FairyGurl Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Hello guys, Today I wanted to get some feelings out because I am still feeling low after my recent break up with my first boyfriend. The break up occurred exactly 3 weeks ago and the relationship went on for about a year and 4 months. He recently started working a second job so we already knew that this would possibly effect the amount of time we had to see each other or talk but we tried not to worry about it too much. However, even before he regularly started working at his second job, he was hanging out with friends more often so I would have to wait days for him to text me if I didn't text first, would receive short, uninterested-sounding text back, and he seemed less concerned with seeing me as before. I tried not to let this get to me too much because I thought it was good he was able to be with his friends more. Once he was regularly working at the second job however, things just got worse. It felt like he was beginning to treat me coldly and not care anymore. Every other conversation was an argument. He didn't say things like "I love you" or "I miss you" like usual and didn't seem concerned with seeing me. Soon he said he was working 7 days a week and didn't have time to meet at all because if he wasn't working then he needed to rest or was too tired to do anything. I also sensed something else was wrong but he reassured me his behavior was because he was tired. After a while I couldn't take the combination of everything and we agreed a break up would be best. I met him after work the following day and we broke up. Of course I was heartbroken that it had to end like this. But I wish I could end the story there. Two days after the break up, I went onto facebook to deactivate the account so I wouldn't be tempted to keep checking his page constantly. I only had a facebook for friends for apps on my phone and occasional deals through "liking" a page so I did not have anyone I actually knew on there. I only looked at his page like once or twice during our relationship because there was really no reason to check and he didn't post many interesting things anyway. To be honest, I checked one more time thinking maybe he was hanging out with friends when he said he couldn't see me but what I found was worse. I saw a picture of him and another female in a photo where they were up on each other. I didn't want to jump to conclusion so I checked her page and viola, there was no doubt what was happening. She posted things like "can't wait to cuddle with him today" and even had a picture of her wearing a cheap necklace saying "belated V-day gift <3". It was belated because he saw me on Valentine's Day! And I got no gift, mind you. It also showed that one of the times he didn't text me all because he was "with a friend" was because he was with her! When I asked him about it, he responded faster than he ever answered a text throughout our whole relationship. First, he accused me of lying about not having a Facebook even though I explained to him I had the account twice before. Then, he said they were "just friends" and that she "acted like that with everyone". Funny because all the romantic stuff she posted was ONLY directed toward him, clearly linking to his page. (A few days later, she clearly referred to him as "my boyfriend"). Plus, he didn't say anything because he "had nothing to hide." I didn't want to make a scene so after him saying that he "didn't even know why he was explaining himself to me" and "wanted to break up on good terms", I just apologized for the shock (he said my text REALLY threw him off) and wished him a good life. We cut all contact. So I'm here now. The discovery shone light on so many other lies and his overall behavior. There are other things to mention (like how he basically used me solely for sex the last time we saw each other before the break up) but I think this is enough to get my point across. I just feel betrayed and thrown to the side. In addition to meeting her, they also have a group of mutual friends who are all buddy-buddy that I never knew about so it seems he's all set now. New girlfriend who have more in common than we did, friends to hang out with, money from his second job to go out and buy things. I feel like he stopped caring about me even before the break up and probably doesn't even think of me anymore. It's been three weeks but I still feel crappy. I keep alternating between sadness, hurt, anger, and just feeling like I was kicked to the side. Any words of encouragement, advice, or thoughts in general? -Thanks
MommytoBe Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Your going to feel crappy for a long long time most likely but that's ok!! Jus keep pushing forward and try to fix things in your life- your emotions and stability most importantly because that is going to help you get over this. I didn't get a valentines day gift either and I was pregnant!! He didn't give me anything and has since left me and got back with his ex and he even is telling everyone he left me because I'm pregnant.. Yes I chose a winner, jus happy your not stuck on a similar situation you can be strong and push through this!!!
Author FairyGurl Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 I feel for you. I can imagine that's really tough. Also, thank you for your kind words.
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