Alan12 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 we finally met each other after the no contact, i tried everything in my power to avoid confrontation about our past but again the arguments started..... she was bringing up the past you did that and you did this........ the next day i went to her house and gave her a small gift..... it was a pictures of us both. i said "i cannot keep going on like this these arguments are killing me, we spent along time together i cant argue no more"...... once i gave her the gift she was left stunned and in shock i wonder after this what i should do
PegNosePete Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 You should go back to NC. Do you think it's some kind of magic trick to get your ex back? That's a common misconception. It's not. 3
Mi7522 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 we finally met each other after the no contact, i tried everything in my power to avoid confrontation about our past but again the arguments started..... she was bringing up the past you did that and you did this........ the next day i went to her house and gave her a small gift..... it was a pictures of us both. i said "i cannot keep going on like this these arguments are killing me, we spent along time together i cant argue no more"...... once i gave her the gift she was left stunned and in shock i wonder after this what i should do You do nothing but continue on with your life, she is no longer a part of it. You basically told her you can't continue on like this anymore so the ball is in her court to decide how to proceed if she wants to at all 2
Author Alan12 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 thats right i guess its just a waiting game now........... the gift part really knocked her back she was startled 1
Jimmyjackson Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 thats right i guess its just a waiting game now........... the gift part really knocked her back she was startled You don't "wait", you move on with your life and if she comes back then decide what to do then, but don't wait around for anyone. "A life. You know what that is? It's the **** that happens while you're waiting for moments that never come." - The Wire 2
Author Alan12 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 how do people act when you do a kind gesture such as mine..........i supose its better then destruction
badpenny Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 You have no idea what she did. I hate to say it, but she could have put it straight into the bin. You need to go complete No Contact - to heal, move on and carry on with your life. You do NOT wait for her, wonder if she will do anything, say anything or come round. No Contact is not a tool to get anyone back, or tempt them into engaging with you. No Contact does exactly what it says on the tin. severs all ties, ends everything and closes all doors, windows, gaps or cracks. Its - over.
d0nnivain Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 we finally met each other after the no contact, i tried everything in my power to avoid confrontation about our past but again the arguments started..... she was bringing up the past you did that and you did this........ the next day i went to her house and gave her a small gift..... it was a pictures of us both. i said "i cannot keep going on like this these arguments are killing me, we spent along time together i cant argue no more"...... once i gave her the gift she was left stunned and in shock i wonder after this what i should do There is no after the NC. It's not a cooling off period. It's a permanent separation. You never talk to the other person again ever. You certainly don't give them presents. She was stunned because giving a gift to someone you are broken up with is outside the norm. By still dredging up whatever broke you apart, your EX-GF is not of the mind to forgive, forget & move forward. It's called a break up because it's broken. Leave her be. This is not fixable. It's not a waiting game. What are you waiting for? She's not coming back. 5
ZiggyZoo Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Your "kind gesture" reeks of overt manipulation, and if she's any girl worth her salt, she saw it for what it was and threw it away. Really? I suppose you meant to leave on a grandly romantic "I only regret that our love just isn't enough, here's a keepsake of our time together" note and hope that she will gaze at the picture and wistfully long for you to come back to her...It looks instead like you have an overinflated sense of self-worth, and she wasn't as stunned or shocked as you like to think she was. She was probably more like WTF does he think I want with a picture of HIM for? What to do now? Move on. Go NC.
DJOkawari Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 There is a lot of negativity in this thread but it is accurate. The gift is okay IMO, I think meaningful things like that are important for both people's lives. Hating your ex is immature but I think everyone including you can see that any sort of "continuation" of what you had is not possible. She's still angry and emotional towards you, you are still sad and emotional towards her - there is only one thing you can do: go NC and stay NC until you are happy 100% without her. If you feel like contacting her then you aren't ready. One day, maybe you'll run into each other or she'll ask to catch up...but that's ridiculous to think about - just try to find your own happiness first. And finally, I'll be the first to say that manipulation works...until you slip up or she figures it out OR MOST IMPORTANTLY you realize you've built something hollow and it makes you unhappy. Then you have the girl you wanted and are also miserable. Think about that. 1
devilish innocent Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 It doesn't matter what she thinks of your gift or how she wants to act. You broke no contact when you shouldn't have. Now you want her to be thinking about the gift. All of that is interaction. The more you interact with her, the more you're setting yourself back from moving on. Find other things to occupy yourself with instead. 1
Satu Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 thats right i guess its just a waiting game now........... the gift part really knocked her back she was startled Waiting for what? More pain?
ZiggyZoo Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 And finally, I'll be the first to say that manipulation works...until you slip up or she figures it out OR MOST IMPORTANTLY you realize you've built something hollow and it makes you unhappy. Then you have the girl you wanted and are also miserable. Think about that. Then how is it working? To me, a working, successful relationship is one built on mutual trust and respect. If one partner is deliberately behaving in such a manner as to control the reactions or feelings of the other, that is dysfunctional as all hell. Much better to just find someone who feels the way you want already, without any manipulation needed. 2
DJOkawari Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Then how is it working? To me, a working, successful relationship is one built on mutual trust and respect. If one partner is deliberately behaving in such a manner as to control the reactions or feelings of the other, that is dysfunctional as all hell. Much better to just find someone who feels the way you want already, without any manipulation needed. I agree with you My writing style made it confusing I guess. I meant to say "Yeah it can get your ex back but the relationship will suck and you will be unhappy with them" 1
erklat Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 No, you can't get your ex back unless they want to be taken back and act accordingly. I agree with donnivan, there is no after NC. There is only void. 2
ZiggyZoo Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 I agree with you My writing style made it confusing I guess. I meant to say "Yeah it can get your ex back but the relationship will suck and you will be unhappy with them" Gotcha. For a minute, I thought you were talking about some Pickup Artist crap. I was waiting for you to advise him to insult girls or something . Just kidding, just kidding. 1
Seeker12 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 You have to understand my friend, that there is no after no contact - usually there is no contact and then that blends into - this is my life and im living it without that girl/guy i used to know, almost seamless transition really. 2
irresolute Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 after no contact what? this is hilarious, you think she'll get back to you because you gave a gift? wow, and still there's some naive people out there... 2
Recommended Posts