zachsack Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 PLEASE. I KNOW ITS REALLY LONG, BUT I HAVE THIS PROBLEM THAT I DESPERATELY NEED HELP ON, AND KNOWING ALL THE DETAILS IS VERY VITAL. PLEASE, IF ANYONE WILL READ THIS POST, AND GIVE ME FEEDBACK, I WILL BE ETERNALLY GRATEFUL. I don't know how I feel. Honestly, I really don't know. My feelings for her has been in ups and downs and I really don't know what to do anymore. I still crush on her, but I feel its ready to stop and just move on. Or, maybe we could've been something, but I was too slow and too self-absorbed with my dreams that I simply didn't catch on. What I know: -I love her alooot. -I would do anything to be hers. -I dream everyday about what we could be, shes literally on of the first things that pops up when I wake up in the mornings. -Gives me so many hints, yet ignores me at times. -I am just too scared to talk to her anymore face to face, that used to be SO easy. But now with new classes, I just don't see her as often, and when I do, I just look in her eyes and she returns the gaze then we walk on. -I don't text her that much anymore. What I don't know and what I WANT to find out: -If she has the same feelings for me, shes given so many clues, agreeing to hang out, sending flirty emojis, ACTUALLY texting me and have me saved as a contact. -If I missed my chance with her or theres still time. -If there still is a chance, what should I do? Like any guy, my biggest fear is rejection from a female. -WHY THE HELL SHE IGNORES ME ONE MINUTE AND THEN ACT ALL FLIRTY THE NEXT. -What the hell does she think of me? A slow guy who just can't catch on to her feelings, or just some low idiot that won't leave her alone. -Am I losing my grip on her, my contact? Heres how it all started... In the beginning of the school year, I did not know her, she was a stranger to me, the most we ever talked was a greeting. As I got to know her friends I started to talk to her. And I don't know when, but somewhere along that line we clicked. One day, (at this point we still aren't "friends" but more than strangers.) during the weekend, I direct messaged her on IG (haven't gotten her number yet) and said Hey. She replies "where are you?" and I was like "wtf". Then I asked her if she wanted to hang out, and to my suprise she said "yes!" and told me she was "home alone and bored". She was also waiting for a friend to come over, so I suggest we could all hang out. Afterwards, I gave her my number and told her I'll be waiting outside and text me when she was ready. This whole conversation showed that she did want to become more than a stranger to me, and we could become friends. Around 10 minutes later, I was at her driveway (she lived right down the street) and she came out. (I didn't knock) and she said her greetings. Then I asked her where we could go, and she said wherever I wanted. I was thinking maybe the park or somewhere where we could chill and she said it sounded good. But, she had to wait for her friend to come over (who ended up not coming). So, I told her I'll go on ahead and we could meet up later. So I left, about 30 minutes later, she still hasn't shown up at our meeting spot, so I texted her and she told me her friend hasn't come over yet. So I was like ok, I waited alittle longer and then I just dropped it, thinking she was messing with me the whole time. So, when we went back to school, I saw her but never asked why she never came. Then I saw her friend that was supposed to come over and I asked her if she was at her house that day. Her friend told me that she invited her and told her that I was there, but she was never able to come. So, I just left it at that. After giving it some thought, I just left it to two results: 1) She just completely messed with my mind and never intended to hang out. 2) Her parents came home and she couldn't leave. Since, she told me she was "home alone". To this day, about 5 months later, I still regret not asking her the reason she never came. After that, I never actually asked again to try to hang out, but I talked to her more and more at school. This one time (probably thinking too far) I went to the media center and she wanted to follow. Could be a coincidence but who knows? Anyway, I talked to her more and more. This one day, I asked her for help on homework over text and she helped me. (she didn't know either and actually went to ask her friend and then told me) and when I said thanks. She sent a whole bunch of flirty emojis and a "YOUR WELCOME". That was a bit odd. Over winterbreak, when I text her first she would now reply with "hey *name*". Instead of "hey" or whatever one lettered text to start off. Also, maybe not something to get worked up over, but when I texted her Merry Christmas she replied "you too" with two heart emojis. Like I said, nothing to work up about but its these little things that tell you more. It was also this time when she asked me "why do you seem like your mad at me". This is not the first time, whenever I get frustrated at her, she always suprised and sensitive about it, like she didn't expect or want me to be mad or upset at her. But after that, I stopped texting her alittle and she started ignoring me a bit. After winter-break we saw each other less and less due to exams. But when the second semester started, we just stop talking for long periods of time. Until one night, she called me, it was like out of the blue, and she asked me for to give advice to her friend that was having trouble with a guy. And since I was a guy, maybe I could help. Being suprised, I didn't really give good advice, so when I hanged up, I texted her actual advice and she said thanks. (I, posted this and everyone said it was a sure sign of interest, since I had no idea who her the guy her friend was having trouble with was) . Then, a couple of days later, she called me again, but this time I didn't answer since I was in bed, so when I woke up, I tried to ring her back, once, twice. And even texted her. But throughout a period of 4 days. She comepletely IGNORED me. So on the 5th day. I spoke my truth and asked her why she acted the ways she did. Heres how it went from how I recall: Me: Your so hard to read sometimes, why do you do that? (Almost instantly) Her: What??? Me: You called me 4 days ago. What did you need? Her: I forgot! Me: And you didn't bother calling back, or texting back? Her: honestly i didnt see the texts till now, i was busy sledding. (I know this is not true because I saw her activity on Instagram but didn't want to say anything) Then she sends me this link to a iTunes giveaway... Her: (Link) Her: please click! Me: *her name*... Her: whut? Me: A iTunes giveaway? Really? You can't possibly believe those. (For the next few minutes she ignores me) Me: You know thats my pet peeve. (Instantly) Her: What? Me: To be called into something then pushed out. Like someone saying "hey, guess what?" then "nevermind!". Me: You know what? I'm done prying for info. Her: I forgot why I callers! (she meant to put "called" but made a typo) Her: why are you being so mean (here it goes again, like shes so sensitive about me being upset to her.) Me: Look, I'm sorry, but I don't think a iTunes giveaway is why you called. Her: I didn't need anything. I just called. Me: Your voice sounded like you needed something (When she left a voicemail, she didn't realize it was on, so she just said "hello?", "(my name)", and "hello" like 6 more times. Her tone sounded pretty stern and needy, not "I didn't need anything".) Her: dude, what voice? Her: see you dont answer *laughing emoji* x2 (At this point, I went to bed.) (Next morning) Me: I went to bed, your voice sounded like really stern. Me: Look, honestly, I just don't think a iTunes giveaway is the reason you called. Me: If you really don't want to tell me, I'll just stop prying. Her: sorry Me: Im sorry too, its just so annoying, After that, we ceased to talk except once or twice, this was about less than a month ago. Now, we seem cool, even though we talk even less. I saw her in the hallway and we just said hey. -I really want to talk to her face to face and ask her how she feels, or maybe her best friend. But, I feared being rejected even more and even laughed at. -I want to ask her face to face what she wanted that night, but then maybe she'll think I'm so stupid and I'm still wondering about a incident from 3 weeks ago. Maybe she forgot by this point. -Most of all. I want to tell her how I feel, or anyone. But I don't trust any of my friends on that level. I want to tell her myself. But, if I get rejected, not only will she look down on me, so will her friends. They will all think of me as "some-wanabe-who thinks he can get her". But I know she's not that kind of person and probably won't allow that. but rejection is still a big fear. The thing I want to know is, is it too late? Should I still try, or give up and just try to remain friends. But, thats hard, because alittle bit of me keeps telling me shes interested and shes just waiting for my move. If she isn't. I'll be ready to move on. Also, IF by any chance I still have an oppurtunity, how should I approach it? What should I do?
darkmoon Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 (edited) all you can do is be friendly, see how she responds, friendly or in pursuit, both are similar, she is quite young, prolly wholesome just keep your interactions in the now, do not discuss that convo, truly it looks too involved too much like an allusion to something of a relic of the past that you cling to just be nice to all of her friends and her too, the gentlemanly role gets approval, hanging for one girl is not nearly so subtle and until you and her get chatting with ease, the guy who is all-round nice, you, will always be well-thought of as you go to classes Edited March 27, 2015 by darkmoon
preraph Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Look, you're wanting her to spill her guts to a guy she's never even been out on a date with! And the one time you got together, you walked off and then got sulled up. Just because she had to wait for a friend, why would you leave because of that. You could have spent that time sitting on her couch or whatever. But no, you took flight, and she probably decided that was you rejecting her or not wanting to go if the friend came along or something. You still don't really know each other at all. It doesn't sound like your personal styles match up very well since you get irritated with her so easily. She has interest or she wouldn't be bothering at all with you, but you're being a coward and hoping you don't have to stick your neck out and that she'll just burst like a pimple one day and say "I love you, I love you," even though she's never been out with you and you've flaked out on her the one time you did get together. If you want to go out with her and find out if you two are even compatible, which I'm doubting at this point, then ask her on a real date at least 2 days ahead of time, pick her up, and take her to dinner or a movie or whatever. Dating isn't about trying to figure out if someone pre-likes you. It's about getting to know a person and then deciding if you like them or not.
Author zachsack Posted March 27, 2015 Author Posted March 27, 2015 Look, you're wanting her to spill her guts to a guy she's never even been out on a date with! And the one time you got together, you walked off and then got sulled up. Just because she had to wait for a friend, why would you leave because of that. You could have spent that time sitting on her couch or whatever. But no, you took flight, and she probably decided that was you rejecting her or not wanting to go if the friend came along or something. You still don't really know each other at all. It doesn't sound like your personal styles match up very well since you get irritated with her so easily. She has interest or she wouldn't be bothering at all with you, but you're being a coward and hoping you don't have to stick your neck out and that she'll just burst like a pimple one day and say "I love you, I love you," even though she's never been out with you and you've flaked out on her the one time you did get together. If you want to go out with her and find out if you two are even compatible, which I'm doubting at this point, then ask her on a real date at least 2 days ahead of time, pick her up, and take her to dinner or a movie or whatever. Dating isn't about trying to figure out if someone pre-likes you. It's about getting to know a person and then deciding if you like them or not. Problem with me sitting there is, one, her family does not know me. What would it look like if her mom came home and sees my sitting in her house, with her daughter home alone. Two, we weren't actually "friends" at that point. I was trying to progress myself farther in, and seeing if she wants to too. But your right, I am hoping too much that she'll come through and spill; her feelings to me. But, there isn't much I can do on my side either, there is no way I can take her to dinner, maybe some lunch at McDonald's down the street. The movie thing might not work out unless I can do it without my parents or everyone snooping around. I'm not even sure if I can work myself to that level. I think the best I could do is ask her to hang out at the park and maybe go out and buy her lunch or something.
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