zeeetaar Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 So I dated this amazing guy for 2 weeks, we both liked each other for a while but both of us were in relationship at the time until now. He broke up with me a while ago because "this was a lot more serious then i expected and i reckon we should end it now before it progresses" We saw each other once or twice a week to have sex and other stuff but we hardly talked outside of it. i did spam him a tad, probably one text a day to see if he was free to chill or to send him links to thing i though were cool. But we used to talk to each other a lot before he got a girl friend. I did just get over my ex which we were quite serious so i think im acting like that towards him.. Im not too sad about it but it made me wonder what is "serious" and whats the alternative How should I improve myself for future relationships? How should I act? How does everyone act when they just start dating a new person?
Redhead14 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 So I dated this amazing guy for 2 weeks, we both liked each other for a while but both of us were in relationship at the time until now. He broke up with me a while ago because "this was a lot more serious then i expected and i reckon we should end it now before it progresses" We saw each other once or twice a week to have sex and other stuff but we hardly talked outside of it. i did spam him a tad, probably one text a day to see if he was free to chill or to send him links to thing i though were cool. But we used to talk to each other a lot before he got a girl friend. I did just get over my ex which we were quite serious so i think im acting like that towards him.. Im not too sad about it but it made me wonder what is "serious" and whats the alternative How should I improve myself for future relationships? How should I act? How does everyone act when they just start dating a new person? In the very beginning of a dating scenario, emotions and expectations need to be managed. At two weeks, spending that much time together and having sex is putting a lot of pressure on the situation and clouding the ability to let a relationship develop naturally if it is going to develop. Generally, when a woman has sex with a man, her emotions get involved quickly and she begins to behave in a way that is perhaps a little overwhelming to the man. He senses that she's getting attached too quickly and will push her way most of the time to protect her feelings as well as his. Men don't generally get too emotionally involved just because they have sex with a woman. It's just sex. When you first start dating someone, approach it in stages. Simply date for a month or so and enjoy the time to get to know the person a little better. During that time you should be having at least one casual conversation about what you each our looking for out of your dating experiences, i.e. casual relationship, long-term committed relationship, etc. to make sure you two are on the same page about goals in general. Not everyone is looking for a committed relationship. Just because you begin dating someone, it doesn't mean it's a relationship or boyfriend/girlfriend yet. You don't know enough about each other to make that kind of declaration. If the dating pair is on the same page for that, and the time for intimacy arrives, you should be in the next stage of dating -- exclusivity. This is the point where you both have decided to focus on each other and not date or be intimate with anyone else. At this point, you are exploring levels of compatibility including sexually. This is the time for evaluating whether the two of them want to be committed as boyfriend and girlfriend and for the long-term. Even this period is a period of evaluation because if you are looking for marriage, this is the time for determining whether or not you will marry each other. All through the process you should be managing your emotions and expectations, knowing that at some point there could arise issues and situations that may cause one or the other to move on. I'm not saying you should focus or worry about that happening either. You should be in the moment, observing and enjoy the time with that person. If you hadn't had this kind of a conversation with this man, it may be that he wasn't really searching for a girlfriend, just a casual fling or short-term thing. Since this man wasn't showing much interest between dates and having sex with you, it is likely he just wanted sex. If a man isn't calling or keeping in touch with you consistently and over a period of time, don't have sex with them. It's OK if you want to have sex with a man, just keep your emotions and expectations in check until you know what his intentions are.
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 It varies from person to person. What you described sounded pretty casual to me but for whatever reason it was more than this guy wanted. It could be as simple as he was starting to feel something but because he didn't want to, he ended it. People do strange things. Let him go.
PegNosePete Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 It sounds like he started to have feelings for you, but ended it either because he wanted to stay with his GF, or thought you weren't going to end it with your BF. How should I improve myself for future relationships? Do not enter into a new relationship before ending the last one. Do not enter into a relationship with someone who is already taken.
regine_phalange Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Serious is when both people take the relationship (and themselves) too seriously. Casual is when one of the two people takes the relationship too seriously. I don't like the word "serious". It's kind of depressing. I don't like the word "casual" either if it's not related to activewear.
Author zeeetaar Posted April 13, 2015 Author Posted April 13, 2015 Sorry, i think you might have misread Both of us just got out of a semi serious relationship that ended last year so we were both single Just needed to clear that up haha
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