thorin Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 During NC, the most difficult thing for me was the feeling that I will never, ever meet her again, after such a great relation. She broke it off smoothly, sincerly told me about her feelings (lack of them), and didnt find anyone else atm. More to that, she says she doesnt want any relationship right now, with anyone. Then asked me to keep meeting, without exclusiveness. I went hard NC. But broke it yesterday. And right now Im thinking about doing it again, but in a different way. I want to tell her I need a break, without ANY contact from both sides. One month, two months, half a year - until I dont have any feelings for her, or till I have new girlfriend. Or even until I date someone else. This way: - there are no feelings of loosing each other forever - when I have someone new, I can initiate contact, and make the new girl a bit jelous - I will have her, and her social circle, as friends again in the future, so thats always more people in my social circle What worries me though is that she will miss me less this way, but I shouldnt care anyways. Or that when Im healed, she wont even want me as her friend anymore. But Ill be healed anyways What do you think about this?
Satu Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 Absolutely no contact for as long as it takes for you to heal. Stop playing mind games with yourself. 1
privategal Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 Make the new girl a bit jealous by contacting your ex who broke your heart? Sounds ridiculous and maybe this type of immature thinking is what caused your ex to break up with you and until you change your mind set your going to go through one breakup after another. When and if you start dating someone new, you shouldn't contact your ex then...she wouldn't want to hear it, its not appropriate nor mature. Stop thinking of her...get busy improving you, the games are holding you back. NC, heal and move on. Who cares if she finds someone else, you guys are done. When you're fired from a job you dont go hang out at your desk all day and go to lunch with yiur old boss...same concept. 1
ASV Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 Make the new girl a bit jealous by contacting your ex who broke your heart? Sounds ridiculous and maybe this type of immature thinking is what caused your ex to break up with you and until you change your mind set your going to go through one breakup after another. When and if you start dating someone new, you shouldn't contact your ex then...she wouldn't want to hear it, its not appropriate nor mature. Stop thinking of her...get busy improving you, the games are holding you back. NC, heal and move on. Who cares if she finds someone else, you guys are done. When you're fired from a job you dont go hang out at your desk all day and go to lunch with yiur old boss...same concept. I agree. Stop playing games, both for you and for other people, or you will be doomed to failure from the start. And with NC no one expects to lose anyone forever - or so I've been taught. If the relationship was worth anything, you will hear of her in the future even if it's not for the purposes you're reaching out. 1
na49 Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 You can do that, but you could also just go NC and have all of that stuff happen in the future anyway. You honestly believe that not saying those things to her will ruin any chance of a friendship in a few years? Most of the people who go NC don't give a heads up. I know how you feel about wanting to, but you will probably end up forgetting to say something and want to break it again. 1
Author thorin Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Hahah, I should have definitely listened to you and stick to NC. All these breadcrumbs, meetings after weeks without contact, all of it leads to nothing. She doesn't want to try again, and won't ever change her mind, whatever I do. Reminding her of the past, suggesting great plans for a future, nothing, nothing works. Even becoming friends will make us forget about each other in the future. So yeah, I should have listened to you. I would be drinking beer with good friends right now, instead of sitting at home alone and crying. Crap, this time, when you tell me to jump into a fire, I will jump 1
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