Mid-30s men, would you marry a late-30s woman?

March 25, 2015

I'm 38, ready for marriage and kids. I've been dating after my last breakup for 6 months or so, have met some decent guys but no Mr. Right. I seem to go through phases where I attract a few men of a similar type. The latest wave is men slightly younger than I - 32 to 37.

My last relationship was with a man 5 years younger. He was serious and talking marriage, but he wasn't the right guy for me. Right after the breakup, my conservative older sister told me to pick an older man next time.

I quickly pass over men who aren't clearly relationship-minded, serious, and gentlemanly in their flirtation. I'm very selective, because I have no time or interest in fiddling around with guys who aren't serious.

I know that by and large, men prefer younger women. So I feel slightly skeptical about younger men. I have a first date this weekend with a man who seems pretty great, seems interested, has handled everything right so far. He's 35.

I'm curious to know what mid-30s men think about this. Would you seriously date and marry a woman a few years older than you, or no?

March 25, 2015

Yes Ruby, and I'm early 30's. Based on the threads I read about your last relationship you struck me as very intense, both physically and emotionally, and I'd be surprised if an older guy could handle you. Plus you know how to charm men so keeping a younger one shouldn't be an issue.

March 25, 2015

I'm 36 and want kids...realistically, I'd probably go out with someone a few years older, but probably just for a fling...I'm just being honest. I'd realistically target someone my age or a bit younger, so we had a bit of time to get to know each other and still have kids as an option. At 40+ birth defects are sky high, and I don't want to deal with that.

I don't envy single women 38+ who want to have kids...I wish you the best.

March 25, 2015

I certainly would. All of my best relationships involved women in their late thirties and I saw the most long-term potential in them.

March 25, 2015

No way if a woman has never been married and past 30 it a red flag to me. I know I am 30 and never been married but how many time in the history of the wold has a female ask a guy to marry her?

I could see if she just turned 30 and was going to get married and was engaged but he died or it got broken off for what ever reason.

I want a female with only a carry on of emotion baggage not a u haul trucks worth of baggage.

Let me say the OP might be a great person I am just saying I seen woman in there 30s that bounced around from guy to guy like it the thing to do. Hell I seen it in my own family and who wants to date a 30+ year old female with 3 kids by 3 different men and been riding a D carousel for 15 years. Jumping from guy to guy and think they deserve a good guy give me a break.

March 25, 2015

I'm 36 and I'm currently looking at dating a 30-34 year old.

The primary reason is that of practicality. I'm not the kind of person to rush into marriage 6 months after meeting someone.

Ideally, I'd like to date seriously for at least a year before deciding on taking things further. I appreciate that many older women don't have the time to "take it slow" and see how things pan out.

I feel there's a lot of pressure there to "make up your mind" quickly and decide. I just don't believe you can build a stable, long term relationship that way.

I'd also like to have children of my own in the next 5 years (if not sooner). The chances of having healthy offspring are better for younger women.

I would however point out that everyone is different. Many men appreciate an older women. I think older women are great and if I wasn't concerned about children, I'd seriously consider dating one.

Edited March 25, 2015 by neowulf

March 25, 2015

It is not only about the women being younger.

Younger women are usually thinner, have less wrinkles and are generally significantly more attractive than older women.

If you look good for your age and you are just as slim and attractive as a woman who is early 30's - men your age wouldn't want younger.

If you don't like competing with younger more attractive women who have less forehead lines - there is always botox and ways to look several years younger if it bothers you. Which I don't think it really does.

Personally, there is no way I will reach my late or even MID 30's, and age totally naturally. A bit of botox makes you years younger. But that is just me hah.

March 25, 2015

I'm 38, ready for marriage and kids. I've been dating after my last breakup for 6 months or so, have met some decent guys but no Mr. Right. I seem to go through phases where I attract a few men of a similar type. The latest wave is men slightly younger than I - 32 to 37.

My last relationship was with a man 5 years younger. He was serious and talking marriage, but he wasn't the right guy for me. Right after the breakup, my conservative older sister told me to pick an older man next time.

I quickly pass over men who aren't clearly relationship-minded, serious, and gentlemanly in their flirtation. I'm very selective, because I have no time or interest in fiddling around with guys who aren't serious.

I know that by and large, men prefer younger women. So I feel slightly skeptical about younger men. I have a first date this weekend with a man who seems pretty great, seems interested, has handled everything right so far. He's 35.

I'm curious to know what mid-30s men think about this. Would you seriously date and marry a woman a few years older than you, or no?

Hi Ruby, I don't mean this comment to be snarky at all, I totally understand where you are at in life as I am a bit younger and was faced with a similar situation when I was 33 going on 34. I glanced at the future and just knew if I didn't get serious I would have no hope of having a husband or a family. I strongly urge you to date older men, at least 7-10 yrs older, the mid thirties men are statistically going younger. Think about this, you are 38, you meet the right guy now, you will want to date for at least a year to a year and a half before engagement. This places you at 40 or 41 by the time you are married. Fertility drops sharply after 40. The actresses you hear about having babies after 40 are using DONOR eggs ( I'm looking at you Halle Berry) you will either need IVF or a surrogate or adoption. For this to happen you need a successful accomplished man; a doctor, lawyer, tech field etc. these things take $$$, please be realistic and ask yourself if you are really serious about marriage and kids and not ambivalent (trying to go for younger men) or I fear the things you want will pass you by.

March 25, 2015

I had a 33yo propose to me when I was 38... I declined moved on & ended up conceiving at 41 to a 46yo.

Anything is possible. Don't be too hung up over numbers. Do what feels right.

March 25, 2015

That's great but also amazing and an exception rather than the rule. After 40 you have a 2-4 % chance of getting pregnant every month, 97% of your eggs are gone. Out of those very few are viable and many result in Miscarriage. She should absolutely pay close attention to numbers, and I stand on that.

Source;What Happens to a Woman's Fertility After 40 - SELF

But there are many more sources, OP see if you can freeze your eggs as well.

March 25, 2015

I'll be 34 in a few months and no I have no interest in dating a late 30's woman. Granted I can't see why an older women would be interested in me.

At this stage of my life I exclusively want younger women. Perhaps when I am more stable I would consider same age or older.

March 25, 2015

I wouldn't marry a late 30's woman if she wanted kids...I decided to not have kids after reaching your age as I'm likely thinking men of a certain age don't want to have kids either..not attracted to the idea of being an elderly parent.

I'm 38, ready for marriage and kids. I've been dating after my last breakup for 6 months or so, have met some decent guys but no Mr. Right. I seem to go through phases where I attract a few men of a similar type. The latest wave is men slightly younger than I - 32 to 37.

My last relationship was with a man 5 years younger. He was serious and talking marriage, but he wasn't the right guy for me. Right after the breakup, my conservative older sister told me to pick an older man next time.

I quickly pass over men who aren't clearly relationship-minded, serious, and gentlemanly in their flirtation. I'm very selective, because I have no time or interest in fiddling around with guys who aren't serious.

I know that by and large, men prefer younger women. So I feel slightly skeptical about younger men. I have a first date this weekend with a man who seems pretty great, seems interested, has handled everything right so far. He's 35.

I'm curious to know what mid-30s men think about this. Would you seriously date and marry a woman a few years older than you, or no?

March 25, 2015

No way if a woman has never been married and past 30 it a red flag to me. I know I am 30 and never been married but how many time in the history of the wold has a female ask a guy to marry her?

I could see if she just turned 30 and was going to get married and was engaged but he died or it got broken off for what ever reason.

I want a female with only a carry on of emotion baggage not a u haul trucks worth of baggage.

Let me say the OP might be a great person I am just saying I seen woman in there 30s that bounced around from guy to guy like it the thing to do. Hell I seen it in my own family and who wants to date a 30+ year old female with 3 kids by 3 different men and been riding a D carousel for 15 years. Jumping from guy to guy and think they deserve a good guy give me a break.

Just FYI, what you've seen in your own family isn't the rule across the board. I'm late 20's and unmarried, and I have only been with 2 men, and am going on 2 years celibate. I don't have a U-Haul of emotional baggage. Now if you just want to spit on women in general, have at it.

March 25, 2015

No way if a woman has never been married and past 30 it a red flag to me. I know I am 30 and never been married but how many time in the history of the wold has a female ask a guy to marry her?

I could see if she just turned 30 and was going to get married and was engaged but he died or it got broken off for what ever reason.

I want a female with only a carry on of emotion baggage not a u haul trucks worth of baggage.

Let me say the OP might be a great person I am just saying I seen woman in there 30s that bounced around from guy to guy like it the thing to do. Hell I seen it in my own family and who wants to date a 30+ year old female with 3 kids by 3 different men and been riding a D carousel for 15 years. Jumping from guy to guy and think they deserve a good guy give me a break.

Your comment is just plain ignorant

If I offend you

I don't apologize for that!

And fyi

Girls who are 16 years bounce from guy to guy as well, just in case you lived in a cave and you didn't know that

March 25, 2015

At 35, I was more apt to date a 29 year old or a 39 year old than I was to date a 34 year old who had her eye on marriage/kids.

March 25, 2015

When we met, DH was 34 & I was 39. Don't use a calendar to measure the man. Evaluate the person who is much more than his age.

March 25, 2015

I'm curious to know what mid-30s men think about this. Would you seriously date and marry a woman a few years older than you, or no?

When I was about your age, I dated a lady who was a bit older, about 9 years or so, and did give serious thought to marrying her but ultimately married a lady who was only three months older, not because of the age difference but rather because, unlike the other lady I was dating, who had two daughters and was a grandmother, she was childless and I wanted to have children. Elena (the other lady) I think said it best when she said 'that time is past for me'.

Due to demographics, I tended to date older women who were single mothers during my 30's because the younger ones were all still married and I was dating the first round of divorcees. Now that I think of it, none of my LTR's were with a significantly younger woman, rather were with women my own age or older, with my exW being closest to my own age.

In your case, given the general societal norms these days, I don't think you'd have any issues dating a younger man or marrying one or having children with one. IME, such matters are a lot less important than they once were.

As an example, a young male friend who recently got married has a wife who is three years older. He's 26 and she's 29. First marriage for both.

March 25, 2015

Age is pointless - it is where you are in life and what your goals are. That being said - if you are in your late 30's and want to have kids then you are in a life stage that make many men uneasy - unless they too want to have kids right away.

If I had to speculate, I don't think you'll find many men in their early 30's in this stage - where they really want to have kids right away. When I do think you'll find more of these men is +10 years - men in their mid to late 40's. So think about that.

If having children isn't a thing for you - then who cares about age? A 38 - 33 split is no big deal in the slightest.

March 25, 2015

No way if a woman has never been married and past 30 it a red flag to me. I know I am 30 and never been married but how many time in the history of the wold has a female ask a guy to marry her?

I could see if she just turned 30 and was going to get married and was engaged but he died or it got broken off for what ever reason.

I want a female with only a carry on of emotion baggage not a u haul trucks worth of baggage.

Let me say the OP might be a great person I am just saying I seen woman in there 30s that bounced around from guy to guy like it the thing to do. Hell I seen it in my own family and who wants to date a 30+ year old female with 3 kids by 3 different men and been riding a D carousel for 15 years. Jumping from guy to guy and think they deserve a good guy give me a break.

Wow! What if the 30 year old woman has never been married because she was working on her career and does not have kids, would you feel the same way? Suppose women felt this way about 30 year old men who have banged everything in site and then have the nerve to want to marry a younger woman after they worn themselves out? What a prize! (not)BTW, older men are also responsible for birth defects in children, especially autisim.

Edited March 25, 2015 by stillafool

March 25, 2015

I've been mid 30's for a few years now I had 2 GFs in a row who were 25. I also dated a woman who was 45 and had a 14 y/o kid. In that case the older woman is less pressure because she just wants to have fun. 38, wanting to tie me down and have kids, is a scary prospect.

In general, mid-30s women are not appealing either. They already have kids, anywhere from 2-4 of them in elementary school. They're busy being soccer mom all week and might get every other weekend free with parental sharing. And of course, they've let their body go. It's a no-win situation from a man's perspective.

So I'll stick with my 20-somethings for as long as they'll stick with me.

March 25, 2015

Wow, at thirty on the D carousel for 15 years

Well, the dissappointing truth at least for me: 18 - 28 doing my higher education (yeah, thesis writing was not as fun as D carousel but... it is still a form of satisfaction). Then 28-30: 2 partners who turned to be gold diggers (VERY attracted to the fact that I work hard ).

So now at 30, I am happily NEVER married/engaged, having a good job and dating a fantastic man - and you tell me I don't deserve it;) - reconsider!!

No way if a woman has never been married and past 30 it a red flag to me. I know I am 30 and never been married but how many time in the history of the wold has a female ask a guy to marry her?

I could see if she just turned 30 and was going to get married and was engaged but he died or it got broken off for what ever reason.

I want a female with only a carry on of emotion baggage not a u haul trucks worth of baggage.

Let me say the OP might be a great person I am just saying I seen woman in there 30s that bounced around from guy to guy like it the thing to do. Hell I seen it in my own family and who wants to date a 30+ year old female with 3 kids by 3 different men and been riding a D carousel for 15 years. Jumping from guy to guy and think they deserve a good guy give me a break.

March 25, 2015

Just FYI, what you've seen in your own family isn't the rule across the board. I'm late 20's and unmarried, and I have only been with 2 men, and am going on 2 years celibate. I don't have a U-Haul of emotional baggage. Now if you just want to spit on women in general, have at it.

Well I never said all woman but it some woman do this and I run for the hills no thanks.

I know I have my issues but I do not want to be some chicks last hope for marriage and kids.

I am sure a female would not like to be a guys last hope right?

Also good for America needs more good woman there becoming unicorns hard to find.

March 25, 2015

I feel like most of mid-thirties men are ready to settle, so if you attract them, why not try them out

The kids "issue": it is close to mind that they know your age and are aware of woman's bio-clock, so they know that kids will come soon in the picture if you stay together. But again, if he is not ready at mid-thirties, he'll probably never be.

I'm 38, ready for marriage and kids. I've been dating after my last breakup for 6 months or so, have met some decent guys but no Mr. Right. I seem to go through phases where I attract a few men of a similar type. The latest wave is men slightly younger than I - 32 to 37.

My last relationship was with a man 5 years younger. He was serious and talking marriage, but he wasn't the right guy for me. Right after the breakup, my conservative older sister told me to pick an older man next time.

I quickly pass over men who aren't clearly relationship-minded, serious, and gentlemanly in their flirtation. I'm very selective, because I have no time or interest in fiddling around with guys who aren't serious.

I know that by and large, men prefer younger women. So I feel slightly skeptical about younger men. I have a first date this weekend with a man who seems pretty great, seems interested, has handled everything right so far. He's 35.

I'm curious to know what mid-30s men think about this. Would you seriously date and marry a woman a few years older than you, or no?

March 25, 2015

Wow! What if the 30 year old woman has never been married because she was working on her career and does not have kids, would you feel the same way? Suppose women felt this way about 30 year old men who have banged everything in site and then have the nerve to want to marry a younger woman after they worn themselves out? What a prize! (not)BTW, older men are also responsible for birth defects in children, especially autisim.

Well I want kids so dating an older woman is not for me . Also as far as older men are also responsible for birth defects in children that is why i am think about freezing some of my sperm if i have to I might want to talk to my Dr to see if it good idea .

March 25, 2015

Your comment is just plain ignorant
If I offend you

I don't apologize for that!

And fyi

Girls who are 16 years bounce from guy to guy as well, just in case you lived in a cave and you didn't know that

I was taking more about woman that do not the difference between having sex 500 time with an ex BF vs have sex 500 time with 500 different men .Yes I exaggerating for the most part but you get the point.

Sign In

Mid-30s men, would you marry a late-30s woman?

Recommended Posts

Ruby Slippers

gaius

Vintage79

Shining One

Krieger

neowulf

Leigh 87

GildedLily

mrs rubble

GildedLily

somedude81

LookAtThisPOst

Eggplant

Noproblem

Diezel

d0nnivain

carhill

Mrin

stillafool

PogoStick

No_Go

Krieger

No_Go

Krieger

Krieger

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...