marie55567 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I been with my boyfriend for a month now and things are going well but there is something I am kinda concerned about. I saw my boyfriend comment on a girl's picture saying "hit me up" and that made me uncomfortable. I noticed he commented on other pictures from the same girl and she had like pictures of us on his instagram so I wonder if she's a friend. We had made plans for the future so I don't want to come across as accusing him of something. How do I go about this? Also can another option be that I can keep an eye to see if he still continues to comment on this girl's picture for alittle while longer before saying anything? Thanks. I really need some advice
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 It's best to always be honest and communicate with grace and dignity. If you start sweeping things under the rug, you end up driving yourself mental and making problems where they're usually aren't any. If his account is open meaning you're not hacking into his social media accounts and stalking his profiles, this all might just be innocent. Don't jump to conclusions just yet. Regardless, if it makes you uncomfortable you should express that to him and hope that he considers your feelings the next time he's online. 1
smackie9 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Don't sweat it, she is just a friend. BTW you NEED TO STOP checkin stuff on your BF's FB page and or messages on his cel. All it's going to do is drive you crazy. Your paranoid mind will poison your relationship. 3
Author marie55567 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 It's best to always be honest and communicate with grace and dignity. If you start sweeping things under the rug, you end up driving yourself mental and making problems where they're usually aren't any. If his account is open meaning you're not hacking into his social media accounts and stalking his profiles, this all might just be innocent. Don't jump to conclusions just yet. Regardless, if it makes you uncomfortable you should express that to him and hope that he considers your feelings the next time he's online. Yes that's true. We have each other on instagram. I feel too could be nothing because I trust him because he's been open to me about pretty much open so far. 1
smackie9 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 It's best to always be honest and communicate with grace and dignity. If you start sweeping things under the rug, you end up driving yourself mental and making problems where they're usually aren't any. If his account is open meaning you're not hacking into his social media accounts and stalking his profiles, this all might just be innocent. Don't jump to conclusions just yet. Regardless, if it makes you uncomfortable you should express that to him and hope that he considers your feelings the next time he's online. *****Only if you have probable cause to be concerned, which the OP does not. OP you are just getting pangs of jealousy that you need to address. Of course it's normal because you two are just newly together, but you need to keep it in check. He isn't doing anything inappropriate so you need to be careful about expressing your concerns at this time. Nothing worse than having your BF/GF scrutinizing your activity on social media and then telling you to stop any comminucation of the opposite sex because they don't like it. 1
Author marie55567 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Don't sweat it, she is just a friend. BTW you NEED TO STOP checkin stuff on your BF's FB page and or messages on his cel. All it's going to do is drive you crazy. Your paranoid mind will poison your relationship. I guess you're right and I think this has something to do with me being hurt in the past. We have each other on instagram and I feel I can trust him so I don't want to ruin what we got going. I know he isn't hiding me from his friends and family.
Author marie55567 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 *****Only if you have probable cause to be concerned, which the OP does not. OP you are just getting pangs of jealousy that you need to address. Of course it's normal because you two are just newly together, but you need to keep it in check. He isn't doing anything inappropriate so you need to be careful about expressing your concerns at this time. Nothing worse than having your BF/GF scrutinizing your activity on social media and then telling you to stop any comminucation of the opposite sex because they don't like it. Yeah you're right. I'm not exprienced when it comes to relationships so I'm learning
kendahke Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I think this has something to do with me being hurt in the past. your past is baggage you needed to have sorted out before entering into a new relationship. Because you didn't, you're trying to make him sort it for you. If you are operating from an unresolved incident someone else unrelated to this guy put you through, then you are not being fair to this boyfriend. He's not your past boyfriend(s). He hasn't done anything to warrant this reaction out of you. 1
Author marie55567 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 your past is baggage you needed to have sorted out before entering into a new relationship. Because you didn't, you're trying to make him sort it for you. If you are operating from an unresolved incident someone else unrelated to this guy put you through, then you are not being fair to this boyfriend. He's not your past boyfriend(s). He hasn't done anything to warrant this reaction out of you. I did get those issues resolved but when I saw the comment it kinda triggered something but other than that I left the past in the past. I already knew not to jump into conclusions but I really wanted to come here to make sure I make the right decision. All my friends say to confront him. Now before I would be so quick to do this without thinking. I didn't.
Wackkkk Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I been with my boyfriend for a month now and things are going well but there is something I am kinda concerned about. I saw my boyfriend comment on a girl's picture saying "hit me up" and that made me uncomfortable. I noticed he commented on other pictures from the same girl and she had like pictures of us on his instagram so I wonder if she's a friend. We had made plans for the future so I don't want to come across as accusing him of something. How do I go about this? Also can another option be that I can keep an eye to see if he still continues to comment on this girl's picture for alittle while longer before saying anything? Thanks. I really need some advice You need his password to his facebook. Check his phone. Can he be that stupid to leave comments like that knowing you may see them?- maybe he isn't hiding anything but if you have doubt, get his password check his phone, if he refuses he's hiding something. 1
kendahke Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 when in the last 4 weeks did he put the comment on that girl's picture? When in the last 4 weeks did you two have a discussion to become exclusive and committed? 1
kendahke Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 You need his password to his facebook. Check his phone. Can he be that stupid to leave comments like that knowing you may see them?- maybe he isn't hiding anything but if you have doubt, get his password check his phone, if he refuses he's hiding something. Absolutely do not do this!!! This is the first step down the slide towards break up. Unless you're his wife or you are paying his cell phone bill, what is on his phone is none of your business. His Facebook account password is also none of your business. If you have to stoop to doing all of this, then you need to leave this and go find another guy. 2
Vintage79 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I'd be careful, confronting someone after dating for only a month is tough. If you want to ask him about it, simply him who she is...it's not totally crazy, in particular if she commented on a picture that you're in. Just say "hey, I noticed this person commented on one of our pictures and was wondering who she was". If it's asking about why he's commenting on her pictures, or comments on pictures of just him, it sounds more stalker-ish...but if you're both in the picture with the comments, it can come across more as curiosity. If you don't press beyond that, it's kind of natural...maybe a bit forced, but not crazy. That said, I'd probably just avoid bringing it up if everything else seems good - why rock the boat, given that it's likely nothing? 1
Author marie55567 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Absolutely do not do this!!! This is the first step down the slide towards break up. Unless you're his wife or you are paying his cell phone bill, what is on his phone is none of your business. His Facebook account password is also none of your business. If you have to stoop to doing all of this, then you need to leave this and go find another guy. I don't need to do all that. I trust him.
Author marie55567 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 I'd be careful, confronting someone after dating for only a month is tough. If you want to ask him about it, simply him who she is...it's not totally crazy, in particular if she commented on a picture that you're in. Just say "hey, I noticed this person commented on one of our pictures and was wondering who she was". If it's asking about why he's commenting on her pictures, or comments on pictures of just him, it sounds more stalker-ish...but if you're both in the picture with the comments, it can come across more as curiosity. If you don't press beyond that, it's kind of natural...maybe a bit forced, but not crazy. That said, I'd probably just avoid bringing it up if everything else seems good - why rock the boat, given that it's likely nothing? It's probably nothing.
Author marie55567 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 when in the last 4 weeks did he put the comment on that girl's picture? When in the last 4 weeks did you two have a discussion to become exclusive and committed? We became exclusive on Feb 16. The comments appear to have been after we argreed to start the relationship. They don't appear to be anything serious I know things can be misconstrued online. 1
Wackkkk Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Absolutely do not do this!!! This is the first step down the slide towards break up. Unless you're his wife or you are paying his cell phone bill, what is on his phone is none of your business. His Facebook account password is also none of your business. If you have to stoop to doing all of this, then you need to leave this and go find another guy. I don't think as a wife you should ask for passwords, that's when I'll be concerned about breakups. Since its early in the relationship you need to catch him early, if you feel something isn't right it usually is, catch him early on. 1
smackie9 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 You need his password to his facebook. Check his phone. Can he be that stupid to leave comments like that knowing you may see them?- maybe he isn't hiding anything but if you have doubt, get his password check his phone, if he refuses he's hiding something. This is wrong on so many levels. If you need to check, you need to check out of having a relationship with anyone. 1
Author marie55567 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 I don't think as a wife you should ask for passwords, that's when I'll be concerned about breakups. Since its early in the relationship you need to catch him early, if you feel something isn't right it usually is, catch him early on. I agree. If the person is cheating it's good to catch it early on in the relationship instead of finding out later on the relationship!
Wackkkk Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 This is wrong on so many levels. If you need to check, you need to check out of having a relationship with anyone. Sure. Go with that. Do you know how many women are being played. Wife's think their in a happy committed relationship when in actuality they're being played like fools. A simple look, you can even try to be casual with it, say you want to play some game on his phone, or tell him you want to take a selfie to see how good the quality of his camera is and if he notices you going through his phone and gets upset pulls it away. He's hiding something. 1
Wackkkk Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I agree. If the person is cheating it's good to catch it early on in the relationship instead of finding out later on the relationship! I hate these " oh no no no never do that, that's totally nuts you are crazy for even thinking something like that". Don't ****ing try to make me feel bad when I'm trying to protect myself. 1
PumpkinLumpkin Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Leave him alone. He had a life before you and will have one after you. "Hit me up" just means get in touch with me soon. It doesn't mean let's have sex. Anyway why would he say that in public when he knew it would be visible to you? Leave him alone. 2
elaine567 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Leave him alone. He had a life before you and will have one after you. "Hit me up" just means get in touch with me soon. It doesn't mean let's have sex. Anyway why would he say that in public when he knew it would be visible to you? Leave him alone. Usually, but it can also mean "When a girl wants a guy to f*ck her. Damn boy you can come over and hit me up tonight." Urban Dictionary: hit me up 1
d0nnivain Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Confront is such a strong word / action so no don't do that. However, since it's bothering you can talk to him about it. Be gentle & respectful not accusatory because you don't really know what he meant by Hit me Up. It could have been anything from come over to have sex, to call me, to poke me on FB. Ask him how he'd feel if you commented like that to another guy. Work together to discuss what you both think is appropriate in your relationship. 1
Author marie55567 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 I hate these " oh no no no never do that, that's totally nuts you are crazy for even thinking something like that". Don't ****ing try to make me feel bad when I'm trying to protect myself. Yes exactly!
Recommended Posts