thebiglimp Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 so i went on these half-arsed dates with a girl who was looking for an open relationship. first time i got way too drunk for the casual hookup that was being offered. second date i felt really out of mood and acted a complete bore. as we parted, i was sure that was the last time but then she offers to meet up the third time at a gathering with her friends. and she actually did invite me to it a week later. there i acted the part of a plutonic friend because i was sure that's what i'd turn into. but then at the end of that meet she invites me to her place for next time. but that was a month ago. no invitation has come. i tried chatting with her on facebook twice. sent a text twice asking to 'hang out' and was rejected the both times. but then she also matches me on tinder meanwhile, and also writes me that she hopes to see me before she leaves. (we're both expats) now the pessimist in me says i'm only being strung along and need to forget about it. but my curiosity says maybe i need to be more optimistic? in retrospect, i hardly put any effort into being a good company and maybe the short bursts of text asking to hang out was too insincere. what do you think?
Redhead14 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 so i went on these half-arsed dates with a girl who was looking for an open relationship. first time i got way too drunk for the casual hookup that was being offered. second date i felt really out of mood and acted a complete bore. as we parted, i was sure that was the last time but then she offers to meet up the third time at a gathering with her friends. and she actually did invite me to it a week later. there i acted the part of a plutonic friend because i was sure that's what i'd turn into. but then at the end of that meet she invites me to her place for next time. but that was a month ago. no invitation has come. i tried chatting with her on facebook twice. sent a text twice asking to 'hang out' and was rejected the both times. but then she also matches me on tinder meanwhile, and also writes me that she hopes to see me before she leaves. (we're both expats) now the pessimist in me says i'm only being strung along and need to forget about it. but my curiosity says maybe i need to be more optimistic? in retrospect, i hardly put any effort into being a good company and maybe the short bursts of text asking to hang out was too insincere. what do you think? She's stringing herself along. She's been chasing you and you haven't shown any sign of being interested . . .
Author thebiglimp Posted March 27, 2015 Author Posted March 27, 2015 that is true. i'm not too good at expressing what i want. i've already kinda given up but wanted to get some opinion on whether i had influence on turning her cold. running things back in my head i've come to the same conclusion as yours. i simply acted too uhm, asexual.
Redhead14 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 that is true. i'm not too good at expressing what i want. i've already kinda given up but wanted to get some opinion on whether i had influence on turning her cold. running things back in my head i've come to the same conclusion as yours. i simply acted too uhm, asexual. Well, the truth may be that you just aren't interested in her enough. If you were and a woman was basically throwing sex at you, you'd be "all over dat", yes?
Author thebiglimp Posted March 27, 2015 Author Posted March 27, 2015 well, i wasn't receptive to the idea of open relationship and she knew that. so on parting from the third meet, when she invited me to her place, should i have chased after that? maybe call her for a chat couple days later, or text? i just waited for her to call me, which was what she said but never did.
central Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 It kind of sounds like role reversal. She's playing the role of the typical assertive male, and you're playing the role of the dismissive female. She got what she wanted, but found that it wasn't worth pursuing you for more. 1
Author thebiglimp Posted March 27, 2015 Author Posted March 27, 2015 orbit: yeah, that's the terminology they use in 'gaming' sites. unfortunately there's something to learn from them besides how disingenuous some people can be. orbit means i'm being kept for someone else's validation... yeah. she was very macho, too. haha. are you saying that validation is what she wanted?
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