Cheerbabe93 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I've been dating someone for about 4 months now and I've fallen really hard for him. We spend a lot of time together and always have a good time. We did have some fights before but that's normal in a relationship. My problem is that every time I tell him how much he means to me and how I wish this will work out he tells me "actions over words" I didn't say "I love you" yet because I honestly don't know how to since I feel like he would just give me the same reply. So my question is how can I show him that I do love him? We don't live together so that might make it a little harder. I really need some advice here cause I'm lost and it's starting to frustrate me a little that he won't believe my words.
Gaeta Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 We did have some fights before but that's normal in a relationship. Not really. I don't think at 4 months dating it's normal to have fights. What are those fights about? My problem is that every time I tell him how much he means to me and how I wish this will work out he tells me "actions over words" How arrogant and patronizing of him. You make an efforts to express with words how you appreciate him and he dismisses your gesture of love. If I expressed feelings with words and it'd be discarded this way I would be hurt and I would make sure he knows it. Next time ask him what exactly he means by 'actions over words' you are not a mind reader. I didn't say "I love you" yet because I honestly don't know how to since I feel like he would just give me the same reply. Don't tell him. He will dismiss it and hurt you a great deal. So my question is how can I show him that I do love him? We don't live together so that might make it a little harder. I really need some advice here cause I'm lost and it's starting to frustrate me a little that he won't believe my words. We have no way to know, we are not him. Ask him, it's called communication 1
elaine567 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Last we heard that after having sex with you, he was spending all night on his phone chasing other women, has he stopped doing that?
preraph Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 He sounds like a jerk. And I'm 100 percent certain "actions not words" means sexually. Look, you're saying nice things to him and he's acting like a jerk in return, so why should you be busting your ass figuring out how to please him? 4
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 Last we heard that after having sex with you, he was spending all night on his phone chasing other women, has he stopped doing that? Yes that has stopped. We recently went on a little coffee date (we do that a lot) and when I got there he was on his phone but he apologized and put it away. So yea things have been going better
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 He sounds like a jerk. And I'm 100 percent certain "actions not words" means sexually. Look, you're saying nice things to him and he's acting like a jerk in return, so why should you be busting your ass figuring out how to please him? No this isn't about sex
katiegrl Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 No this isn't about sex ^^So you "have" actually discussed this with him? Then why are you here asking us?
Author Cheerbabe93 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 ^^So you "have" actually discussed this with him? Then why are you here asking us? No I haven't but it's clearly not about sex cause we have sex but he still tells me that my actions will show if I love him.
d0nnivain Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 The little things -- the gestures -- do add up. Are you kind to each other? Do you give compliments? Do you pay attention & are you genuinely interested when the other person talks? Are you willing to do something just because the other one wants to even though you have very little interest? For example, I would go fishing all the time with an EX even though it wasn't my thing; DH comes to the beach with me a few times per year even though he doesn't like sand. This works both ways. Is he showing you the same level of kindness and respect? The fact that you think it's harder to do this because after a mere 120 days of knowing somebody you aren't living together especially when you aren't even saying I love you & meaning it tells me you have difficulty distinguishing sex from love.
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