Mjm1014 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Long story short this girl and I have been unofficially dating for 3-4 months and the past two or three weeks she's been flakey, acting uninterested, and is short with her texts which is very unlike her...she told me two nights ago that she isn't looking for a relationship right now because she's scared because she has feelings for me and was hurt big time in the past (engagement gone wrong), and said she doesn't want to hurt me. Excuses excuses... Today texts short. I didn't initiate, and I didn't hear from her rest of the day (coming from a girl that use to text me all day everyday)...left me confused further. Basically last week she told me she's planning on taking me a date this coming Thursday and is going to surprise me, but I think she bought tickets for something. When her and I hung out the other day she said she was still planning on taking me and seemed excited. QUESTION IS: should I just cut my loses and bail and change my game by playing hard to get (I hate games, but nothing is working)? I flew all the way back home to see her, and at this point I'm just frustrated and want to go back and hang with my friends which is in a different city. She seems to be stringing me along, and I want to make it a point I'm done with her stringing me along...it's been months and my friends and family think she's no good. Is that a dick move? I feel like even if I stay there's a good chance she might bail. I felt like her and I had the strongest connection I have ever had in my Life now I feel like there's nothing there, and she's going out with me for the wrong reasons. Maybe this will be a wake up call that I'm not going to sit here for her.. Sorry been drinking. I hope that makes sense. I got my flame hat on!!! Lol
d0nnivain Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Why would you bail now after she's gone to all that trouble? If you do play that game - trying to appear hard to get -- she will most likely figure out that you are not worth having & never speak to you again for wasting her time, hurting her feelings & playing games. Go on your surprise date later today & be on your best behavior.
Diezel Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 #1: People don't say that they don't want to be in a relationship with someone they like. #2: Go tonight and measure up her actions. Then make a decision.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 I don't think it really matters... However if she's excited about the date, that means she's probably still invested in you, so you could take that as a positive sign. Maybe you're just misreading things? 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 The simple answer to your question is YES it is dick move. And a immature one at that. Although I can fully understand your frustrations with her hot and cold approach, I don't think bailing on her without at least a discussion about how you're feeling is a good move. Don't be that guy. Don't like the way she's treating you? Then confront her and let the chips fall where they may. I think this might be a good time to practice your communication skills. Any happy and healthy relationship will require it at some point so the sooner you learn it the better. Good luck. 1
Auspecial Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 I'm confused because you say she is making proactive steps to get together with you and then that she doesn't communicate enough. I think playing hard to get, especially right now when she is obviously making an effort (plus spending $$ on you,) is not a good idea. Channel your inner nice guy and go have fun.
Redhead14 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Long story short this girl and I have been unofficially dating for 3-4 months and the past two or three weeks she's been flakey, acting uninterested, and is short with her texts which is very unlike her...she told me two nights ago that she isn't looking for a relationship right now because she's scared because she has feelings for me and was hurt big time in the past (engagement gone wrong), and said she doesn't want to hurt me. Excuses excuses... Today texts short. I didn't initiate, and I didn't hear from her rest of the day (coming from a girl that use to text me all day everyday)...left me confused further. Basically last week she told me she's planning on taking me a date this coming Thursday and is going to surprise me, but I think she bought tickets for something. When her and I hung out the other day she said she was still planning on taking me and seemed excited. QUESTION IS: should I just cut my loses and bail and change my game by playing hard to get (I hate games, but nothing is working)? I flew all the way back home to see her, and at this point I'm just frustrated and want to go back and hang with my friends which is in a different city. She seems to be stringing me along, and I want to make it a point I'm done with her stringing me along...it's been months and my friends and family think she's no good. Is that a dick move? I feel like even if I stay there's a good chance she might bail. I felt like her and I had the strongest connection I have ever had in my Life now I feel like there's nothing there, and she's going out with me for the wrong reasons. Maybe this will be a wake up call that I'm not going to sit here for her.. Sorry been drinking. I hope that makes sense. I got my flame hat on!!! Lol "now I feel like there's nothing there". If you feel that way, then there's nothing there.
Buddhist Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Basically last week she told me she's planning on taking me a date this coming Thursday and is going to surprise me, but I think she bought tickets for something. I just cut my loses and bail and change my game by playing hard to get (I hate games, but nothing is working)? She seems to be stringing me along, and I want to make it a point I'm done with her stringing me along... Your point being that she doesn't spend all day txting you? Well you can certainly make your point if you wish. Just don't expect to hear from her ever again. If that's the outcome you're after go for gold.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 I actually just commented on something similar to this in another thread. At times a woman's interest level will be way up. She'll text you all the time, you'll plan more dates, and you'll see each other regularly. But it's human nature to get bored when you have too much of a good thing. For example. I love pizza. But if I had it all day every day for a week straight, I wouldn't want pizza again for awhile. That's why she pulled back a bit. It's not because she doesn't still like you. Her emotions just needed a re-charge. If she's saying that she doesn't want a relationship, etc chances are you might be over-pursuing her a bit making her feel smothered. So just allow her the space she needs to miss you. and then when she reaches out, make plans. But if she's putting effort into planning a surprise date for you, definitely go on it if you genuinely like the girl. Nothing will drive her away faster than you spurning her thoughtful gestures.
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