Anaxas Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 (edited) Hello! I've noticed I've gotten a lot better with confidence over the last year, but I like to analyze a lot.. I'm 19 years old, turning 20 shortly. I've been going to bars/clubs a lot with friends. I usually just meet new people and hang out with my friends. I've never hit on a girl in that environment (I usually flirt with girls in lecture halls haha), besides a month ago... My friend was talking to two girls, I thought I'd go after the one he wasn't interested in because I found her pretty cute. She was the first girl I actually liked enough at first sight to start hitting on. I'll just give a brief little synopsis: We went to a club and were dancing. We ended up making out a bit. During the night, she took my phone and added herself on FB when I asked for her number. It took her a week and a half to accept the FR she sent from my phone. They wanted to go out again with the both of us, we had a nice sober double date. She added me on Snapchat then, and started messaging me a lot and kept inviting me out (still is). I think her friend really approves of me now, she thought I was playing her friend at first. We've went out 3 or 4 times since then and I have her number now too, but haven't kissed since that first night. She likes dancing with me though, we always go to the same place. It's a lot of fun. I'm not dumb, I'm pretty sure she likes me, but I'm not sure what vibe I'm getting here. I've met a lot of her friends now, she calls me her date or "one of the guys we met". I also keep putting myself under the bus and saying the WORST stuff when I'm drinking. She's suspicious, and I think she thinks I'm playing her. I think she's insecure too. She seems like a fun girl, but she's also upset that I don't text her much or respond to her a lot. My buddy is texting the girl he likes a LOT. I used to do that stuff in high school, but I'd rather see my girl in person! And I have no time to text all day. She invited me to an event at a bar (her friend will be there too, I'm sure), but my friends can't come so I might reconsider getting a ticket. They want me to ask her to something with just the two of us, if I actually like her. They're wondering if I'm planning on dating her or what. She told me last weekend (after a while) that she didn't want to dance anymore (her friend was upset and left so maybe that's why, long story), but if "I come she promises she'll be a lot more fun"....? Does she want to get laid? I don't know how to convince everyone that I'm genuine here. I don't know what this girl wants. Maybe she's playing me, haha? Edited March 25, 2015 by Anaxas
Buddhist Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 How the hell are we supposed to know if she wants to get laid or not? Serious!
Author Anaxas Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 How the hell are we supposed to know if she wants to get laid or not? Serious! Sorry haha, I guess I didn't specify what I meant there. I'm just wondering a couple of things: 1) Would it be too much to invite her out on an actual date, with just her and I? Or should I assume she just wants a fun guy to go dancing with, or a casual thing? 2) I don't like the idea of meeting a girl at a bar, honestly. It looks like her and her friend have been going downtown a lot. She seems like a good girl, but she might do this a lot? But she keeps inviting me downtown constantly, so I guess she thinks I'm special? We've been taking things slower recently, maybe that's why she's been acting like that? Has anyone dated anyone they met at a bar?
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 My parents met in a bar. They were married for over 40 years. I met my husband in a bar. Bars are not always the problem Try to relax. I doubt many 19 year old guys understand women. Don't beat yourself up. Keep dating her & learn to put a filter on yourself to stop blurting out the negative stuff. It will be fine if you stop sabotaging yourself. Absolutely invite her on a solo non-dancing, non bar date.
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