mefisto Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I wonder if degrees of hurt depends of whether one was cheated on or not. Sometimes i see people, who had a fair breakup, heal much faster than others, who were cheated on. I want to ask some people who were cheated on - how is/was your healing process?
AIJ Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I don't know if I was actually cheated on however my ex jumped in to a relationship very quickly with this guy I'd never even heard of during the entire time I'd known her (13 months), so I'd imagine something was going on during the closing stages of our relationship. I think the fact that she jumped in to a relationship so quickly actually sped up my healing process considerably. I was incredibly upset/bitter originally but then I just kind of realised she really isn't worth it. Gradually healing
SycamoreCircle Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I rarely think about her, sexually. Mostly it's the betrayal of our trust, our intimacy that rattles me so much. How someone could be so vicious. I can't seem to let go of it. Coming up on a year NC now. She left me for a manipulative douchebag. And in the process became a manipulative douchebag, herself. Smeared me to her family and friends. That's what hurts. The kind, loving, warm person I knew was murdered. Virtually overnight. She became crazy, in a way. I mean, what do you say about a person who lies to their own mother?
darkbloom Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 I've broken up three times with the same guy. The first time there was no cheating but the level of pain was excruciating. I literally was a huge mess. The third time there was cheating. The hurt was still great especially with the lying. But it was not as raw as the first time. The cheating makes it more permanent that it is over. That's the part that hurts the most. I think it's hard to get over the betrayl. Especially if you still love them. The healing goes faster when you decide that you don't want to hurt over the person anymore. I love him, but I will not be in pain because of him.
Jonp219 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 I rarely think about her, sexually. Mostly it's the betrayal of our trust, our intimacy that rattles me so much. How someone could be so vicious. I can't seem to let go of it. Coming up on a year NC now. She left me for a manipulative douchebag. And in the process became a manipulative douchebag, herself. Smeared me to her family and friends. That's what hurts. The kind, loving, warm person I knew was murdered. Virtually overnight. She became crazy, in a way. I mean, what do you say about a person who lies to their own mother? That's what scares me the most, how can someone change so drastically? Does that mean that there were underlying issues there to begin with, or did really happen in the course of a short period of time? Things like this make me say, "**** love". What's the point of opening up to another person again? What's the point of marriage if divorce is inevitable? I know everything is meant to come to an end, but things like this make me bitter towards everything that's suppose to feel good.
SycamoreCircle Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 That's what scares me the most, how can someone change so drastically? Does that mean that there were underlying issues there to begin with, or did really happen in the course of a short period of time? Things like this make me say, "**** love". What's the point of opening up to another person again? What's the point of marriage if divorce is inevitable? I know everything is meant to come to an end, but things like this make me bitter towards everything that's suppose to feel good.Well, as someone on LS advised me---the best way I can understand such drastic changes of personality is that the issues were there all along, the personality was there all along---it took a certain set of problems to bring them out.
Jonp219 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Well, as someone on LS advised me---the best way I can understand such drastic changes of personality is that the issues were there all along, the personality was there all along---it took a certain set of problems to bring them out. I guess none of us think of those possibilities when we're falling for someone.
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