Auspecial Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I embarked on a dating relationship with someone about 6 months ago. My guard was up because he is in the process of divorce, but not yet divorced. He will be divorced in three months. He is 10 years older which is not a big deal to me at all. I showed a few friends a pic of us together at a large event. My friend actually gasped and asked how old is he?! I told her, just 10 years older, and she said "yeah but he looks much older and you look much younger." I haven't really thought about it. He is attractive to me, and of course what my friends think doesn't necessarily affect my dating choices, as I am a grown woman. However, that fact has its given me pause in light of what turned out that he didn't respect my lack of prestigious career. I posted about him awhile back and got some really fabulous advise from many people. Essentially I stopped dating him and lost interest in him romantically, because he not only doesn't fully respect me, he has also been verbal about that to me, so he either doesn't have a clue that its offensive, or he doesn't care. However (again,) I haven't met anyone else I am interested in (so far.) So I do respond to texts and emails. Out of boredom I guess. He has actually come over to my place a few times, b/c he is stressed out with things in his life. There is nothing more than cuddling. Overall I think he is a good guy but has hang-ups about prestige. He has been straightforward about the fact that he isn't sorted out in what he wants (divorce,) which I knew from the start and that's why I don't date separated men. I looked up his OLD profile and he has that he wants a woman who makes $75-150,000/yr. He has also made mention that he thinks I look better than he, again made me feel a little ? as I wasn't seeing him as unattractive. So, I joked with him that if he thinks I look so much better than he does, then is he viewing me as some type of escort?? This was a total joke on my part, because: 1. I'm not 2. No more sx is going on 3. He buys dinner, drinks but its not lavish. To my question, he responded that he enjoys being seen with me but again stated he isn't sorted out re: women, etc. Now, he is burning up my phone with texts and emails trying to get together this weekend. I'm tired of him trying to get together when its clear that neither of us thinks it is going anywhere. Do you think I need to give the boot completely, and suck it up when I am bored, or is there another way I could be looking at this?
badpenny Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Ugh. Drama. Give it the boot. I can't even be asked to go through your post piecemeal and pick up the salient points. It sound as if you are both looking at each other as 'this will do until someone better comes along'. Talk about jaded and tired. Move on.... 1
ExpatInItaly Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Give it the boot. He is using you for companionship when he is bored and wants attention. He bluntly told you he's "not sorted" so why continue this? Waste of time, imo. You deserve someone who respects you and sees a future with you. 1
Redhead14 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I embarked on a dating relationship with someone about 6 months ago. My guard was up because he is in the process of divorce, but not yet divorced. He will be divorced in three months. He is 10 years older which is not a big deal to me at all. I showed a few friends a pic of us together at a large event. My friend actually gasped and asked how old is he?! I told her, just 10 years older, and she said "yeah but he looks much older and you look much younger." I haven't really thought about it. He is attractive to me, and of course what my friends think doesn't necessarily affect my dating choices, as I am a grown woman. However, that fact has its given me pause in light of what turned out that he didn't respect my lack of prestigious career. I posted about him awhile back and got some really fabulous advise from many people. Essentially I stopped dating him and lost interest in him romantically, because he not only doesn't fully respect me, he has also been verbal about that to me, so he either doesn't have a clue that its offensive, or he doesn't care. However (again,) I haven't met anyone else I am interested in (so far.) So I do respond to texts and emails. Out of boredom I guess. He has actually come over to my place a few times, b/c he is stressed out with things in his life. There is nothing more than cuddling. Overall I think he is a good guy but has hang-ups about prestige. He has been straightforward about the fact that he isn't sorted out in what he wants (divorce,) which I knew from the start and that's why I don't date separated men. I looked up his OLD profile and he has that he wants a woman who makes $75-150,000/yr. He has also made mention that he thinks I look better than he, again made me feel a little ? as I wasn't seeing him as unattractive. So, I joked with him that if he thinks I look so much better than he does, then is he viewing me as some type of escort?? This was a total joke on my part, because: 1. I'm not 2. No more sx is going on 3. He buys dinner, drinks but its not lavish. To my question, he responded that he enjoys being seen with me but again stated he isn't sorted out re: women, etc. Now, he is burning up my phone with texts and emails trying to get together this weekend. I'm tired of him trying to get together when its clear that neither of us thinks it is going anywhere. Do you think I need to give the boot completely, and suck it up when I am bored, or is there another way I could be looking at this? This man is going through a divorce and likely looking at alimony and child support payments. His interest in your lack of a prestigious job and income may not be about a high-standard he has, it may be about whether someone will be a source of "support" for him. What does he do for a living? That being said, he keeps coming around even though you don't meet his "criteria" because he hasn't found anyone else and at least wants some company, so you'll do, and you're doing the same thing. That's boring an unfulfilling. Give him the boot. 1
Author Auspecial Posted March 28, 2015 Author Posted March 28, 2015 Yes, I agree with you all, this is just silly for me to have any contact with him at all. And a statement about me not handling boredom as well as I should. LOL That can change! 1
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