BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 (edited) But it's fine for a woman to ask me WHERE I WORK right? lol Honestly, I highly doubt you ever (or would ever) worry about a woman finding out where you are so she can rape you or murder you. So, let's get real about that. To add: If you don't want to tell any woman where you work (or where you live, or where you play tennis, or where you eat, etc.), then DON'T tell her. It's like you're glossing over the main (and basically ONLY) reason that we, as women, are CAUTIOUS about any info that we give to a guy regarding our whereabouts or any other info that might clue him in to where we are. Men are STRANGERS to us, until we get to KNOW him and know him well enough to TRUST him. In case you haven't been keeping up with current events, most men can overpower women and some of them have actually kidnapped them, robbed them, raped them and murdered them while out on a date and when they stalked them to where they live or where they work. You hardly EVER hear of a woman doing this to a guy, although I'm sure somewhere on the planet this has probably happened to a handful of men. . Edited March 29, 2015 by BlackOpsZombieGirl 3
edgygirl Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 (edited) When I say I live in ___ (one of my boroughs), men many times want to know the specific neighborhood. I hate that! It always sounds to me that they are looking more into an arrangement that is convenient to them (is she geographically desirable, can I get sex on tap without commuting a few more subway stops) rather than finding the right person. Sincerely I hate when they insist to know the specific neighborhood I live in. It's none of their business yet. I also avoid saying my full first name and my profession, because then any guy can get my info by googling me. So many crazy stalkers out there, a gal has to be careful. That's what type of answer I am looking for, the section of the city not the block she lives on Edited March 29, 2015 by edgygirl 1
Author smg15 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 When I say I live in ___ (one of my boroughs), men many times want to know the specific neighborhood. I hate that! It always sounds to me that they are looking more into an arrangement that is convenient to them (is she geographically desirable, can I get sex on tap without commuting a few more subway stops) rather than finding the right person. Sincerely I hate when they insist to know the specific neighborhood. It's non of their business yet. I also hate to say my full first name and my profession, because then any guy can get my info by googling me. So many crazy stalkers out there, a gal has to be careful. Yeah if a guy ask a girl what part of the city she is from and she says HARLEM or Brooklyn, that's supposed to be it
Gary S Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 In online dating, I would wait awhile and save that question for the first phone call - it's a natural question to ask at that point when you are thinking of a convenient place to meet. That's part of what the first call is for, to set up a first meet. But if you ask that question a little too early, before she's comfortable with you, you might scare her off. 5
Buddhist Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 It's like you're glossing over the main (and basically ONLY) reason that we, as women, are CAUTIOUS about any info that we give to a guy regarding our whereabouts or any other info that might clue him in to where we are. Men are STRANGERS to us, until we get to KNOW him and know him well enough to TRUST him. . Yep, 10yrs chained up in a basement happens often enough to be a concern for most women. 2
Noproblem Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Why would I tell a stranger who is a possibly a serial killer about my location 2
dreamingoftigers Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Why would I tell a stranger who is a possibly a serial killer about my location Well, you don't want to risk that coffee date from OLD do you?
h0000 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 i have no problem telling people my suburb. i dont think they can find out my exact address from it...also i think people who think it's too dangerous to tell others their locations should just quit online dating altogether. why bother ?
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 i have no problem telling people my suburb. i dont think they can find out my exact address from it...also i think people who think it's too dangerous to tell others their locations should just quit online dating altogether. why bother ? Women don't have to "quit online dating altogether" just because they know it's very dangerous to give a man who is a complete stranger their location. Smart women do what gabillions of other women have done since dating began - and that's get to know the guy to see if he's trustworthy and to make sure he's normal and is an emotionally and mentally stable person BEFORE they give him any info as to where they live or where they work. You have no problem telling people your suburb? That's wonderful. However, that doesn't mean that every woman in this world should think exactly as you do and do what you'd do. And um, just so you know...you'd be damned surprised with today's technology just how easy it is for a person - any person - to find out your EXACT location from simple and basic information. . 2
Toodaloo Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 "So what part of town are you located in? They either ignore the question or change the subject. What do they think all men on the planet are stalkers? It's not like I ask what company she works or her address just what part of the city she is in and it seems to be a problem' Just can't figure out why. What is the big deal? Because men who do stalk are out there. Because women I have found get many a random person sending really weird messages. I can tell you now that having a stalker is absolutely no fun at all. Being threatened by assault, rape, beatings... having phone calls and them banging on your door, doing things to your car... all at any time of day or night. Well it tends to make one a bit nervous and a bit wary of meeting new people and having them know all about you in five seconds flat. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Meeting in person has nothing to do with where someone lives. Even just a general vicinity should remain private until she's met in person a few times and would be comfortable with a pick up at her place. 2
sweetjasmine Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 I am talking about if I meet her from craigslist Uhhh, even more reason for someone not to tell you where they live. How many stories have there been of people getting robbed, beaten, raped, or murdered by someone they connected with through craigslist? 3
kendahke Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Uhhh, even more reason for someone not to tell you where they live. How many stories have there been of people getting robbed, beaten, raped, or murdered by someone they connected with through craigslist? One pregnant woman in Michigan had her baby cut out of her when she went to answer a craigslist ad for baby clothes for sale. A mature couple was murdered when they went to go see about buying a car they saw listed on craigslist. It doesn't even have to be dating for one to be suspicious of online interactions, especially when it's on craigslist. I personally will not deal with anything from that site. I really don't need what they're offering.
Author smg15 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 Uhhh, even more reason for someone not to tell you where they live. How many stories have there been of people getting robbed, beaten, raped, or murdered by someone they connected with through craigslist? Well nothing ever happened to me and I been using craigslist since 2007 Maybe because I was not the one traveling and they came to me
sweetjasmine Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Well nothing ever happened to me and I been using craigslist since 2007 Good for you, I guess, but that doesn't have anything to do with other people on craigslist taking their safety more seriously than you do. 1
Author smg15 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 Good for you, I guess, but that doesn't have anything to do with other people on craigslist taking their safety more seriously than you do. Well I SCREEN people over the phone before I meet them so maybe that's why I never had a bad experience
Toodaloo Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Well I SCREEN people over the phone before I meet them so maybe that's why I never had a bad experience I have had 2 stalkers in my life. One was harmless and just a bit obsessed. The other was very dangerous. Both made me very uncomfortable. If I do not feel 110% safe and secure I am not handing out information. For what its worth I knew both stalkers for a long period of time before they started on. To give out your personal info is to invite trouble. Some can get away with it others not. 1
contact1 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Well I SCREEN people over the phone before I meet them so maybe that's why I never had a bad experience You mean just like how these women are screening you by not giving out too much information to a complete stranger? How interesting.... 2
Author smg15 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 You mean just like how these women are screening you by not giving out too much information to a complete stranger? How interesting.... All a woman needs to do is chat with me for 30 mins and she knows I am legit
fitnessfan365 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 All a woman needs to do is chat with me for 30 mins and she knows I am legit Dude the fact that you say "she just needs to chat for 30 mins" implies that is just the tip of the iceberg for you before you meet in person. Remember the whole point of dates is to get to know her IN PERSON. Don't spend so much time gabbing on the phone and texting all the time. Have a brief initial phone call to feel her out, and if you like her, make plans on the spot. Then just talk to her again in person. The reason why you probably get so nervous or feel uncomfortable on dates is because you build up all these expectations prior to meeting. 1
Author smg15 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 Dude the fact that you say "she just needs to chat for 30 mins" implies that is just the tip of the iceberg for you before you meet in person. Remember the whole point of dates is to get to know her IN PERSON. Don't spend so much time gabbing on the phone and texting all the time. Have a brief initial phone call to feel her out, and if you like her, make plans on the spot. Then just talk to her again in person. The reason why you probably get so nervous or feel uncomfortable on dates is because you build up all these expectations prior to meeting. Ok well I talked to this girl for 2 hours last night, it was our first conversation and I am interested. So the plan is to have ONE MORE phone conversation maybe on wednesday and then suggest meeting on Saturday. So I won't contact at all today, send a text tomorrow and call on wednesday
fitnessfan365 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Ok well I talked to this girl for 2 hours last night, it was our first conversation and I am interested. So the plan is to have ONE MORE phone conversation maybe on wednesday and then suggest meeting on Saturday. So I won't contact at all today, send a text tomorrow and call on wednesday A two hour phone call? Seriously?! Men should always act like a woman's lover and not one of her gal pals. A guy that's busy and successful with his life, women, etc is not going to have time to spend two hours on the phone. I know it seems counter-intuitive. But by making yourself so available and eager to talk, you're killing her attraction before it even has a chance to build. The phone is not supposed to be used to get to know a woman. It's for touching base and logistics. You call her, talk for 10-20 mins to get a basic sense, and ask when she's free. You make plans, and get to know her in person. All of this chatting before you even meet a woman is what's hurting you over and over and over again.
LifeandPerseverance Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 Yeah I wouldn't tell you what part of town I live in, either. Too many creepy guys out there. 1
Author smg15 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 A two hour phone call? Seriously?! Men should always act like a woman's lover and not one of her gal pals. A guy that's busy and successful with his life, women, etc is not going to have time to spend two hours on the phone. I know it seems counter-intuitive. But by making yourself so available and eager to talk, you're killing her attraction before it even has a chance to build. The phone is not supposed to be used to get to know a woman. It's for touching base and logistics. You call her, talk for 10-20 mins to get a basic sense, and ask when she's free. You make plans, and get to know her in person. All of this chatting before you even meet a woman is what's hurting you over and over and over again. Sometimes the phone chemistry just allows you to talk and you lose track of time. And she appears interested because she viewed my profile today when she woke up. And No one is ALWAYS BUSY and I refuse to be fake and pretend that I am
fitnessfan365 Posted March 29, 2015 Posted March 29, 2015 (edited) Plus SMG, maybe this will help you see the POV better. You've already done your due-dlligence with the emails online. So when a woman gives you her number, she is essentially saying "Get in touch to ask me out." There is nothing else left you have to do to prove yourself to her. So this need you feel to have a two hour call, followed by texts, and a second phone call, etc is a waste of time in all honesty. The fact that she gave you her number, means she ALREADY WANTS TO MEET YOU. Plus, what I said before still rings true about building expectations. Remember how you said "Our phone chemistry was so good, I thought for sure we'd hit it off in person". When you get too invested in a woman you've never even spent time with, this is what happens. A person will never live up to the expectations you create in your mind. So that's why you judge who a person is on who they are on the date when you interact with them. Edited March 29, 2015 by fitnessfan365
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