Just broke up last Thursday, but she's coming with me 2find a new crib 2moro?

[wingman3]

Long story short, this is our 3rd breakup...Year 1 she found out I was texting another girl , but no biggie we got back together rather quick..my first big **** up...

 

Year 2 was the real breakup where we broke up for about 2-3 months after she went in my phone and found out I was "courting" a co-worker... It was because we were having issues that led me to believe she was leaving me...but after lots of work back together.

 

So now she broke up with me over the phone last Thursday, just a few days after we promised to recommit. She says she still hasnt forgiven me for coworker incident a year later (she still thinks about it)...

 

Saturday she text me unprovoked "Love you always.." I ignored it playing the NC game...Sunday she called and for some asinine reason because I didn't expect the call I picked up, she was able to "asses my state" (that I was bummed) with the "I left something over there but I'll get it later" stuff...

 

so 4 days later I just went ahead and called her and she picked up…it was all good at first, then she started to bring up some of the undesirable things I did in the relationship (co-worker, addicted to porn-stuff) that made her feel the way she does...

 

She lit me up a little but I took it in stride, however by the end of the conversation she warmed up and while she said she doesn’t want to do anything romantic right now, she agreed to come with me tomorrow to look for a new apartment (something I’ve been doing for a few weeks)…

 

Following the phone conversation she is now texting me funny things (LOL pics) and I’m texting her some stuff…

 

Smiley face emoticons and what have you so it feels almost back to normal (although I’m not that foolish), so we will be hooking up tomorrow,...

 

Told her I wouldn’t pressure her into anything we’re just chilling looking for my new crib…Didn’t beg or grovel or say I’m sorry at all…Just was like I’m feeling optimistic following this week apart about what the future may hold for ME (not her)…And that moving to this new crib is my initial step for a good new perspective on things, perhaps, ultimately for both of us…

 

Now we’re actually spending the day together tomorrow (why would she agree to this in your opinion?), what would be your advice moving forward…I do want to be with her, but I don't know how to act going forward...

[wingman3]

eh? srsly? real help please....

[Smokeshow]

Kfresh101 might be right, check out the spell casters and let us now if they work, sounds like you might need the help.

Truthfully with she's done with you and is just weaning herself off of you gradually. Not sure there is any hope especially after what you've done to her. I think it's a lost cause. Move on dude and try to treat the next one with respect

[mammasita]

I'm wondering why she keeps coming back to you. You seem like you're just along for the ride and don't really give a damn one way or another texting other chicks and all.

 

In all seriousness, I think you need to figure out why you do "undesirable" things and why you jumped the gun to fill the gap with another chick when you thought there was trouble instead of trying to work on the issues with your relationship.

 

Usually it's a matter of insecurity, inexperience and/or a combination of both. If you really want to be with this girl, stop with the games and start focusing on her and tell her that....I'm pretty sure she'd LOVE to hear it....otherwise let her go so she can move on.

[d0nnivain]

If you like roller coasters & merry go rounds, go to an amusement park. They shouldn't be part of your relationship.

 

 

If she's dumped you, do not take her to look for your new apartment. Your new place should be a symbol of your new beginning without her, no memories of her, all yours. Bringing her there just continues this ridiculous cycle of your dysfunctional relationship where you two continue to hurt each other without resolving anything.

[wingman3]

Look its deeper than the characters on the screen...She's done stuff too (dated an ex while we were in a rough patch)...The chick I originally texted was BEFORE WE WERE OFFICIAL, but she found out after the fact and didn't care...

 

but this last year since the 2nd breakup I've been good...She's a feminist and finding herself...

 

When she broke up with me last week it hurt like hell because we had recomitted and were finally on the right path, so I thought, but she's bisexual and she told me she started talking with another woman online who may be more in tune with her needs in terms of the feminism and womanism stuff...

 

I work two jobs and when I get home I just want to have fun with her and at times she's taken my aloofness toward her feminist issues as disrespect instead of me trying to get the most enjoyment out of the 2-3 hours I have to spend with her (basically I keep it light when she's heavy in this area)...

 

Now it hurt but if she slammed me today I was gonna walk away, but I do love her deeply and when its good between us its like a dream...I'm looking at her willingness to do this with me as an olive branch since she contacted me twice unprovoked after the last breakup

 

So l don't wanna screw this up again..I just want some advice on how not to screw it up given she's doing this with me...

[wingman3]

C'mon now...time is of the essence... good people, thnx...

Edited March 27, 2015 by wingman3

[ZiggyZoo]

She's just lonely, used to you filling the empty hours in her life, and instead of maintaining NC herself, she called you. Nothing is black and white, and there are still a lot of good memories of your relationship floating around. So, she called you out of nostalgia and habit. Trust me, been there and done that. It doesn't mean what you hope it does, the fact that she's bringing up the reason why she dumped you says that loud and clear. If she was interested in getting back together, that's the LAST thing she'd want to talk about. So, you're good for now, until she figures out what else to do with her spare time and/or meets someone else.

 

Like I said, been there done that plenty of times. Not proud at all looking back, but there it is. My advice is to not hang out today, or for about six months to a year, but you're likely going to. So know that this is not the first step towards reconciliation, she's using you to make her transition to single life easier. So act any way you want, she's had nothing but time to convince herself that she's better off without you.

 

This is blunt and harsh, but the sooner you start to realize its over, the less pain you'll go through.

[d0nnivain]

Your second post confirms that she doesn't love you. She wants to explore the other side of her sexual desires. You two are not compatible: she is a feminist who finds you aloof when all you are doing is trying to relax & have fun with her.

 

 

Seriously, take this latest break up as permanent & move forward without her.