smackie9 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I worked in a nigh club so I know what the staff was like. If anyone thinks a bartender would have a conservative sex life, they have been living under a rock. I myself wouldn't disclose a "number" it's none of their business, but I would say yes I had some long term relationships and some fun in between. For me I would be more interested in their long term relationships and what happened there because how they handle themselves in a relationship would be more important (IMO) to know before I invest myself in them. 2
jen1447 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I used to bartend and because of the type of environment I worked in I've had quite a few sexual partners. I don't really feel comfortable disclosing it to a future partner, but also don't really want to lie. I look at the past as the past and wouldn't have an issue with my partner not telling me how many people they've been with. I'm curious what others in this type of position have done. Frank discussion about this sort of thing doesn't bother me in the slightest. In fact it can make for really stimulating conversations. 2
wizer Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I turned into a bit of a whore after my divorce. I've probably screwed more women in the past 10 years than I did the first 20 years of my life before I got married. The women I've met are horny, sexually uninhibited and experienced. I'd rather have a woman like that than one with little to no experience because the BJs are the best I've ever had. Although I'd consider a young virgin.
Toodaloo Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I think Buddhist is a woman. Either way its great that they have no hang ups what so ever and are so comfortable with themselves. Apologies if I have caused offence Buddhist - but I still think your attitude rocks. 1
xxoo Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 To me, no hang ups would mean a willingness and comfort discussing such life experiences. It's not just a bodily function; it's the story of how you came to be who and where you are as a lover and a partner. 2
d0nnivain Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I used to bartend and because of the type of environment I worked in I've had quite a few sexual partners. I don't really feel comfortable disclosing it to a future partner, but also don't really want to lie. I look at the past as the past and wouldn't have an issue with my partner not telling me how many people they've been with. I'm curious what others in this type of position have done. There are a few thread about The Number. I think sharing the exact # is a mistake. In your situation, I might say something like I had a wild period when I was a bartender but when I got out of that environment, I realized that monogamy is so much better. If you are truly living a different philosophy now, a good person won't hold a wild period against you & will assess you on who you are now, not who you may have been then. 1
Jethro Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Good god, just lie man. It's so much easier. A little white lie like that is no big deal. 2
SawtoothMars Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I'm so tired of this topic. If you don't want to talk about it.... then don't. If you DO talk about it, be honest but vague. How freaking hard is that? I'm much more worried about people judging me for things outside of my control. I don't mind people judging me for choices I made, because I'm a bloody adult and can accept responsibility. 3
katiegrl Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Said by a true man who has no hang ups, is under no illusions and is secure within himself... Tell me do you have a brother thats single by any chance? For all those guys trying to figure out what "Alpha Male" actually is... This is it. I am pretty sure Buddhist is female Toodaloo.... .
fitnessfan365 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 (edited) I am pretty sure Buddhist is female Toodaloo.... . Toodaloo is a female and a damn good one at that. ;-) In regards to sexual partners, I have had my fair share. The woman I'm seeing has limited experience. But she isn't intimidated and if anything, likes the fact that she can be my sexual muse with me introducing her to things. Edited March 27, 2015 by fitnessfan365
kleos Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I turned into a bit of a whore after my divorce. I've probably screwed more women in the past 10 years than I did the first 20 years of my life before I got married. The women I've met are horny, sexually uninhibited and experienced. I'd rather have a woman like that than one with little to no experience because the BJs are the best I've ever had. Although I'd consider a young virgin. You would consider a young virgin because society told you so. You would even consider a child if society would allow it. That is so sexist and disturbing because the symbol of a virgin for men is sacred but there is nothing pure about sex. It's dirty and funny. I would not definitely consider a young virgin man for me. Why? Because there is nothing good about it! Although numbers are meaningless I would prefer a person with life experience someone who could share the same level of knowledge, including sex, because if I want someone to teach to I would become a teacher or a parent. Honestly... 1
krs00 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I find it to be a young people thing. People don't ask this question past 40 yo. If ever a man ask me how many sexual partners I had I would have to laugh at him. OP: Just answer you had a few partners and the number is not important to you. If it is for her-him then they need to move on to someone a little more prude. it's an inappropriate question to ask, yet it's strange how many ladies get mad as hell when a guy won't divulge, usually because he has too many or two few.
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Just tell someone it's high and let it be done with...if that person isn't comfortable with that then you don't move forward together...that's just compatability and/or what the person is looking for. Be genuine and comfortable with yourself and decisions, no one else has to accept that though....that's fair enough, it's simple. 1
Snaggletooth Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I used to bartend and because of the type of environment I worked in I've had quite a few sexual partners. I don't really feel comfortable disclosing it to a future partner, but also don't really want to lie. I look at the past as the past and wouldn't have an issue with my partner not telling me how many people they've been with. I'm curious what others in this type of position have done. I think the worst thing you can do is lie. Once the truth outs (and it nearly always does) it's the lie becomes the problem for most people, not the past. Nobody likes to be deceived or feel manipulated. It breaks trust which takes time to rebuild. Lying also shows a lack of respect for a future partner. Not just a lack of respect for them be able to fall in love and make life choices based on truth, but a lack of respect for their ability not to let your past bother them. In my experience most people value honesty over anything we did in our past anyway. 2
wizer Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 You would even consider a child if society would allow it. Really? That's news to me. I better stay away from schoolyards.
Gaeta Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 it's an inappropriate question to ask, yet it's strange how many ladies get mad as hell when a guy won't divulge, usually because he has too many or two few. I don't know about ladies getting mad. I am a woman, I am actively dating and was never interested in knowing how many sexual partners my dates had in the past.
krs00 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I don't know about ladies getting mad. I am a woman, I am actively dating and was never interested in knowing how many sexual partners my dates had in the past. What if the number is 609? what if it's zero? accept those numbers?
Woggle Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I don't care much about numbers but people have the right to their standards. You can call it judgmental but if somebody doesn't want to commit a person with high numbers that is their right. It is no different than any other kinds of standards people use to choose a partner.
Gaeta Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 What if the number is 609? what if it's zero? accept those numbers? I know a man that his number was around 2000. A drop-dead-sexy-gorgeous Marine, he was a big player in his younger years, had a different girl every night if possible. After his wild partying years he settled down, had 2 sons, was a devoted husband and father. As for zero I don't care either. Who knows maybe I'll meet an ex priest and he'll be a virgin. I'll show him a trick or 2. 1
krs00 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I know a man that his number was around 2000. A drop-dead-sexy-gorgeous Marine, he was a big player in his younger years, had a different girl every night if possible. After his wild partying years he settled down, had 2 sons, was a devoted husband and father. As for zero I don't care either. Who knows maybe I'll meet an ex priest and he'll be a virgin. I'll show him a trick or 2. A guy with a number of 2000 has attracted 2000 different women. A guy with a number of zero could be the greatest guy or not, but he's socially inept when it comes to the opposite sex, not very appealing. That priest doesn't have a number of zero guaranteed.
d0nnivain Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 What if the number is 609? what if it's zero? accept those numbers? The exact # is nobody's business. I want to know health info. I want to know if the guy & I click, beyond that it doesn't matter to me. High & low #s do matter to some people. What I think is more important is that the adults own their decisions. Some people had wild periods when they were young. So what?
Gaeta Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 (edited) Men that were in long terms relationships are often better lovers. My personal experience. My ex-boyfriend had spent all his life with 1 woman. He was the best lover by far compared with the couple of players I've been to bed with. Before you had sex for the first time you did not know where the vagina was? Sex is programmed in us to ensure our survival, don't worry he'll figure out quickly where the vagina is. Edited March 28, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
jen1447 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Biggest qualification for being a good lover isn't experience, it's commitment to your pleasure. Most people can be trained pretty easily. 5
fitnessfan365 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Biggest qualification for being a good lover isn't experience, it's commitment to your pleasure. Most people can be trained pretty easily. This is why I don't like to rush into sex after 2-3 dates. I'd rather wait 4-5 weeks getting inside her head, and learn about her body through tons of foreplay so that when sex does happen it's that much better. After that it's pretty much her reaching out when we can get together and I make it happen. Being a guy that's p-whipped chasing after his woman for sex is the last place you want to be.
guest569 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I don't care about the number BUT I care about us being able to openly discuss sex, life, our histories without lies or evasion. I'm the sort of person who will gladly share every piece of information with my partner. I believe a couple should feel comfortable to share everything and not be judged. If a man wont talk openly with me then we are incompatible. I don't think this makes me insecure or inappropriate. 3
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