GoldenGirl2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 He told me that things would change if I gave him another chance because I stopped talking to him for almost two months and was ignoring him. Well last Friday we were supposed to go out, but he said he couldn't because he was busy, then he left town for a few days, came back today I called him we talked for about 5 minutes. Doing a little catching up, then he said he had to go. He asked what I was doin later, I told him not much, so I thought he would ask to meet up, but he didn't. Its the same cycle with him. He seems to never have time to spend REAL time with me. He even told me we would go out on a lunch or dinner date the first day I agreed to talk to him again which we was supposed to do that Friday.
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 He told me that things would change if I gave him another chance because I stopped talking to him for almost two months and was ignoring him. Well last Friday we were supposed to go out, but he said he couldn't because he was busy, then he left town for a few days, came back today I called him we talked for about 5 minutes. Doing a little catching up, then he said he had to go. He asked what I was doin later, I told him not much, so I thought he would ask to meet up, but he didn't. Its the same cycle with him. He seems to never have time to spend REAL time with me. He even told me we would go out on a lunch or dinner date the first day I agreed to talk to him again which we was supposed to do that Friday. No! Don't ask him anything.... don't DO anything. Just pull back (stop texting, stop calling) and fall off his radar. If he likes you, HE will step up and start to pursue you. If not, then so be it....move on. 6
Male Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 No! Don't ask him anything.... don't DO anything. Just pull back (stop texting, stop calling) and fall off his radar. If he likes you, HE will step up and start to pursue you. If not, then so be it....move on. I agree 100% with everything EXCEPT the "If he likes you, he will pursue". Just because a guy pursues doesnt mean he likes a woman. It irritates me to no end when I hear that phrase. Men will pursue for sex, for ego, for attention, etc. But for some reason women love to withdraw purposely to get the guy to chase, instantly thinking "Oh wow he must really like me!" How a guy treats a woman, his manners, his respect, thats what determines whether or not he likes her. 3
Author GoldenGirl2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 I agree 100% with everything EXCEPT the "If he likes you, he will pursue". Just because a guy pursues doesnt mean he likes a woman. It irritates me to no end when I hear that phrase. Men will pursue for sex, for ego, for attention, etc. But for some reason women love to withdraw purposely to get the guy to chase, instantly thinking "Oh wow he must really like me!" How a guy treats a woman, his manners, his respect, thats what determines whether or not he likes her. And that's what I'm starting to think, its all about his ego and attention. I think he just wanted me to be on the hook for him. So by what is sounds like does he truly like me or is he feeding me lies? He even told me he loves ms, but never wants to go out with me. Yea ok 1
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 No! Don't ask him anything.... don't DO anything. Just pull back (stop texting, stop calling) and fall off his radar. If he likes you, HE will step up and start to pursue you. If not, then so be it....move on. I know that. I only meant HE will step up and start initiating and wanting to see her (pursue)....AS OPPOSED to "her" doing all the calling and initiating, which I presume, based on her post, is what's happening now. If he doesn't then again, she should just move on.
Author GoldenGirl2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 I know that. I only meant HE will step up and start initiating and wanting to see her (pursue)....AS OPPOSED to "her" doing all the calling and initiating, which I presume, based on her post, is what's happening now. If he doesn't then again, she should just move on. Yeah. I'm normally the one to text him or call him. Only because it seems like if I don't text him he won't text me and he almost NEVER calls. The time we talked on the phone when he was begging for me to give it another chance was the longest we EVER talked on the phone in the 6 months I've known him. That was about 25mins
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 (edited) >>If I don't text him, he won't text me, and he almost never calls... ------------ Well what does that tell you? He doesn't give a crap, that's what it tells you... or "should" tell you. Is that the type of man you want? A man who CLEARLY doesn't give a crap if he ever talks to you or spends time with you???? Your call but I sure don't!! Edited March 26, 2015 by katiegrl 1
fitnessfan365 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 GG, The guy is jerking you around. He's getting off on your interest level in him and uses it to make himself feel better plain and simple. You're a fun, playful woman. Delete the guy from your phone and find a guy that can satisfy your curiosity of submission and your love of a good spanking. 2
MissBee Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 He told me that things would change if I gave him another chance because I stopped talking to him for almost two months and was ignoring him. Well last Friday we were supposed to go out, but he said he couldn't because he was busy, then he left town for a few days, came back today I called him we talked for about 5 minutes. Doing a little catching up, then he said he had to go. He asked what I was doin later, I told him not much, so I thought he would ask to meet up, but he didn't. Its the same cycle with him. He seems to never have time to spend REAL time with me. He even told me we would go out on a lunch or dinner date the first day I agreed to talk to him again which we was supposed to do that Friday. Why do you need to ask him when it is clear he doesn't. No need to ask what you already know, simply move on. If someone is serious about a second chance they would go ABOVE AND BEYOND, this dude clearly hasn't changed and isn't at all concerned about showing you he is serious so why bother ask him the obvious...he canceled your date and has made ZERO effort to reschedule and you feel he has no time for you, do you really need to ask given those facts? 2
Author GoldenGirl2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 Why do you need to ask him when it is clear he doesn't. No need to ask what you already know, simply move on. If someone is serious about a second chance they would go ABOVE AND BEYOND, this dude clearly hasn't changed and isn't at all concerned about showing you he is serious so why bother ask him the obvious...he canceled your date and has made ZERO effort to reschedule and you feel he has no time for you, do you really need to ask given those facts? No I don't. I realize this now because I text him good night just to show him I care and he never replied not that I was expecting anything from him. Smh. I feel so hurt, and stupid. I hate that I have to like him. Just when I moved on he sucks me back in just to do this
Buddhist Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 If you have to ask, you should have already moved on. Don't give it the time of day just let go. 1
fred123 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 The sad thing is he doesnt even want to sleep with you. He just cant be bothered to even see you even for sex. You are truly friendzoned
badpenny Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 The sad thing is he doesnt even want to sleep with you. He just cant be bothered to even see you even for sex. You are truly friendzoned I don't think she's even that, to be honest..... 1
Redhead14 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 He told me that things would change if I gave him another chance because I stopped talking to him for almost two months and was ignoring him. Well last Friday we were supposed to go out, but he said he couldn't because he was busy, then he left town for a few days, came back today I called him we talked for about 5 minutes. Doing a little catching up, then he said he had to go. He asked what I was doin later, I told him not much, so I thought he would ask to meet up, but he didn't. Its the same cycle with him. He seems to never have time to spend REAL time with me. He even told me we would go out on a lunch or dinner date the first day I agreed to talk to him again which we was supposed to do that Friday. You can say something like "since we've reconnected after the break, I feel that some of the same things are happening again that caused us to break up before. I enjoy the time we spend together, however, it lacks quality". Can we make a plan for scheduled days or nights going forward? Like, each Wednesday night and Saturday (whatever days you two want) and if there is something else we need to do on those days we discuss it." If he refuses to move forward with a plan like that, I'd end it for good. If a man isn't making time for you, he's not as invested in the relationship as you need him to be.
Author GoldenGirl2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 Update: Today he text me and asked me to help him find an apt and said I can choose the location because technically it's gonna be MY place so whatever I want. Whatever that was supposed to mean. He was being pretty nice today, so idk. FYI we HAVE had sex before, but I'm cutting that out this time around. Its been 2 months since we've had sex.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Update: Today he text me and asked me to help him find an apt and said I can choose the location because technically it's gonna be MY place so whatever I want. Whatever that was supposed to mean. He was being pretty nice today, so idk. FYI we HAVE had sex before, but I'm cutting that out this time around. Its been 2 months since we've had sex. Haha.. The combo of suddenly "nice' behavior and referencing an apartment, is code for "I want to butter you up so you'll have sex with me". Just drop the guy already.
Author GoldenGirl2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Author Posted March 27, 2015 Haha.. The combo of suddenly "nice' behavior and referencing an apartment, is code for "I want to butter you up so you'll have sex with me". Just drop the guy already. Oh he's totally done, do you know he had the nerves to ask me to put the place in my name? I told he was crazy and have been ignoring him since . smh I'm disgusted by that thought of him even asking me that. He's no good and good for nothing.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Oh he's totally done, do you know he had the nerves to ask me to put the place in my name? I told he was crazy and have been ignoring him since . smh I'm disgusted by that thought of him even asking me that. He's no good and good for nothing. Good that you come to your senses finally. If you were close, I'd spank you for being such a bad girl by associating with the guy for too long.
markleymassraff Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 I'm in a similar situation with a guy. We were involved in January, he backed off Feb. 1st. I did not chase him. Did not contact. He then contacted me in mid-March. Don't ever chase them. As soon as they act a fool, leave them be. They often start contacting again, but then they still act a fool. Or something. 1
preraph Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 He's lukewarm at best. Date other people and go out with friends. Do NOT drop everything to accommodate him when he asks you out and do not accept any last-minute invitations. He is treating you badly and probably not worth even trying with him, but if you're going to, then train him to treat you right by not being available at the last minute and not giving him priority over other plans you've made. If he can't do the bare minimum courtesy, then f him.
Hopeful30 Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 Why even ask? Judge by his actions. Any answer could be a lie, so making decisions based on what he says is a bad idea.
spiderowl Posted March 28, 2015 Posted March 28, 2015 Full of promises but nothing in reality. You are wasting your time with him. Any guy keen on you would be going to considerable trouble to get you to spend time with him. If you feel he has no time for you, it's because he's not interested. I'd drop him like a hot brick! 1
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