smg15 Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 (edited) "So what part of town are you located in? They either ignore the question or change the subject. What do they think all men on the planet are stalkers? It's not like I ask what company she works or her address just what part of the city she is in and it seems to be a problem' Just can't figure out why. What is the big deal? Edited March 28, 2015 by smg15 1
Satu Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 "So what part of town are you located in? They either ignore the question or change the subject. What do they think all men on the planet are stalkers? It's not like I ask what company she works or her address just what part of the city she is in and it seems to be a problem' Just can't figure out why. What is the big deal? Maybe they do this because some men are stalkers. You only need one to spoil things. 2
Author smg15 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 Maybe they do this because some men are stalkers. You only need one to spoil things. Well I like to ask because I have certain areas that is not an area I would date in so I ask the question
Satu Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 There's nothing wrong with asking, but you have no actual right to the information.
spiderowl Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I can see what you mean. Some guys ask that kind of question then try to home in, saying something like 'so is that on the XXX estate?' Safety is important when chatting online and it's the kind of question best avoided until you get a better idea of who you are talking to. 2
Author smg15 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 I don't know I would be annoyed if I hit it off with someone and she lives in a area I don't like. But I guess I will wait
spiderowl Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I don't know I would be annoyed if I hit it off with someone and she lives in a area I don't like. But I guess I will wait You mean you would turn down an interesting woman because she lived in the wrong part of town? 3
Author smg15 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 You mean you would turn down an interesting woman because she lived in the wrong part of town? If she lives too far maybe.
Buddhist Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 "So what part of town are you located in? Just can't figure out why. What is the big deal? No not all men are stalkers. But if you've been blessed with the woman suit for a body then you need to be more cautious than others because you are a target for the small number of psycho's who are out there. That's life. Enough men do stalk women, rob them, use dating as a way to take advantage so what looks like paranoia to you is just the normal level of precaution for a female. If I don't know you at all I'm not going to divulge any kind of personal information, even vague personal information over the internet. Why are you asking this question? You don't need to know this information. Or you could reframe the question to be less threatening such as.... So if you wanted to meet up where would be convenient to you? She doesn't have to tell you where she is, she can nominate a location of her choice. She might even nominate a location that's far from where she lives, but at least she doesn't have to tell you where she lives.
spiderowl Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 If she lives too far maybe. Well you can only learn from your experience online that it's not a question many women will answer until they know a guy fairly well. One of my friends has to go to court next month to be a witness in the case of a guy who has been stalking her for two years. Another friend has been house-hunting because she has to move before her ex gets out of jail. He used to torture her. While the majority of guys are decent and mean well, men are still physically stronger than women and therefore women have to take care. 2
Author smg15 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 No not all men are stalkers. But if you've been blessed with the woman suit for a body then you need to be more cautious than others because you are a target for the small number of psycho's who are out there. That's life. Enough men do stalk women, rob them, use dating as a way to take advantage so what looks like paranoia to you is just the normal level of precaution for a female. If I don't know you at all I'm not going to divulge any kind of personal information, even vague personal information over the internet. Why are you asking this question? You don't need to know this information. Or you could reframe the question to be less threatening such as.... So if you wanted to meet up where would be convenient to you? She doesn't have to tell you where she is, she can nominate a location of her choice. She might even nominate a location that's far from where she lives, but at least she doesn't have to tell you where she lives. Well dating apps reveal where a woman lives so what's the difference?
spiderowl Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 Well dating apps reveal where a woman lives so what's the difference? Either the women who use them don't know this is happening or they haven't thought of the risks involved. 1
Author smg15 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 Either the women who use them don't know this is happening or they haven't thought of the risks involved. I think it's the OKC app, it announces that you and your match lives in the same area
ExpatInItaly Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I think it's the OKC app, it announces that you and your match lives in the same area Then I'm guessing they don't understand why you're asking if you can already see you're in the same area? 1
Author smg15 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 Then I'm guessing they don't understand why you're asking if you can already see you're in the same area? I am talking about if I meet her from craigslist
BlueIvy Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 "So what part of town are you located in? They either ignore the question or change the subject. What do they think all men on the planet are stalkers? It's not like I ask what company she works or her address just what part of the city she is in and it seems to be a problem' Just can't figure out why. What is the big deal? I know for me, its because I don't know the guy so I am cautious about giving info. that might identify me. I can understand if he says do you live around this town, but what part of town is more specific. You can never be too cautious especially online. Online, anyone can be anyone.
Author smg15 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 You are a stranger on the internet. But it's fine for a woman to ask me WHERE I WORK right? lol
ExpatInItaly Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 But it's fine for a woman to ask me WHERE I WORK right? lol You're not obliged to answer that either. You asked why they won't tell you where they live. I don't know what to tell you, other than some people are not comfortable giving out personal info, particularly to men they've never met. If you don't think it's fair, then move along until you find someone willing to answer your questions. What's the issue here? 7
guest569 Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 But it's fine for a woman to ask me WHERE I WORK right? lol You can ask each other what you like. Its up to you whether or not you deem it appropriate.
d0nnivain Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 There are ways to answer those kinds of Qs vaguely without coming across as hiding something. But you do have to concede that especially before a 1st meet the two people are strangers & giving away too much is potentially dangerous. For example, if I was in NYC, I might say I live in the FlatIron section rather than saying I live on 22nd Street. The person who asked gets the gist but not the exact location. If asked where I work, I might say Big Pharma rather than the name of the company. 1
Otter2569 Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 I've been doing online dating for a while and have never asked a woman that. If I am familiar with the area she is from I ask if she been to..., or eaten at...., or I have been to... but I never ask anything specific to where they live. Recently I made a comment, thinking I was a wise ass, about me not being a stalker but if I was, i'd be an awesome one. The conversation ended right there. A woman previously made that exact comment to me and I thought it was great... Word to the wise - stay away from any stalkerish comments or activities!!! 4
Author smg15 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 There are ways to answer those kinds of Qs vaguely without coming across as hiding something. But you do have to concede that especially before a 1st meet the two people are strangers & giving away too much is potentially dangerous. For example, if I was in NYC, I might say I live in the FlatIron section rather than saying I live on 22nd Street. The person who asked gets the gist but not the exact location. If asked where I work, I might say Big Pharma rather than the name of the company. That's what type of answer I am looking for, the section of the city not the block she lives on
Author smg15 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Posted March 29, 2015 I've been doing online dating for a while and have never asked a woman that. If I am familiar with the area she is from I ask if she been to..., or eaten at...., or I have been to... but I never ask anything specific to where they live. Recently I made a comment, thinking I was a wise ass, about me not being a stalker but if I was, i'd be an awesome one. The conversation ended right there. A woman previously made that exact comment to me and I thought it was great... Word to the wise - stay away from any stalkerish comments or activities!!! How do you know what area she is from if she doesn't tell you? That is the question I am asking not her home address
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