LooperDooper Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 (edited) It gets better. Much much better. I was a mess 2 weeks ago, couldn't accept things the way they ended. I went NC for about a week and couldn't handle it, I was depressed, I was down, and I had to (and still do) see her every damn day. I broke NC because I was a mess, yet it was the best thing I did. I realized she was on a different world, she didn't want me and I had to finally accept it, as much as it hurt. But guess what, I've gone 2 weeks NC since then, and I'm incredibly well. It used to be some days good others not so good, but it's literally been mostly good days. The occasional sadness is very short lasting. So here is what you need to do. DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO TO CHANGE YOUR MINDSET. For me it was realizing I had false hope while she left without looking back. I still think she probably cheated on me and hence why it was so easy for her to let go, she felt bad and didn't want to give it another shot on top of the fact that well she probably cheated on me because things weren't very well between us and the spark was lost. So what did I do? I changed my pattern. I changed everything. I started running 3-4 days a night and TRUST ME it is the best mind cleansing possible. It gets you out of your stupid little moping world and brings it out of you, literally, all that sad energy I felt I was liberating it, and well obviously it made me want to run everyday. What else did I do? I began going out with my friends. I began talking to my family and asking them for support. I don't know about you, but maybe I have some self-confidence issues and it helps to hear from the closest people in my life that I deserve better and that I should be thankful because she is the one who will regret it, she is the one who will look back and wonder, and I will continue looking up. So guess what? NOW IT'S YOUR TURN. Start taking care of yourself, convince yourself you are amazing, you were an extremely good SO and that the only person losing is he or she. We become stuck in a stupid cycle where we lament the past for what we didn't do, but if you start thinking correctly she or he didn't do many things that solidify a relationship. Go out, get drunk if you want, don't shave if you want, don't shower if you want, eat whatever the hell you want and think of only you. But then start looking up, take care, look good, smell good, dress well, smile all the ****ing time, pretend he/she doesn't exist, use your "wanting to get back" energy into NC (block them, delete them, ignore them, hate them) and make sure you FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. I'm telling you this because 2 weeks ago I thought I'd be a mess for months. But literally one night I was so fed up and I broke NC to the point where I realized it starts with one simple change in your mindset. Let go of the hope and start thinking ahead of your life WITHOUT them, and I mean without them forever. And you have no idea how good it makes it to SMILE and LOOK UP, never be ashamed and never blame yourself. A relationship is between two people and that's the failure of it, not you. So get those ****ty thoughts out of your head and start living, you have no idea how a change in mindset makes you realize how many people would be extremely lucky to have you in their life. Also guys, don't think about her sexually ever again. Refrain from bringing those thoughts, you need to go through a sexual withdrawal. That means no pulling the goalie for a good 2 weeks. If you believe me, it will make you feel better, make you look better and trust me, people will be attracted to you. Try it and you'll see. Cheer up guys, this is life and this is part of it. Start making yourselves better and stronger. Show them THEY lost out, THEY aren't worth it, and that YOU are much better without them. Start meeting other people, start networking, start flirting to get your confidence back. Don't jump into another relationship, but just start meeting new people and enjoy yourself until you feel confident, strong and are back on your feet. Things do change. Edited March 17, 2015 by LooperDooper 11
ApexTitanium Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Its cold outside....my rabbit hole may be painful but its warm in there. Lol 1
ASV Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Great post. Thanks for taking the effort to share your experience.
Murtz Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 My life didn't start getting better after my relationship until I started having a life. Now I am happier than ever. This is great advice.
HBK3317 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 That sir was very very amazing. Thanks for sharing.
Author LooperDooper Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Hi all, today marks what would've been my anniversary with her. Even though I've been feeling really good with my life and with NC, today feels a little nostalgic and a bit sad to remember we were lied to, probably cheated on and left as if we didn't mean much. Just wanted to tell everybody to keep strong and to continue giving other people support. This site has helped me a lot even if just to read other people's stories because we all hurt just the same and we aren't alone.
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