Mid-30s men, would you marry a late-30s woman?

March 25, 2015

Just freeze your eggs, Rubby. I did. 15k total.

Pronto. Now you can date with less anxiety

That's great but also amazing and an exception rather than the rule. After 40 you have a 2-4 % chance of getting pregnant every month, 97% of your eggs are gone. Out of those very few are viable and many result in Miscarriage. She should absolutely pay close attention to numbers, and I stand on that.

Source;What Happens to a Woman's Fertility After 40 - SELF

But there are many more sources, OP see if you can freeze your eggs as well.

March 25, 2015

[ten characters]

Well I never said all woman but it some woman do this and I run for the hills no thanks.

I know I have my issues but I do not want to be some chicks last hope for marriage and kids.

I am sure a female would not like to be a guys last hope right?

Also good for America needs more good woman there becoming unicorns hard to find.

March 25, 2015

I wouldn't want to be the settle guy at any age. If I saw that a woman had a history of dating bad boys and I was the first nice guy she dated I would say see ya but that is the case if she is 25 or 45.

March 25, 2015

Im not mid 30's anymore. That was like 5 years ago for me.

When I was in my early 30's,my friends mom's warned me that because of my good looks, I was going to attract women in their mid to late 30's who are "Baby Crazy"...as she put it.

We have this Idea that male sexuality and instinct is somehow impure and earthly, whereas a woman's desire to have children comes from a pure desire that is born from heaven above. At the end of the day, a man's urge to have sex constantly, and a woman's desire to have children are kind of the same thing at some level.

I am not heartless, and I can definitely empathize with women who want to have a family later in life. I am just wondering if this is such a good idea. Its not about men being irresponsible or immature...This has nothing to do with it. If there was a massive and sudden population reduction on the planet, To the point that it was clear that more people are needed, I would be the first to volunteer to have a giant family! In that case it WOULD be my responsibility as a man to have children.

Faced with the prospect of a woman who is looking for marriage and children these days, I will usually back away. Why? Because on the first couple dates, I am made aware of her desire. That puts me in an odd position as a man. I want to see were it could lead, yet I don't want to be in the way of what she wants in life. It makes me wonder if her desire to have children is stronger than her desire to form a loving bond with me. Would it really be a family?

Being that these women are pressed for time, I don't like the idea of "fast-tracking" the relationship to marriage and then family. And indeed that is what it would take. As a man I need to be living with a women for at least 4 years first, to take such a risk. I would want to know that there was a good reason for having children, other than, "I just want one".

Dating a women who already has children is a safer bet. It is difficult at my age to find women who do not want kids or who don't already have them. It would be great to find women who don't desire children, but they are harder to find it seems.

March 25, 2015

[ten characters]

Guys don't want to feel like the last compromised choice that a woman makes under the pressures of making a hurried effort to settle down and have a family...especially if she's spent her twenties roaming around with random men, having a light carefree life but now wants Mr perfect husband material...a lot of guys are going to get a feeling and say, get back in that merrygoround and find someone else.

It doesn't feel good to be in that situation, even if she's spent her whole life looking for the right guy...unfortunately there's also all too often emotional baggage as she's invested a good chunk of her youth on wanting for Mr. Potential to settle down with her. Let alone the heartbreak she's endured.

The younger the woman, the less likely shes been at that point with all those experiences of different men and loves lost. Often times women become jaded or scarred from those experiences, or just plain worn out from giving out all their love to someone that didn't last...which is not our fault, but men suffer the crunch because of it...."I'm tired of wasting my time...I want a relationship and someone serious...you there! Be that man for me!":confused:

That's the pressure and expectation he's talking about, as if it's his fault for the choices you made and that you feel you want or deserve this or that....without reflecting on your choices in the past, and furthermore feel they have no bearing, or if anything leaving you feeling entitled to something now...after all you "deserve" it for chasing around all those men that didn't work out, your number is up by now, kind of mentality.

March 25, 2015

It's so weird that men here seem to care about who a woman slept or didn't sleep with. Who cares?

I see a lot of men answer on okcupid to that question about how experienced you'd like your lover to be? - they all say "Very experienced". I also want a partner who's been around and knows how to have good sex.

I didn't want to get married in my early 30s. I had things to do, places to go, I had to take care of my career. Now I am looking for marriage, so what? Does it make me less than a good person? In what planet? Are we talking about small cities where people gossip?

I don't care about why a man didn't get married before, I sincerely don't care if he banged the whole town or continent before. What I care about is where did he arrive after that, the lessons he learned from it, what he wants NOW and in the future.

Honestly I am also not interested in men who are so small-minded. I like wordly men with open minds.

Guys don't want to feel like the last compromised choice that a woman makes under the pressures of making a hurried effort to settle down and have a family...especially if she's spent her twenties roaming around with random men, having a light carefree life but now wants Mr perfect husband material...a lot of guys are going to get a feeling and say, get back in that merrygoround and find someone else.

It doesn't feel good to be in that situation, even if she's spent her whole life looking for the right guy...unfortunately there's also all too often emotional baggage as she's invested a good chunk of her youth on wanting for Mr. Potential to settle down with her. Let alone the heartbreak she's endured.

The younger the woman, the less likely shes been at that point with all those experiences of different men and loves lost. Often times women become jaded or scarred from those experiences, or just plain worn out from giving out all their love to someone that didn't last...which is not our fault, but men suffer the crunch because of it...."I'm tired of wasting my time...I want a relationship and someone serious...you there! Be that man for me!":confused:

That's the pressure and expectation he's talking about, as if it's his fault for the choices you made and that you feel you want or deserve this or that....without reflecting on your choices in the past, and furthermore feel they have no bearing, or if anything leaving you feeling entitled to something now...after all you "deserve" it for chasing around all those men that didn't work out, your number is up by now, kind of mentality.

March 25, 2015

It's so weird that men here seem to care about who a woman slept or didn't sleep with. Who cares?

I see a lot of men answer on okcupid to that question about how experienced you'd like your lover to be? - they all say "Very experienced". I also want a partner who's been around and knows how to have good sex.

I didn't want to get married in my early 30s. I had things to do, places to go, I had to take care of my career. Now I am looking for marriage, so what? Does it make me less than a good person? In what planet? Are we talking about small cities where people gossip?

I don't care about why a man didn't get married before, I sincerely don't care if he banged the whole town or continent before. What I care about is where did he arrive after that, the lessons he learned from it, what he wants NOW and in the future.

Honestly I am also not interested in men who are so small-minded. I like wordly men with open minds.

Try to put yourself in the shoes of a man married to a woman that doesn't fancy him and is pretty much being used as a glorified sperm donor. Look at the trainwreck that these marriages become once the baby comes.

March 25, 2015

It's so weird that men here seem to care about who a woman slept or didn't sleep with. Who cares?

I see a lot of men answer on okcupid to that question about how experienced you'd like your lover to be? - they all say "Very experienced". I also want a partner who's been around and knows how to have good sex.

I didn't want to get married in my early 30s. I had things to do, places to go, I had to take care of my career. Now I am looking for marriage, so what? Does it make me less than a good person? In what planet? Are we talking about small cities where people gossip?

I don't care about why a man didn't get married before, I sincerely don't care if he banged the whole town or continent before. What I care about is where did he arrive after that, the lessons he learned from it, what he wants NOW and in the future.

Honestly I am also not interested in men who are so small-minded. I like wordly men with open minds.

Because a lot of men don't like the idea of their wife being banged by the whole town.

You're not a naive 20 something, so I'm assuming by now you know better than to take those responses on OKcupid whole-heartedly, a lot of those responses are conditioned responses...men know what women want to hear...It's like casual sex versus looking for a relationship...any half brained guy is going to put relationship even If he doesn't want one because it increases his chances. But in your case yes, men do typically want women who are good in bed but not necessarily with the long track record.

Women also tend to care about the now and a lot less about a man's past...maybe because it makes it easier to forget or ignore their own, or its just what they want now that is most important...but men tend to see women as different levels and type of quality...If they get the impression you are not the right quality for relationship or marriage , they'll just sleep with you and do whatever but in the end leave you for some other reason

At a point men won't care at all where you've been and what you've done, but that might be more that they know they won't be with you in the long term rather than truly respect you, which means anything goes really...but they have no stake in you otherwise, so they won't care what you do or have done in the past since its irrelevant, it's just temporary.

There's two sides to every coin, men are not as straight forward as they may portray themselves to be.

March 25, 2015

I'm 36 and I don't have a problem with dating and having a long term relationship with an older woman. The last woman I dated was 5 years older. She had some wrinkles, had veiny hands (which she pointed out to me since I didn't even notice), but I didn't care about any of that. She was beautiful to me. Unfortunately nothing came about it, since she freaked out from me being available for a relationship. We could have made some sweet and sexy long term love together. I think my hard cut off is a 6-8 year older woman than me.

March 25, 2015

I'm going to be 35 this year and my BF just turned 31. Granted, we still both have some time to figure things out.

FWIW, the last guy I dated was that many years older than me and had previously been married himself for four years (one year out of his marriage). He came with a raft of issues. Conversely, I spent most of my 20s voluntarily single, have never been married, and have no kids.

March 25, 2015

I'm 31 and just coming into the peak of my looks, physicality, physique, Social status and career. There's absolutely no way on earth I'd date someone my own age- I only go for 20-26 year olds- I intend to make up for lost time on the girls I couldn't get when I was younger because I was sexually invisible to women- you know, the old cliche that younger women only go for older men, which is absolutely correct.

As a previous commentator said, younger girls are hotter, slimmer, have a lower N count and come with far less emotional baggage, i.e. Just a lot more fun to be around. The 35+ careerists I've been set up with have (by and large) been awfully entitled and demanding of potential suitors. I guess that's why they are still single at the wrong side of 35! You make your bed, you gotta lie in it.

March 25, 2015

I'm 31 and just coming into the peak of my looks, physicality, physique, Social status and career. There's absolutely no way on earth I'd date someone my own age- I only go for 20-26 year olds- I intend to make up for lost time on the girls I couldn't get when I was younger because I was sexually invisible to women- you know, the old cliche that younger women only go for older men, which is absolutely correct.

LOL, yea right. Creepy.

March 25, 2015

I'm 31 and just coming into the peak of my looks, physicality, physique, Social status and career. There's absolutely no way on earth I'd date someone my own age- I only go for 20-26 year olds- I intend to make up for lost time on the girls I couldn't get when I was younger because I was sexually invisible to women- you know, the old cliche that younger women only go for older men, which is absolutely correct.

As a previous commentator said, younger girls are hotter, slimmer, have a lower N count and come with far less emotional baggage, i.e. Just a lot more fun to be around. The 35+ careerists I've been set up with have (by and large) been awfully entitled and demanding of potential suitors. I guess that's why they are still single at the wrong side of 35! You make your bed, you gotta lie in it.

And what of men who are still single, on the wrong side of 35?

Your attitude doesn't look good on any man.

March 25, 2015

My wife is funner to be around than any woman in her early 20s I dated and I did briefly date some 21 or 22 year olds when I was single. I would rather me with the woman I married any day though.

March 25, 2015

And what of men who are still single, on the wrong side of 35?

Your attitude doesn't look good on any man.

Typical feminism trope used to shame men for being attracted to what is perfectly natural to them- a younger, feminine female.

Next you'll be telling me to 'man-up' and make an honest women of someone who was wild in her twenties, slept around etc and now in her thirties with her biological clock ticking, wants to settle down, so an older provider man should fall in line and step up to the plate. Such a massive double standard.

I mean look at Hollywood and all the celebrity men in their late 30s dating women in their twenties- I guess that's acceptable and ok because they're in the limelight right? Chris Martin (38) and Jennifer Lawrence (24) come to mind. So enough with shaming- men will always be attracted to younger females whether they chose to admit it or not.

March 25, 2015

LOL, yea right. Creepy.

Creepy, how so? So what is a suitable 'morally correct' age gap then? Please do elaborate after making such a flippant comment.

March 25, 2015

Creepy, how so? So what is a suitable 'morally correct' age gap then? Please do elaborate after making such a flippant comment.

First of all, a 20 years old is a bit young for a 31 years old. When I was 20 I would never have dated a guy that age, so I don't know what kind of girls you attract. Most girls I know still wouldn't date older guys, as you think. I never went for older guys (my maximum was 4 years older than me). Besides that, I think most women actually hit their prime in their late 20ies. 20 years old look like teens IMO (me included), but I guess that depends on the individual taste.

Creepy I said because it's creepy when a guy ONLY wants to date women much younger than him and says all other women have emotional baggage or are unattractive. It looks like you have a over the top self esteem and would dump a woman when she reaches 30 just to replace her by a new, shiny 20 years old.

March 25, 2015

I'm 31 and just coming into the peak of my looks, physicality, physique, Social status and career. There's absolutely no way on earth I'd date someone my own age- I only go for 20-26 year olds- I intend to make up for lost time on the girls I couldn't get when I was younger because I was sexually invisible to women- you know, the old cliche that younger women only go for older men, which is absolutely correct.

As a previous commentator said, younger girls are hotter, slimmer, have a lower N count and come with far less emotional baggage, i.e. Just a lot more fun to be around. The 35+ careerists I've been set up with have (by and large) been awfully entitled and demanding of potential suitors. I guess that's why they are still single at the wrong side of 35! You make your bed, you gotta lie in it.

Ironically, most of the guy friends that I know who lived by this philosophy are now in their late 30's -early 40's and single with way fewer options. Whenever they did have a relationship with a hot woman of 20-26, she ended up breaking it off for a single life/ travel/career or a better relationship. Smart woman of this age aren't looking to settle down. They just want lifestyle. Fun. They have plenty of time to find "Mr Right" But you will miss the big wave of awesome woman in their late twenties getting snapped up by awesome men while your attention in on young woman who are just looking for Mr right now. What's left in the wash up is more of what you are trying to avoid by doing it this way.

People should focus on potential partners that have similar life and time line goals. Those are the things that really matter.. not what year you were born. How a pair can achieve those individually desired milestones in life, together, is what's important.

March 25, 2015

Ruby oh Ruby...where to start...

I will not insult you, but I will not sugar code anything. I will be as realistic as I possibly can.

I will not take serious a woman over 30 no matter my age.

When I was in my 20s I dated women in their 30s because they were easy. Sure I would go out with girls my age, but because sometimes it took a while to get to their pants I would take a 30yo on the side so I can keep myself entertained while waiting for the "real" relationship (the younger girl) to get physical.

Then when I hit 30 and my career took off I no longer needed the supporting cast, so I dumped them altogether. Since then I think I had one or two, but I cannot recall anyone over 35, Lord no!

Are there men in their 30s who will date a woman who is almost 40? SURE. In fact, you have dated them already but "it didn't work out". We both know why and it has a lot to do with the educational/financial status of the guy. Men of low income will be less picky than men of higher income, and men of higher income will rather date young, intelligent, single women, whether for fun or for a serious relationship.

My advice is that, as you have noticed, your choices are getting less and less attractive, so if I was you I would not waste a second. Get down to reality and find the best man you can. Things will only go down from there.

March 25, 2015

Ruby oh Ruby...where to start...

I will not insult you, but I will not sugar code anything. I will be as realistic as I possibly can.

I will not take serious a woman over 30 no matter my age.

When I was in my 20s I dated women in their 30s because they were easy. Sure I would go out with girls my age, but because sometimes it took a while to get to their pants I would take a 30yo on the side so I can keep myself entertained while waiting for the "real" relationship (the younger girl) to get physical.

Then when I hit 30 and my career took off I no longer needed the supporting cast, so I dumped them altogether. Since then I think I had one or two, but I cannot recall anyone over 35, Lord no!

Are there men in their 30s who will date a woman who is almost 40? SURE. In fact, you have dated them already but "it didn't work out". We both know why and it has a lot to do with the educational/financial status of the guy. Men of low income will be less picky than men of higher income, and men of higher income will rather date young, intelligent, single women, whether for fun or for a serious relationship.

My advice is that, as you have noticed, your choices are getting less and less attractive, so if I was you I would not waste a second. Get down to reality and find the best man you can. Things will only go down from there.

BUT frankly you are not the type of man Ruby wants to attract, so you can have your opinion, but not all men are you, and not all men have your mentality either.

You pick up young girls for sex once or twice, and then ditch them in case they cause you trouble.

That works for you, (you already have a wife), because many young women are just looking for casual sex, and so do not really care where they get it from, it is just fun.

Young, intelligent, educated women are not looking for relationships at 20-25, they have at least up to 10 years to find a man, and they are not going to be saddled with an "old" man when they do.

No, they are then going to be looking at their own age group to settle down and have kids with. Million.to.1 is correct, there is going to be a lot of upset older men, who one day will realise the 20 year old hotties just dried up, and what is available and what they want, will not be interested in them. They missed the boat.

March 25, 2015

Ironically, most of the guy friends that I know who lived by this philosophy are now in their late 30's -early 40's and single with way fewer options. Whenever they did have a relationship with a hot woman of 20-26, she ended up breaking it off for a single life/ travel/career or a better relationship. Smart woman of this age aren't looking to settle down. They just want lifestyle. Fun.

People should focus on potential partners that have similar life and time line goals. Those are the things that really matter.. not what year you were born. How a pair can achieve those individually desired milestones in life, together, is what's important.

I agree and that's exactly what I want, just fun. I have no intention of settling down yet, but only now I've been able to get the younger women.

March 25, 2015

BUT frankly you are not the type of man Ruby wants to attract, so you can have your opinion, but not all men are you, and not all men have your mentality either.

Jeebus, thank god for that, too.

March 26, 2015

Wow, the topic of women and aging really brings out the hate. I wonder why this is such a loaded topic? Aging is natural. Every living thing does it.

I don't care about age - my own or men's - that much. I'm also terrible at guessing people's ages. I feel like I just see into the person, and the essence of a person is ageless.

SawtoothMars, the age range I'm considering is older than I up to 49. So far I've mostly had relationships with slightly older men, no more than a couple of years older, and that is my preference. Older than me so he gets the psychological kick of being with a younger women, not much older so he can match my high level of stamina, or come close.

edgygirl, I tend to agree with everything you said. I accepted this invite because though this man is 3 years younger, we have an uncanny number of things in common. He's exceptionally intelligent, a gentleman but not a wuss, proactive, inquisitive, positive, romantic, masculine, has a larger vision in life, ambitious but not so ambitious that work totally consumes his life, and cute but not prettier than me I feel like he's someone who could actually be a friend/dude to go out with for socializing, at the very least, so I'm looking forward to meeting him just to meet a cool new person. If we feel a romantic spark, great! But I'll let it be whatever it is.

I think the men make some good points about not leading with the desire for marriage and family. I've never brought up these topics first, and I don't imagine I'll change on that. I've noticed that men who want the same things bring them up fairly quickly. Not asking me to marry them and bear their children, but establishing what we both hope for with respect to marriage and family.

Try to put yourself in the shoes of a man married to a woman that doesn't fancy him and is pretty much being used as a glorified sperm donor.

This is why I left my last boyfriend. I got the feeling he was looking for a submissive, dependent wife, mother, and homemaker who would be just another game piece in his highly managed life. In fact, he pretty much told me this at the very end. He said he wanted a "50s style marriage" where he was the leader of the household. If I would only submit to his rule, I would be taken care of for life. It had a certain appeal, but without the sweetness of real love, it was almost meaningless to me. And sounded like a sort of prison. If I had planned to "settle" into a comfortable arrangement, he would have been the perfect candidate for that.

Ironically, most of the guy friends that I know who lived by this philosophy are now in their late 30's -early 40's and single with way fewer options.

I have gotten this impression from several of the long-term bachelors in their early 40s I've talked with (and declined to meet because of their attitudes).

March 26, 2015

Look at the divorce forum. Men don't want to become one of those guys and the best way to become is marrying a woman when she is in clock ticking mode. This has very little to do with age though. Do you guys understand how scared the walkaway wife trend has men when it comes to marriage? We want to prevent it happening to us.

March 26, 2015

I didn't want to get married in my early 30s. I had things to do, places to go, I had to take care of my career. Now I am looking for marriage, so what? Does it make me less than a good person? In what planet? Are we talking about small cities where people gossip?

Has nothing to do with you being good or bad as a person. Putting other things ahead of getting married does do make a woman less marketable as wife material due to greatly increased risk of birth defects. The tv show Life Goes On made having a Corky appear OK. I know 40's "child" her mom's gone, and her dad looks 80. She has no one once her dad is gone. Her life will drastically change once he is gone.

Too many people have bought the and drank the Kool-Aid where too much emphasis is placed on the me, and they can have it all. After all they deserve it.

One only deserves what they earn. And life is not just about "me".

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