Why am I so at peace despite things being seemingly really crappy?

[Lolita_Sky]

Two weeks ago I was an unhappy depressed wreck.

 

My boyfriend was neglecting me emotionally and physically. He just made me feel so unhappy and worthless.

 

He was withdrawing so much and with growing frequency that it drove me to behave in a manner I have never ever done before.

 

It scared me...and it jolted me back to reality. I realized that I had to leave that man because he was doing the exact opposite of what he was suppose to he doing as my boyfriend.

 

I discovered he'd been having female friends "come visit" him at his apartment. I even went so far as to pose as another woman. He agreed to meet up with this woman at a local coffee shop.

 

I called him out on it and his excuse? "He knew it was me".

 

Anyway to end a long story short I broke up with him. I ended it. He attacked me made me out to be the bad person.

 

Right now I'm in a financial bind I WAS working two jobs that were only paying minimum wage. I'm behind on my bills right now because of lack if proper income. I had to quit one of the two because I was being continuously harassed there. One young lady there did not like me and so turned everyone else against me. So I left. I didn't want to be pushed to do or say something I'd later regret.

 

I am currently in the process of being hired at a new job that pays a lot more. I'm just waiting for the Background check and the Drug Screen results to come back.

 

Despite all of this stress... I not in the least bit worried. I know I have these bills to pay but at the same to me I feel there is no point in STRESSING over these things if I'm doing all that I can to make my life better.

 

All I can do is continue to make steps to better my situation.

 

Why am I so at peace with this? I mean I just I dunno. This is the most relaxed I've been in God knows how long. I'm really happy to be at this point.

 

I still miss my ex and I do still have feelings for him. However my logic tells me that he wasn't good for me. That living my life solely for the purpose of my own happiness is the best thing FOR ME to do.

 

I think I've come on to something and I have no clue what it is. Despite that fact I love being here.

[Lolita_Sky]

Any insight on this would be appreciated.

 

Thanks!

[elaine567]

You were in a state of high anxiety with your bf and now that stress has gone.

Although you still have stress in your life, it is manageable and you know you can cope.

 

He was messing with your head and now you are at peace.

[Lolita_Sky]

You were in a state of high anxiety with your bf and now that stress has gone.

Although you still have stress in your life, it is manageable and you know you can cope.

 

He was messing with your head and now you are at peace.

 

That's what I was thinking. That maybe the stress of trying to manage a crumbling relationship and the things going on outside of the relationship was really playing a toll on me.

 

It didn't help much either that he wasn't supportive of me at all.

[elaine567]

Two weeks ago I was an unhappy depressed wreck.

 

My boyfriend was neglecting me emotionally and physically. He just made me feel so unhappy and worthless.

 

He was withdrawing so much and with growing frequency that it drove me to behave in a manner I have never ever done before.

 

You now have your life back.

[Lolita_Sky]

You now have your life back.

 

I do! Thanks for your reply!

[devilish innocent]

As you said, you know you're doing everything you can. You also just got rid of two major stressors in your life- the extra job and the boyfriend. You've got time and space to just sit back and breathe. That's something you probably haven't had in a long while.

[Strength in Healing]

Be prepared, it's a rollercoaster.

 

Some time periods are great. You are in this time period.

 

But you will also enter the storm. That usually follows having a dream about them.

 

But you will also exit the storm and back into the light.

 

This will continue.

 

It can continue for months, or years.

 

But the ride will come to an end eventually.

 

Go in very aware that hard days are coming. Approach them head on, and embrace the pain.

 

This is just how our brains accept the loss and move on.

[Lolita_Sky]

As you said, you know you're doing everything you can. You also just got rid of two major stressors in your life- the extra job and the boyfriend. You've got time and space to just sit back and breathe. That's something you probably haven't had in a long while.

 

Very true. It's been a very very long time since I've just "relaxed" emotionally like this. It's very refreshing.

[Tayla]

So glad you are settling into independent living! It will be so liberating in the long run. enjoy!

 

No reason to miss pain. embrace goodness each day.

[Seeker12]

Be prepared, it's a rollercoaster.

 

Some time periods are great. You are in this time period.

 

But you will also enter the storm. That usually follows having a dream about them.

 

But you will also exit the storm and back into the light.

 

This will continue.

 

It can continue for months, or years.

 

But the ride will come to an end eventually.

 

Go in very aware that hard days are coming. Approach them head on, and embrace the pain.

 

This is just how our brains accept the loss and move on.

 

This, i when i broke up with my ex had this peace, until the storm hit.

[Lolita_Sky]

Be prepared, it's a rollercoaster.

 

Some time periods are great. You are in this time period.

 

But you will also enter the storm. That usually follows having a dream about them.

 

But you will also exit the storm and back into the light.

 

This will continue.

 

It can continue for months, or years.

 

But the ride will come to an end eventually.

 

Go in very aware that hard days are coming. Approach them head on, and embrace the pain.

 

This is just how our brains accept the loss and move on.

 

Thank you. I have already experienced all of these things. Usually whenever I have a dream about my ex this indicates my closure with that relationship. I've already had a dream about him with a significant message.

 

I've already come to terms with the breakup despite the short amount of time that had passed.

 

I'm very much in tune with my inner self and have always "listened to my heart".

 

So it has always been a lot easier for me than some others to move on because I've always been honest with myself.

 

Thank you so much for your response.