First Love, First Break Up - Devestated

[MovingOn9]

I am going through my first break up, from a woman I thought might be the first real love of my life. We had only been together a couple months, though she was a friend of mine for a couple years. I had every reason to believe she was crazy about me (she had surprised me with plane tickets/weekend get away three weeks before we broke up), and I new I was crazy about her.

 

 

I am 35 and I can objectively say I have never experienced anything like the feeling I had with her. Everything was going great with her and I, we seemed so into each other, making each other both so happy when we spent time together.

 

Then a few days after Valentine's Day (which we spent together), her 16 year old daughter had a panic attack at school, passed out, and had to be rushed to the hospital. My ex went to the hospital, saw her daughter in the hospital bed and freaked out. Two days later she told me she needed some space to sort things out, two weeks after that she told me we were done, that she couldn't see how she could be there for her daughter and have a relationship. That was three weeks ago. I am so devastated by this. I feel embarrassed that I am this torn up over such a short relationship, but again, I have never had anything like this before, and it was cut so suddenly.

 

Two weeks ago I sent her an email expressing no contact, she replied and said she understood. That is the last communication we have had. I can't stop thinking about her though. I keep thinking of ways we might get back together, or memories of us together, and it stings my whole body. While I am slightly better than I was week 1, I thought I would be doing better than I am by now.

 

Any support is appreciated, thanks.

MO9

[Nolan 93]

Hey brother sorry you are going through another ruff patch in your life. Its not easy when you are the one who gets dumped, and I know the pain. I was in love to but **** happens, and just give her all the space she needs.

 

Let her breath, she ended the relationship no matter how long or short it may be, let her be the one to want to come back. There could be many reasons why she wanted it to end, and honestly we will never know cause you'll be in NC.

 

Its the only way to go and honestly it helps, and I mean a lot. I have been broken up with my ex for almost four and a half months, and in NC for almost three months. Its hard man, but once each day passes you become indifferent.

 

If you were the best partner you could be and she dumped you for her own selfish reasons, at least you can raise your head up hi and say it was her loss. Thats what I tell myself here and there. Just be thankful for the time that you spent with your partner I know I am even though It was my heart that was broken in the end.

 

Good Luck Brother!!

[MovingOn9]

Thanks Nolan. I am finding this all very, very difficult. People keep telling me it gets better, but it sure feels like I won't get any relief. Every day I wake up, she is the first thing on my mind. I wish I could just stop thinking about her.