Going through the process of breaking up with someone you still love.

[Hope40]

Hi My name is Hope40. I want to breakup with my boyfriend of 4 years. We are very much in love but we don't want the same things in life. He really wants kids and I don't. He still loves me too but the bottom line our idea of the future is very different. I think that neither of us want to end the relationship because we love each other but we know it needs to happen. I know he will be devastated and I worry about him too. I want to end it and move out. Can anyone share their experience with this or something similar that may help me walk through the fear.

[mightycpa]

Hope,

 

This forum is littered with stories about that. Have you talked with him about it yet?

 

If so, search the forum for "need break"

 

otherwise, search for "blindsided"

 

You'll find a variety of stories that will all end up sounding the same. Even the reactions are similar across all age groups and sexes.

[Mi7522]

You definitely need to talk to him about it and be sincere, he may not like what you're telling him but in the end if you are honest about everything in time he will respect you for how you went about dealing with the BU

[BlackbirdSong]

End it. Don't string him along, it'll only make things worse for him. If you truly want to be with him, allow him to discuss the whole kids thing. If you both still can't reach an agreement, then let him go.

[ZiggyZoo]

However you do it, please please go NC with him and stay that way. Too many stories on here about people having their exs get ahold of them and it just sends them into a tailspin. I had one "good" breakup where we had a calm but emotional conversation about how we weren't working. We ended it, more my decision than his, and I felt so horrible that I checked in twice, and he finally had to say that it hurt too much for me to do this. Now that I've been on the other side, I see what he meant.

 

Good luck, it's going to hurt like hell, but you're doing the right thing.

[SoThatHappened]

You love him.

 

You're different from each other.

 

Unless you find a way to co-exist and compromise, you're going to regret breaking up with someone you love.

 

Then you'll find yourself missing him and wanting him back, but you broke his heart and he moved on.

 

Truly loving each other means working things out. I know that wanting children vs. not wanting children is a big deal, but regretting leaving the love of your life can eat at you for a long time.

 

Time for you two to talk. Truly talk. If a compromise can't be reached, then you can breakup amicably. That's the best way out of it without having regret, IMO.