Haerts Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 I've been dating this guy for about 5 months. While he's very different from me, I do like him very much. However, due these differences, I've been through a lot of stuff which now doesn't bother me anymore, but that once made me feel like a bag of sht. There's one thing about him that became a major problem: 2 weeks ago, he proved to me that he's a liar. I had been noticing how he use to lie so easily to his friends, and I always confronted him about it. He said he'd never lie to me. He did. And it was about something serious too; he had said he never had sex before without protection. I believed him and we started having sex with no condom. Thing is, he found out he has a STD which has been there for more than what we've been together, according to his doctor, which he got from sex with no protection. I most likely have it now too, I already have an appointment scheduled and I'm very worried - it's nothing big, the treatment is very simple too. I don't blame him for it as it was my choice; I do, however, blame him for lying to me. He said he never lied, else he wouldn't tell me that, but I am 100% sure he mentioned it, especially because he had said once he wanted to know how it feels to have sex without condom. The more he explained himself, the more I would catch him stumbling on his own lies. I said it was over. He tried to guilt trip me into thinking that I'm walking away when he needed me the most, to support him curing that STD. Turned out we had a big conversation and he said he wasn't sure of what he had said to me. He apologized, cried and begged me for not leaving, asked for one more chance and all that stuff desperate people always do... and I ended up giving in, we're still together. Thing is, due these differences I first mentioned and that big lie, I definitely don't feel the same anymore. When he's with me, sometimes I wish he will say he has to go. Lately I've been telling him I'm going to sleep just so he can stop messaging. I don't feel the same urge to see him as I used to feel at the start. I think that lie was just what I needed to see that I really need to break up. Still I can't seem to walk away. For the first time ever, I'm feeling like I'm the one who's drifting apart. Usually the guys walk away before I even notice, and I feel blue for a while. I'd like from you your views on this situation. It's new for me. It's very hard for me to break up, I need to be sure it's the right decision before doing so. Sometimes I think I should let it go and try again, and give him that chance, but I'm unsure whether it's worth it or not. What would you do? Have you been through something similar?
johncarl Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 I don't know if you will ever trust this guy. It also sounds like he has issues: i.e. he lies a lot. I suspect that most people wouldn't enjoy that and it sounds like you don't. It sounds like you will always be wondering if the guy is being honest with you. That is no way to have a relationship. Trust is very important. I had trust issues (amongst other issues) with an ex, I ended it with her. She didn't like it at all and was hurt, but what else was I to do? She had trust issues with me too and they were justified. My point is: when it's time to move on, it's time to move on. Life is short and people should be happy. Unless you have made some kind of promise to this guy to stand with him through his lying and the std, there is no reason for you to stay with him. Just break it off and get on with your life. 1
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