Diezel Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 She is not going to see it as objectively as you are. Because when you are talking about her, she sees it as a negative: "My drinking is bad. My friends are bad. The fact I don't want to work out as much as he does is bad. I'm a bad person then." That is how she is translating it. There can be a sense of balance. She can go to happy hour with her friends, you can go workout. There can be compromise with these things. But when there is a shift too much to one side, whether it's yours or hers, then things start to create friction. I might have missed it earlier, but how long have you two been together?
soyou Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 I love foods, sooooooo muchhhhh. I'm a pretty good cook myself. I need my partner to be able to cook at least few nice dishes. C'mon it's a basic human survival skill. He must have survived and eten foods before he met me. I dont mind cooking more often than he does. But if he cant cook foods for himself at all, I may doubt about his life survival independence skill. I'm a fitness fanatic. Its important to me that my boy needs to be physical active. If a guy doesnt excerise at all or not so regular, its a no-no for me.
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 I'm not a very good cook, so for me, having a partner that can cook is important though by no means a deal breaker. My father taught my mum to cook and they largely take it in turns to prepare meals, so I'm kind of used to that dynamic. I can cook a few basic things. I agree with what others have said; cooking is a basic life skill and hugely important. If a man or woman can't cook or can't cook well, it seems sort of infantile? I would like to learn to cook although I wouldn't like the pressure of preparing meals every day. I'd like to share cooking duties with my partner. As for fitness, I've never worked out with a partner so if my partner doesn't want to work out, I still can. My partner is more sedantary than me in terms of his physical habits. It would only bother me if he became unhealthy or very fat. Otherwise, although it would be nice if he came along, it's not a deal breaker. It can be a compromise.
Author Biscous Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 She is not going to see it as objectively as you are. Because when you are talking about her, she sees it as a negative: "My drinking is bad. My friends are bad. The fact I don't want to work out as much as he does is bad. I'm a bad person then." That is how she is translating it. There can be a sense of balance. She can go to happy hour with her friends, you can go workout. There can be compromise with these things. But when there is a shift too much to one side, whether it's yours or hers, then things start to create friction. I might have missed it earlier, but how long have you two been together? About a year.
edgygirl Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 I specifically said in my online profile that I am not interested in people who are crazy about sports (doing or watching) nor in cooking. I am into brains mostly. I don't care about cooking, I prefer to eat out. I don't care about being physically active and having a partner who does would probably create conflicts unless he just lets me be and doesn't spend all his free time being outdoor and doing sportsy things.
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