No Limit Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Yes you should leave her. You should have dumped her the second you found out. 1
Redhead14 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 We only been together for 5 months. I am thinking about leaving her. I really thought things were going so well and I believed we were meeting each other's needs. Believing and knowing if each of your are meeting each others needs, are two different things. If you have a healthy, loving relationship, you should be having conversations about each others needs. Periodically and casually say something like "I'm enjoying the relationship we have so far and I'd like to know if there is anything I can do differently or if you feel that anything is lacking and, if so, I'd like for us to work together on that". Plain and simple communication. I'd venture to say that even though you've been working a lot, you might have noticed a change in her behavior and/or attitude that may have given you some stirring in your gut. That is the point where you could have said something similar to the above like "I'm enjoying the relationship we have and I know I've been working an awful lot, but I am sensing that something is lacking now. I'd like it if we could talk about anything that we need to work on or if there is anything troubling you". This is non-confrontational and non-accusatory. If she had any conscience at all, she'd tell you that she was unhappy at least. But, for this one, the trust has been breached and she's demonstrated she doesn't have the communication skills or the morals to deal with a relationship in a healthy way. 1
GoldenGirl2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 SHE'S HUMAN!! People make mistakes, she's Still young. Forgive her and try to work it out with her. It's not like you guys are married anyway, so she didn't commit adultery. Do what you feel you should do in your heart. If you still love her and she loves you then try to give it another shot.
kendahke Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 SHE'S HUMAN!! People make mistakes, she's Still young. Forgive her and try to work it out with her. It's not like you guys are married anyway, so she didn't commit adultery. Do what you feel you should do in your heart. If you still love her and she loves you then try to give it another shot. Plenty of humans understand the concept of right and wrong--and it's born out of knowing the difference when one engages in a behavior behind the back of someone they claim they love and they do not tell them that they are going to take that action. Why? Because they're in the wrong and they know it. This isn't a mistake. A mistake is putting salt in the sugar container. Deciding to go onto a dating site to find a guy to spend time with behind your boyfriend's back is no where near being in the universe of mistakes. Never give a cheater a second chance to cheat on you. This is her not having a clue about what being in a committed, exclusive relationship means. It does not mean that when your boyfriend is working a lot of hours that you go out and find some guy online to pay attention to you because "you're lonely". You talk to your man and tell him what is troubling you and then the two of you work though it to a compromise you can both live with. There is nothing here to work out. She's shown that she can't be trusted when left on her own to occupy herself without seeking out other men to validate her. That's messy messy messy. She's not mature enough for the rigors of a relationship and she'd be worse at marriage--dating is the forerunner to marriage and if she can't act right in a dating situation, the damb sure ain't going to act right when it comes to marriage. Him working this out with her is the equivalent of him telling her what she did was ok--because he stayed after she deceived and cheated. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 "When people show you who they are, believe them." - Maya Angelou Enough said. 1
No Limit Posted March 27, 2015 Posted March 27, 2015 SHE'S HUMAN!! People make mistakes, she's Still young. Forgive her and try to work it out with her. It's not like you guys are married anyway, so she didn't commit adultery. Do what you feel you should do in your heart. If you still love her and she loves you then try to give it another shot. Oh boy; OP, don't let anyone ever gaslight you with the "just a human" line. Many human beings don't cheat in their whole life. 2
Recommended Posts