I hate him

[Emma1234]

I hate him

For everything he did

for being narcissistic, cruel and selfish

for thinking it was ok do treat me like that

to think it was ok to be like that to another human being

for probably never realising why it was all so bad or having to feel remorse

for hurting me

for making me hate me

for crushing my self esteem

for not caring after caring so much

for him being so unfair

just for everything

 

he was genuinely one of those ones, not the ex that ended things because he didn't feel the same or something changed etc.

 

but one of those twisted people who just hurts you and is a horrible person inside and out (now seeing him for who he really is)

 

how dare he

and why

[WhiteKnighter]

Could you at least share some actual details on what happened?

[goldway90]

Oh such an anger, how do you feel after venting? it feels good to let it out right!

Now whatever he did, it wasn't your fault, you didn't deserve that if fact you are worth it, no matter what he told you, all that was wrong. You'll do it and move on from this, deep down you have that strength to bounce back and i'm sure you're going to dig deep and take control of your life. I wish the best of luck

[hollypolly]

I know its hard when the person you loved and trusted hurt you. Im going through a difficult break-up myself. Just try to keep your head up and time will heal all. Try to look after yourself. Maintain your dignity and keep no contact no matter what. Deativate social media for a while as it only stands to add to your pain. Nobody needs to see happy pictures of the ex as they seemingly sail through the loss of a relationship. Unfortunatly we learn alot about a person at the end of a relationship that we didnt see during it. I firmly believe there is someone for everyone. Give yourself time to heal and dont try to replace one love with a new one until your heart has healed.

[Emma1234]

Could you at least share some actual details on what happened?

 

This was post from when the actual break up happened:

But there was constant events happening like this through the entire time, this is just an example of what he could be like:

He left me to go back to his ex who I had suspicions about that he denied:

 

Thank you everyone, I told him everything and he just sat there are said you're right. Then he spent about 4 hours shouting in my face, saying things like she's prettier than you, then taking it back and saying he said that to 'shut me up', he messaged her in front of me saying his great she was and better than me bearing my mind I was in floods of tears, he just didn't care. The way he spoke to me!

 

He wants what he can't have, always has, always will. I blocked him from everything and I will never look back now, he has serious problems, two weeks ago he was telling he'd do anything for me, that he wishes I understand how much I mean to him, gawddddd he even started randomly crying one day at the thought of not seeing me again. I can't have someone that toxic in my life, I'm not going to pity myself, I'll move on, travel, make my own life without him.

 

On my plane home I was upset and there was a 24 year old lady sat next to me, that lady got me chocolate and tissues and sat and spoke to me the entire 3 hour plane journey, giving me her own experiences, her own advice, just amazing stuff. She changed my mindset completely, without her I would not be feeling like this, it's people like that who I want to be around, not selfish people who only care about themselves.

[Emma1234]

Oh such an anger, how do you feel after venting? it feels good to let it out right!

Now whatever he did, it wasn't your fault, you didn't deserve that if fact you are worth it, no matter what he told you, all that was wrong. You'll do it and move on from this, deep down you have that strength to bounce back and i'm sure you're going to dig deep and take control of your life. I wish the best of luck

 

I suppose I'm halfway between feeling angry and feeling sad, I have been diagnosed with moderate to severe depression though so it's hard to differentiate my feelings between this event and the other side of things.

 

Thank you, I need to find my self worth again, I used to have it but it has dropped now. And that means a lot, I know it's going to take a lot of personal strength, sometimes I just don't feel like I have it though.

[Emma1234]

I know its hard when the person you loved and trusted hurt you. Im going through a difficult break-up myself. Just try to keep your head up and time will heal all. Try to look after yourself. Maintain your dignity and keep no contact no matter what. Deativate social media for a while as it only stands to add to your pain. Nobody needs to see happy pictures of the ex as they seemingly sail through the loss of a relationship. Unfortunatly we learn alot about a person at the end of a relationship that we didnt see during it. I firmly believe there is someone for everyone. Give yourself time to heal and dont try to replace one love with a new one until your heart has healed.

 

 

Thank you for your reply. I haven't spoken to him etc. since the break up, he is not on any of my social medias anymore. I've heard the odd thing from friends but nothing significant. I don't know if she has taken him back, chances are she will eventually though, not that it matters. He doesn't know how to make himself happy let alone anyone else and that's not my fault.

 

I certainly plan to stay single for a while now, I need to sort out my personal issues first, focus on my career etc. without having someone in the way. I also need to work on trusting people again because after this it's going to be hard.

[Emma1234]

It has been 2 months since my break up. Last time things ended I was coping fine with things by this point. I was moving on, I was happy, I was positive for my future.

 

This time, although I have been diagnosed with severe depression and so that will probably be affecting me too, I just can't seem to get past it.

 

Even though he was terrible to me and treated me like crap and just shouldn't be missed (I will never ever take him back again), I just still feel low about it.

 

I am currently about to finish my degree and so there is a lot of pressure on that. When I have finished I get to move away from all the memories and hopefully the future will feel more positive. But at the moment it is so hard.

 

I keep reminding myself that people always get through break ups, but this feels like more than a break up, it just feels like my life is never going to be happy again. I'm hoping that that is just the depression talking.

 

Does anyone have any advice? I don't want to be stuck missing the good times from someone so cruel, months or years after we have broken up. He isn't worth any of this.

[Moley87]

Hi Emma sorry to hear and I'm currently 7 weeks into mine as well

 

I'm finding this site a huge way to understand what is happening and does help me.

 

I have for weeks been looking at sites finding answers but to be honest you'll go round in circles the answer you need is you and only you.

 

We can't control life but we can control how emotion if we give it time

 

Look at your ex why did it not work what reasons actions caused the break ? Can things ever now be the same , personally my breakup was due to ex choosing oz without me being part of it so I don't hate her i cannot hate someone I love but I don't have to now worry about her decision it's now my decision how I move on and love .

 

I finally accept what she wants to do I'll be amicable with her but now it's me time I've booked Vegas and go in 4 weeks distance will heal and time will heal forget the pain take it day by day and focus on finding what makes u happy

 

Ex is an ex for a million reason just remember its not about the ex now it's about you and you only !