a month and I replied that I missed her too and then we ended up getting back together a few weeks later. But I did not initiate. That relationship lasted another excruciating 2 years and went down in FLAMES. This is not meant to give hope at all... it was a relationship that was doomed from the start. This time around, I reached out after a mutual breakup to arrange getting my things and let it slip that I missed her only to get "I don't want to hurt your feelings but I am seeing someone else"... this was after two weeks! It stung quick but helped me a little and quickly put me in the realization that things are OVER. Its still hard and I am going through my ups and downs etc... but I will NEVER reach out to her again EVER. Knowing she is in a new relationship sucks but I am not the type to interfere.
MLAZ1990 Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I didn't break NC, she did. And it was a horrible experience!!!!!
Shetland Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 GF broke NC, told me she was seeing someone already Did not feel good 1
Simon Phoenix Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I have read quite a few posts about people breaking nc and usually they say that it gave them closure, cos their ex replied back in a courteous, short way and was polite to them while giving them no indication about wanting to reconcile. The people usually say it was nice to break nc and hear from the ex one last time. I'm not sure where you read these posts, but I don't recall seeing very many of them at all, at least on this site. Most of the time breaking NC leads to confusion, despair, rehashing, steps back. 1
MLAZ1990 Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 GF broke NC, told me she was seeing someone already Did not feel good That's pretty much what I went through!
mightycpa Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I think the only real closure you get is when you don't give two ****s about your ex anymore. That's when YOU get to close the books. That's real closure. I don't think you get it from NC or constant contact. It's more about your attitude than anything else, and that comes from within. 1
Ruby65 Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I'm not sure where you read these posts, but I don't recall seeing very many of them at all, at least on this site. Most of the time breaking NC leads to confusion, despair, rehashing, steps back. Yeah, I've never seen any of these great happy ending closure type posts from breaking NC. In my own experience, I can tell you this: * I've never broken NC and NOT regretted it. * I've never stuck to NC and regretted it. * I've never broken NC and had an ex say "gee I'm so glad you contacted me because I really wanted to get back together but was just waiting for you to contact me first." Just saying.
Jessie1231 Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I broke NC with my last boyfriend and regret it to this day - it was just embarrassing. I waited a week after the break up then texted to see how he was. He called me back right away and I told him I would like to talk about things with us, he said that we could do it later that night or the next morning. The next morning came, and I hadn't heard from him so I sent him what I thought was this really sweet text explaining how I regretted our break up and wanted to try again, asked him to meet for lunch that day to talk about it. His response - "I feel like you're harassing me." So yeah, that felt like a kick in the stomach but pretty much guarantees I won't be breaking NC after any future relationships end.
Recommended Posts