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Help! Should I try to keep his ego in check or is he just "being a guy"?

baltimoregirl42

By baltimoregirl42
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baltimoregirl42 Member

baltimoregirl42

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I am 24 and my boyfriend is 26. We have been dating for about 6 months now. We have a pretty good relationship for the most part. Here’s the issue…

He seems to have a bit of a problem keeping his ego in check. He has mentioned to me when we were having a conversation about break-ups that he “has never been with a woman who didn’t want him”. In other words, girls always wanted him and he was always the one to end the relationship.

That in itself didn’t really concern me so much as the things that have followed…

He also felt compelled to tell me how he always gets hit-on by attractive women and he’s slept with a LOT of people, had threesomes, etc.

The final straw: the second month we were dating I saw Durex condoms in the bathroom that he shares with his roommate. They were sitting there on the counter and I asked if they were his. His response was “No way. Those are his (roommates). I use these”, then proceeds to show me a box of Trojan Magnums (large size condoms). He tells me that he can’t use “regular” size condoms because he “always breaks them”.

Just a week ago we were out and saw some flavored condoms and I jokingly asked him if he wanted one, to which he replied, “You know I’m too big for them”.

He and I didn’t start sleeping together until we had been together for a while and got tested together, and so we’ve never used condoms. He’s about average “size”, 6 or 7 inches. I have been with guys that were larger and the condoms have never broke, so I’m not sure where he’s getting this from.

His arrogance is a real turn-off and I’m not sure what to say. Are all guys like this? Is he saying these things because he wants me to tell him that he’s huge or whatever?

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baltimoregirl42 Member

baltimoregirl42

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Also, is this possibly a cover-up for his insecurities? I've never experienced this kind of behavior before. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Cecelius Established Member

Cecelius

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Is it possible that he's joking? Also, I dunno if 7 is average, though I don't know that it's worth braggin about either

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baltimoregirl42 Member

baltimoregirl42

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Unfortunately, he's not joking. Should I just smile and nod, ignore his comments, or stroke his ego (like it really needs it)?

blind_otter Established Member

blind_otter

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Originally posted by baltimoregirl42

Unfortunately, he's not joking. Should I just smile and nod, ignore his comments, or stroke his ego (like it really needs it)?

 

None of the above. I would be like, um, I've been with guys who were bigger and they didn't need special condoms. Maybe you just don't use them right. </snarkiness> :p

 

I agree, it is a turn off, he DOES need to check his ego at the door, and you DO need to say something now or you will be irritated later on, I promise.

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baltimoregirl42 Member

baltimoregirl42

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What do you say to something like that? I'm not going to say, "I've been with other guys who were bigger, etc". That's mean isn't it?

Cecelius Established Member

Cecelius

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It is. His boastfullness is a turn off perhaps, but it's just that -- he's not really beating you up over it. I'd decide whether its a big deal, whether it means you think he's a dope, and either live with it or dump him.

 

Put it this way, if a girl that I thought was kind of heavy thought she was gorgeous and slim, it would be mean to take her aside and tell her that think she's heavy, simply because it got on my nerves that she's conceited.

blind_otter Established Member

blind_otter

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Sigh. The emoticon with the tongue sticking out meant that I was saying that TONGUE IN CHEEK.

 

You guys are way too serious. Blah.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Originally posted by baltimoregirl42

His arrogance is a real turn-off and I’m not sure what to say.

 

okey-dokey BALTIMOREGURL42. We will get down to the heart of the matter here and now....

 

basically you have a choice between two types of guys:

 

guy "A": nice, sensitive, no ego, not arrogant BUT boring, docile, spineless

guy "B": not so nice, sometimes insensitive, big ego, can be arrogant, BUT he's fun, exciting, dominates and makes you wanna f***.

 

chose one of the above.

Cecelius Established Member

Cecelius

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I completely missed the tongue in cheek, and I pride myself on dry wit. My fault.

 

Also, you can be insanely confident, occasionally arrogant, and cocky as hell (my mantra) but if you're talking about your schlong too much, you're covering for something and it cracks the facade.

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baltimoregirl42 Member

baltimoregirl42

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I missed the tongue in cheek as well. My bad.

 

I wish the two types of guys weren't so defined. Isn't there a happy medium?

 

Also, his ego is starting to spill into other areas as well. It makes him not much of a "giver" in the bedroom. It's usually all about HIM. HIS pleasure. HIS wants and needs. In fact, just the other night I initiated sex since we hadn't had it in a week. I "serviced" him for about 20 minutes or so, and then when I sweetly asked him if he wouldn't mind returning the favor to get me really turned on, his response was "Do I have to?".

 

Needless to say, that totally turned me off and we didn't have sex. I felt unattractive, undesirable, and hurt.

blind_otter Established Member

blind_otter

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Doesn't sound like it's starting to "spill out" -- sounds like he is starting to show you his true colors.

 

I dated a guy like that. In fact I've dated several. They can easily hide who they really are for 3-4 months and after that you start to see what they really are.

Bubbles Established Member

Bubbles

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Icky, icky, icky.........My ex was like that.......he bragged himself up every living chance he had. It was disgusting! I was so embarassed when he would go on and on about himself. For example if we were with friends and someone told a story of something that they did? Well, you know......he always had a story to tell about himself and how he did something Bigger and Better.......Oh Man the arrogance! It would turn my stomach!!! and even if I tried to stop him it was IMPOSSIBLE!

 

 

bubbles

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Originally posted by Bubbles

......he always had a story to tell about himself and how he did something Bigger and Better.......Oh Man the arrogance! It would turn my stomach!!! and even if I tried to stop him it was IMPOSSIBLE!

 

no one else will toot your own horn for you. this must be done yourself.

blind_otter Established Member

blind_otter

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Originally posted by alphamale

no one else will toot your own horn for you. this must be done yourself.

 

Nothing is worse than someone tooting a non-existant horn, though. You have to admit.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Originally posted by blind_otter

Nothing is worse than someone tooting a non-existant horn, though. You have to admit.

true B_O. But if one has something legitimate to toot about, I say toot away!!! :laugh:

Bubbles Established Member

Bubbles

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Yes, I agree......if you have something that is worth tooting....then fine! Toot away but just to toot your horn to make yourself look "big"? I say No - you need to shut that person down. Don't validate self-serving tooting!!!!

 

bubbles

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