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Passive aggresive and narcissistic...and codependency


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Posted

I've been very upfront and vocal about how I'm doing post breakup. It's been 3 months and I can say, it's gotten easier. I'm in therapy and taking medication because it got to a point where I was very low and couldn't really function. Therapy has a BIG help. Yesterday the therapist told me that my partner was passive aggresive, narcissistic, and codependent on me, a codependent. That's a new one for me. I did some research and it made perfect sense! It was like a weight was lifted from my chest and everything clicked.

 

My ex moved on after 12 years within a month. He has a new girlfriend that he already introduced to his mom. Mom is his counterpart. The apple didn't fall far from the tree I'd like to add. I wondered if he'd return because I truly loved him and I wanted him back so badly. There is love there for sure on my part, but not from him. He wished me good luck and happiness. It was a stab to the back. At this point I'm sure there is nothing holding him back from his new life.

 

I don't get him. He LOVED my family. He loved being at home with me and loved going out and doing things. I don't know if he met this girl and maybe felt that rush that he wasn't getting with me. I'm not sure and I won't know because even though I'm doing no contact, I really have no desire to see him or talk to him. I'm codependent. I truly am and I want to do everything in my power to move forward. I don't want to think about my ex or even cross his path. I just still have the same dang question that I've had since day one... Will he ever regret his actions and leaving me out of the blue?

 

He's not a terrible guy. I'm not trying to justify him. Not in the very least, but I can give credit where credit is due. I can't say he's a full on narcissist, but he definitely has a lot of the characteristics, but I enabled him. That's my fault. I miss him. I miss him everyday, but now I wonder if it's the codependency that won't let me move on.

 

Anyone's input is much appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Posted

You may want to read this.

 

The Dance Between Codependents & Narcissists | World of Psychology

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Posted

Thanks for the article. As I read it I recalled many events that have occurred in my relationship. That was us. He wasn't controlling and I won't dare say abusive, but he had MANY characteristics of a narcissistic individual. I'm definitely codependent and I never in my life want to fall down that path again.

 

Great recommendation!

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