kimba Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 I am hoping someone can give me some advice as I am hurting quite a bit I met a guy online almost 2 years ago, and we became friends. Very good friends, best friends. We always kind of flirted with each other and probably started doing that a lot about 6 months ago Eventually 2 weeks ago we went out one night and got drunk and ended up sleeping together. He stayed the whole weekend. Then he acted like it was a mistake and that he shouldn't have done it. When he said it was a mistake and he didn't want a relationship I believed him. So I went ok, he doesn't want to continue and a few days later I told him I was going to go out that night with some other guy (a first meeting) . He didn't say much. The next night we went out again dancing , and really I wasn't expecting anything to happen given what he had said about not wanting anything. But we did and it was even more passionate than before. He was all over me from the moment I saw him before we even left to go out . BUT I don't know if it was because I went out with someone else and he was jealous Then 2 nights ago he rings me up and tells me how much he likes me, how awesome I am and that I am 98% of what he is looking for in a girlfriend (yeah thanks) He was going on about how amazing I am etc. He was telling me 'I like you so much I like you sooooo much, you are awesome, amazing, you are everything I am looking for ... It's almost there, maybe it is there? I don't know why you are not, its at 98% etc etc and then he was saying how hot I am (I'm not hot, just hot to him) and how he has probably never had such amazing sex. Without going into detail.. Then yesterday he texts me that he has been talking to some other girl for a few months and that he wants to pursue a relationship with her and that our sex has to stop. . Stab to the heart. But that he still wants to be friends. This guy isn't some random, we have been best friends, then slow burn , then recently got sexual. I can't even bear the thought of him being with someone else. Be friends? So I told him how I felt. That I am hurt and that he shouldn't have slept with me if he had known he was meeting up with someone else during that time. I am not some random chick, he has told me many times how much he loves me and I am his best friend . So I am hurt but I am numb. How should I have handled this? Just like he said the previous weekend he said now that the sex had to stop. But then when went out again we had sex, so he is not very sure about what he wants it seems Then I texted that what I am supposed to be friends with you and your random girlfriend?? I said I don't even want to meet her, then he texted that I am 'crazy' Crazy.? I have the advantage that having been platonic friends so long I know how he operates with women and he falls in love with them after 3 days of chatting online, and comes to me saying I am in love! I am in love! And then 2 days later he meets them and nothing happens. And next, and next. He falls for people without even really knowing them. Then when they dont meet up to his inflated expectation he isnt interested. Now he has someone real that he knows (me), he says how great i am, how we are compatible in every area so i dont understand why he is bailing out. We have been best friends for a year and a half so we hit it off in all sorts of ways. I've helped him though dating girls, he has helped me as well. I do know that he hasn't had much luck dating over the past year . And it's because he falls for them too quickly, scares them off etc. he also doesn't have a car and girls a lot of the time are turned off by it. That's what he tells me. So here I come along, right under his nose the whole time, we start hitting the town together, staying overnight and each other's house, and realise BOOM we shoudl have been doing this all along. When he told me about this girl yesterday he said well you did the same thing, you went out with a guy last week so join the club! I just said well you told me you didn't want to sleep together anymore and I don't even want him. You are telling me you want this girl I am starting to think he made this girl up. There no evidence that she even exists. I have a small inkling he might be just paying me back for the guy I went out with I feel like all I can do is vanish. He has to miss me I think. If he got scared of what he has with me then all I can really do is nothing and let him feel what it's liek not to have me around. My last text was just telling him that he did the wrong thing, having this girl there all along, then sleeping with me and then telling me about her, and that I slept with him with my heart not just my body. My heart. He didn't reply . Is this the best thing to do ? Just disappear ? I can't say to him, you are just scared. It just hurts every minute there is no text from him
Toodaloo Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Sex messes everything up. I think you do need to distance yourself. Purely because if you don't it will hurt. Just think of it as taking time out. For what its worth sometimes friends do just move on for what ever reason. My best friend when I was a teenager buggared off and I was devastated at the time but I hardly give her a thought these days. Same goes for great male friends that move on. Life doesn't stand still it evolves... So don't worry. It will work out in the end. But he really does need to stop the umm ahhh rubbish. He either wants to be with you or not. Its is that simple.
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