SarahParker Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 He is my brother's friend for many years and I've known him for 10 years. Since I was 18, we went to college together. I never payed much attention about dating him, flirting with him, but I've always liked him. We always hanged out at parties and talked only with each other for hours when we used to met throught my brother or our mutual friends. He never asked me out on a date to hang out alone with me until the 2 months ago. We always used to catch up at our mutual friends gatherings. Nothing happened on that date, we had a drink and had a friendly talk like we always do. Then the texting started between us, he always initiated it. We started to flirt on Viber. He is a shy guy and reserved one. I don't know what happened but we were having jokes like we always do, I've teased him couple of time to send me his nude photo. Guess what I've got it! I told him he looks hot. He din't asked me for a one back. LOL. But I suprised him with sophisticated dress clevage a couple of days later. So we have really strong sexual attraction for each other, which I knew long time before... He asked me out again on our 2nd date. It was a bit akward. I was a bit shy and I didn't flirt with him at all. I think I've blew it then. I was a bit too cold with my poker face because I was confused. He drived me home, nothing happened. No kiss, no touched, nothing! I didn't show any sign of affection. Thats me when I realise I like someone really much, LOL. 3rd date didn't happen for a month and a half now. I texted him, asked him out. He was busy!! I texted him again a week later asking how he was. He said we could meet that weekend, that he'll let me know. He didn't!!! I had a talk with my brother and he told me he is really a closed person and the shy one. Since he was not some random dude. I decided I'll text him. So we chatted like that about a TV show we both watch and NBA. I didn't ask him out or anything. A day later I re-read my texts... and realized I was acting like a dude with him, not like a girl who likes him. I was acting like a sports fanatic child, not like a woman who likes a guy. Like he is soooo friendzoned! It's really hard to switch from a friend mode to a seductive mode with some you've known for a decade. Our relationship now changed, so I was a bit stupid and I decided to go all in with him and act mature, not like we are 13 and like it's a men friendship between us. I texted him a day later saying this: 'So.....when are you free to hang out? If you want to, if not we don't have to, not a big deal. I just like you and no one knows about and I wanted to share my secret with you.' I gave him a way out to blow me off, but he didn't...so it means that he is into me? He didn't reply for a day and a half. Then he told me he had some minor accident and that he has no car and that he is busy with his work the whole week. I texted a day later: It's ok and that I hope his car is fine. He said yadda, yadda, yadda.... it's at the mechanics, it will be done the next week. I said the next day when I woke up: That's awesome, so it's nothing serious. He said: yadda, yadda, yadda....but I need to wait for a few days Does this mean that he is into me, but has no luck? Am I blind? Opinions? He emphasized on every text he sent me that it will take a couple of days. That tells me that he really wants to meet me and that he likes me too, but **** happens. Otherwise he'd left it on a first text he wouldn't text me three times in a row with the ending that it takes a couple of days to fix it. What am I supposed to do when his car gets back on track and we meet? I was always relaxed with him, but since I realized I really liked and now that I've told him how I felt. What am I supposed to do? Tell him also to his face or should I wait for him to take the initiative?
elliecoffee Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I friend told me better to start something with someone when you recognize the fire between you rather than to try something when that flame is gone. Maaaybe that's what happened. He was (or maybe still is) into you, then the dating happened, the naked pic and the very next day a poker face. Maybe he felt it was awkward, maybe he felt he blew it AND he exposed himself. He made a fool of himself, or so he believes IMO. Don't be too hard on yourself, I understand what is like to have (and be -_-) a poker face when you like someone My advice would be, ask your brother for help, I don't know, going to the movies or something and then take your chances to talk to him and just be yourself: play, laugh, joke, leave a door open, let him know is ok to come closer if he's that shy and reserved.
Author SarahParker Posted March 27, 2015 Author Posted March 27, 2015 You can see by the way I've written my thread that I am confused, excited and acting a bit childish. I am 30 year old woman, experienced with dating, flirting with men. Now...I am just a child with this guy I've known for 10 years, with someone I hanged out for 1000 times, with who I talked, texted before 1000 times. It's just that I've realized I like him and my behaviour changed. I feel shy, I can't talk near him, I can't flirt. I act stupid, I talk stupid, I do wierd things around him. I text him stupid texts. I believe I confused him too and that he blew me off for a month because he didn't think I like him at all since I acted like a child. I know we will go on a date. But how am I suposed to behave? Be direct and by some point tell him that I meant what I said and what does he thinks about that? I am nervous and impatient. I can not relax for the first time in my life.
elliecoffee Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 !!! Yeah you right I completely let that part out ! Sorry my bad ! Then go talk to him, he's your friend And when you guys are on your date, just have fun and be yourself. Whether to be direct or not, trust your gut, after all you know this guy.
Author SarahParker Posted March 27, 2015 Author Posted March 27, 2015 (edited) I might know this guy, but I don't know him enough. At first I told my brother to help me out LOL. Then I decided not to do it. My brother told me he is ignoring him, telling him that he has a crazy rush at his job and stuff. But my brother told me that he is ignoring him also probably because he feels akward about me. What confuses me the most is this: 1. He said he was busy, he said he will call, he said we will meet and we didn't for a month and a half. 2. If i didn't text him last 4 times first, he wouldn't probably talk to me at all. 3. His car issues are real. But bloody hell! If a girl tells you she likes you and sends you a casual IM with the way out. You ignore the context of the message and tell her about the reasons why you can't meet, aplogizing 3 times in a row mentioning next week and bloody slow mechanics. He is acting strange. Because untill I texted him that I like him. He acted uniterested by being busy, not initiating things for a month. Then all of the sudden he seems pretty anxious about seeing me and frustarated with his accident. He is wierd, I am wierd. We are both wierd. But he needs to man up or I'll do it Sometimes I think he is into me, sometimes not at all. But he is always so reserved and short with his texts. Before he sent me his pic, he said that I am joking too much and not acting serious. What the hell? Maybe he thinks I am joking with my text about liking him too. I feel like in highschool. Awesome!!! Edited March 27, 2015 by SarahParker
Author SarahParker Posted March 30, 2015 Author Posted March 30, 2015 Maybe he is I texted him on saturday what does he thinks about me liking him? He didn't reply at all Give me a break... I mean I am giving him a chance to blow me off, to say something and he is making me feel stupid acting like this. I am not some random chick I am his friend's sister. At least he could reply something, anything even reject me. Tell me that it doesn't make any sense texting about this stuff. Ask me if I was drunk because I sent him that at 2 am. Ask me if I am sure about it? Reject me, give me some clues. Or say 'I have no comment about this' Instead he is just quite, he is always quite but he is attracted to me. Why is he so gay, seriously? You don't like someone, then tell them when you have chance to. Ignoring someone you know for a long time and someone who is nice to you and you are nice to them is seriously rude. Why is he acting like this and he is not an *******
Gary S Posted March 30, 2015 Posted March 30, 2015 I hate to say this, but there are a lot of problems with this. 1) it sounds like you have him in the freindszone already. You may be waffling back and forth between feelings of friends and lovers, but when you are doing that, it means you are just friends. 2) It's been 1.5 months since your last date, that's way too long... it kills momentum. It's gonna be like you are on date one or two all over again the next time you go out, the relationship is not escalating. It's better if you have at least one date a week. Nevertheless, I hope it works out for you.
darkmoon Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 you flirted and dated a bit, no more or less, you like him a lot and i think you harbour hopes of a big relationship, but you can not force it into being if he is not ready bide your time, stop talking to your brother, he might even have divided loyalties and relay back to the guy that you are crazy about him, men run off from this big opener, either way, you have done all you can with this guy, now wait and see you seem to have your heart set on him, a big crush
Author SarahParker Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 I hate to say this, but there are a lot of problems with this. 1) it sounds like you have him in the freindszone already. You may be waffling back and forth between feelings of friends and lovers, but when you are doing that, it means you are just friends. 2) It's been 1.5 months since your last date, that's way too long... it kills momentum. It's gonna be like you are on date one or two all over again the next time you go out, the relationship is not escalating. It's better if you have at least one date a week. Nevertheless, I hope it works out for you. Yes there are problems.. 1) I always had a feeling that he was into me more then being friendly. Actually I think he invited me out by acting more then friendly, I wasn't back then. He sent me his sexy pics, so I flirted with him. I think it's getting out of a friendzone ticket. Then he backed off. I'd understand all of this if I was the one who was being pushy or something since the begining but I wasn't. 2) I understand what you are saying and you are right. you flirted and dated a bit, no more or less, you like him a lot and i think you harbour hopes of a big relationship, but you can not force it into being if he is not ready bide your time, stop talking to your brother, he might even have divided loyalties and relay back to the guy that you are crazy about him, men run off from this big opener, either way, you have done all you can with this guy, now wait and see you seem to have your heart set on him, a big crush I just liked him. I told him that I just like him and that I want to see him. My point is that this guy didn't reply to my last text about me asking him what does he thinks about me liking him. What would be fair of him is that he should of have at least say something. Because I am his friend of 10 years, I am not someone he doesn't know at all, some stranger. He is my brother's friend and he should at least tell me in a nice way that he doesn't want to meet me or that he is not into me, be honest! I don't know if I am living in denial or something, but I think he is not being respectful to me at all. If you ask you best friend's sister out on a few dates, flirt with her and text her your sexy pics it means that you like her. Period! We've been known each other for ages, so he does knows a lot about me and my character, I am not some stranger. So it means that if he did all of the stuff above that he likes me as a person as well. Conclusion about this mess is that if a person you've known shocks you and tells you that she likes you and ask you what do you think about it...that you should at least be compassionate and handle this situation by confronting it. Talking to someone eye to eye. Or at least text something and be a man and blow her off. He doesn't respect my feelings at all and I am offended by this behavior. Even if he asks me out in a week or two, maybe in 3 months. I will ignore him also because his attitude about this is really cold and he is acting like an *******. I can understand when people shock you and act a bit lunatic from time to time, but he knows I am like this. I can understand that he got confused probably when I was direct. But ignoring me is not something you do to someone who is you best friend's sister. Then don't act like a dick and do something about it. Talk to the other person and tell her you want to be her friend, nothing more. I think I deserved some respect. What will happen next is that he will ignore me and the out of the blue he will ask me out or I'll bump into him, but my problem is that since he doesn't show any respect for me or my feelings at least asking himself. Okay she likes me and I am quite, she could think I am an idiot, so let fix this to be just friend. He doesn't do anything. What will happen is that he is loosing my respect and when someone is loosing my respect I am not nice to them. I can say hi to them, but I won't aproach them or have a friendly conversation like we did before. Understand? It's not on purpose it's how I function towards people who were selfish and disrespectfull. I ignore them and don't want to have anything with them. So he will from a friend become just acquaintance.
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