markthemango Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 if youve been talking to a girl or been dating one and you start to get or look needy can you recover form it? can you basically showher you really arent needy? 1
todreaminblue Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 can you give some context to why you felt you were needy with your gf...deb 1
fitnessfan365 Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 (edited) It's one thing if you never give a woman any space. Like trying to see her every day, or blowing up her phone constantly. But assuming you're not acting like a stalker, a woman that likes you wants you to be in regular contact with her. Example. Hadn't talked to the woman I'm seeing in a few days. She sent me a text. We exchanged a few but I had to cut it short because my client showed up for his training session. But since I like talking to her, I called her last night to finish our conversation and it made her night. But the so-called "dating experts" would say I came off as needy since I didn't want to wait one night just to talk to her again in person. However, confident, secure guys don't subscribe to "dating rules". They do what the want and don't give a $hit. Edited March 24, 2015 by fitnessfan365 5
preraph Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 Once she's pegged you as needy, I really don't think you can come back from it. Here's why: So if you do everything trying to undo acting needy, she knows you're just bending over backwards again to get her -- and that's also needy. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 I think the problem here is that the OP is insecure worrying about being needy based on his own fear, and not what his GF told him. He's simply assuming he came off as needy. But I'm telling you OP. As long as you're not demanding to see her daily, or blowing up her phone all day every day you should be OK. What I personally like to do is call a woman the day after a date, make plans for the next one, give it 2-3 days radio silence, and then text with her a bit the day before a date. I find that even as little as 10-15 minutes of communication a week initiated by me can make her feel special and train her to respect my space as well. 1
Author markthemango Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 well i have really increased my tetxing to her and she mentioned that "you dont always need ot be tetxing me. you text me everything and then when we fget together i already know everything, you dont have to always tell me everything right away" 1
fitnessfan365 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 well i have really increased my tetxing to her and she mentioned that "you dont always need ot be tetxing me. you text me everything and then when we fget together i already know everything, you dont have to always tell me everything right away" Well based on that, I'd say that your behavior is a bit needy. However, the reason why your GF is cool, is because she likes you enough to try and help you. Some women, won't communicate and keep things they dislike to themselves. So take her advice, and stop initiating so much contact. Rely on the interaction in person and let her reach out to you more. When she does, if you don't already have plans, make a date and get off the phone. Then talk to her in person. 2
todreaminblue Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I dont think she sees you as needy...i think she just told you you dont have to text as much....just listen ...she is letting you know what she appreciates and what she doesnt...has nothing to do with neediness....deb
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 In this instance it's easy to fix. Stop texting her so much. My advice is going to horrify you but do it anyway. Only text her no more than every other day. Less often would be fine but you probably can't do that. Send one text of no more than one sentence. Monday: Have a great week. Wednesday: Happy Hump Day. Friday: Can't wait to see you tonight / tomorrow. Sunday: I enjoyed our last date. Keep it light. Do not have long conversations via text. 1
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Yup play silly games. When the woman in question told him point blank to stop texting so much how was my advice playing a silly game? I gave OP concrete hints on how to downshift in accordance with his GFs wishes. If he doesn't do what she asks she is going to leave because she feels smothered by his neediness.
regine_phalange Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Only text her to make plans and discuss things face to face. It's good that she told you, it means she probably wants to keep the relationship fresh. 1
Gaeta Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 well i have really increased my tetxing to her and she mentioned that "you dont always need ot be tetxing me. you text me everything and then when we fget together i already know everything, you dont have to always tell me everything right away" How long have you been seeing each other? She is not 'that' into you. If I like a man, truly like a man, he can flood my phone with texts or calls and I will love it ! I dated men that I felt luckywarm about and their abundant communication annoyed me. Like your gf I would tell them to give me some space and to not invade me so much on text and phone. Some actually listened and slowed down but the end result stayed the same. I was not enough into them and ended up terminating the relationship.
d0nnivain Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 She is not 'that' into you. If I like a man, truly like a man, he can flood my phone with texts or calls and I will love it ! Not all women feel this way. Even if I really liked a guy, if he flooded my phone I would feel smothered & be running for daylight. Even if it's a good thing, too much is still unwelcome. In this case the OP's lady told him to power down. He fails to follow her request at his own peril. 3
fitnessfan365 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Not all women feel this way. Even if I really liked a guy, if he flooded my phone I would feel smothered & be running for daylight. Even if it's a good thing, too much is still unwelcome. In this case the OP's lady told him to power down. He fails to follow her request at his own peril. Exactly. Definitely a fine line between staying in regular contact, and staying in too much contact. Plus what the GF is saying is true. Text/tall the time over the phone, and it cuts down on things to talk about in person. By giving a woman a little space, you create mystery and get her to miss/think about you. Essential in building attraction. 1
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