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Lying, Cheating, Deception - Left for Someone Else and Left in the Dark

nba321

By nba321
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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nba321 Member

nba321

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That's what I was thinking. Part of me wants to see her and talk to her in person the other part just says to ignore. I will probably ignore but still have some temptation.

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nba321 Member

nba321

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My ex and I broke up 3 months ago-ish. We barely talked at all during those 3 months. However, two days ago she messaged me and said she was going to be home and then the next day texted me immediately when she got home about something I left her house after we broke up (it was all of her stuff she left at my house with a note.) I gave into the temptation and texted her back and she has yet to reply. It has only been a day but I feel like she is playing games with me.

 

I'm actually pretty angry about her reaching out twice and then when I do reply she just doesn't say anything. I wanna bit*h her out and then have nothing to do with her.

 

Worth it to bit*h her out or just go silent like I did for the last 3 months?

Mrin Established Member

Mrin

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Go silent.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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*I'm actually pretty angry about her reaching out twice and then when I do reply she just doesn't say anything.

 

 

She *pinged* you.

darkbloom Established Member

darkbloom

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No contact is not a game to play back and forth. It's to help you heal. If you want to prolong your pain and stop your healing then you should respond. If you want to move on and stop playing her game, remain silent.

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loveiswar101 Established Member

loveiswar101

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I'm only just learning NC and not winning, but recommend go silent. No good bit*ching, achieves nothing in the long run. Best of luck.

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towch Established Member

towch

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Posted (edited)
My ex and I broke up 3 months ago-ish. We barely talked at all during those 3 months. However, two days ago she messaged me and said she was going to be home and then the next day texted me immediately when she got home about something I left her house after we broke up (it was all of her stuff she left at my house with a note.) I gave into the temptation and texted her back and she has yet to reply. It has only been a day but I feel like she is playing games with me.

 

I'm actually pretty angry about her reaching out twice and then when I do reply she just doesn't say anything. I wanna bit*h her out and then have nothing to do with her.

 

Worth it to bit*h her out or just go silent like I did for the last 3 months?

 

Oh this is good, forking great. DO NOT REPLY and when she comes back Make a way so that she sees you. Then put on your Idgaf face and ignore her ass like she was vermin. Seat back and feel the power. You are in a better position because her BF isnt there and she seems like an attention whore. If you most interact, smile and chuckle at every serious statement it will make her feel insignificant, i lost my way, self respect and controll with my Ex but im getting it back.

Edited by towch
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nba321 Member

nba321

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Just have a question. What would be so wrong with sending her one last message voicing all the things I never got to say to her and having that finally be the end of everything? Ive had enough of all this and want to say the things I should have said at the beginning.

 

Has anyone done this and did it help at all?

 

Just looking for different opinions.

Maverick27 Established Member

Maverick27

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Oh man...i want to do that SOOOOO badly. She got away with murder, because i was too nice to tell her what i truly think of her.

 

Everyone on here will tell you not to.

 

But i would like to live vicariously live through your experience.

 

Do it.

Maverick27 Established Member

Maverick27

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P.S im in the exact same boat as you - i was lied to, cheated on and left for another guy.

 

I've spent weeks constructing the PERFECT hate message that i know would destroy her...but im just to chicken to send it. Mainly because im a nice guy and i know i'll instantly feel bad after it.

Ruby65 Established Member

Ruby65

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Oh man...i want to do that SOOOOO badly. She got away with murder, because i was too nice to tell her what i truly think of her.

 

Everyone on here will tell you not to.

 

But i would like to live vicariously live through your experience.

 

Do it.

 

^Nothing personal, Maverick27.... but OP, don't listen to him!!!

 

Instead, read through his threads and you'll see that even he -- in his times of strength and insight -- is managing to mostly stick to No Contact.

 

Right now you're like a smoker trying to quit... and your nicotine-addled brain is trying to convince you that ONE LAST SMOKE won't hurt you!

 

That's how it is with Contact.... there's always that ONE LAST THING you want to say.

 

It doesn't get better, only worse: the more you contact, the more you want to contact. :(

 

Stop trying to bargain your way back into this relationship. You might *believe* you're just telling off your ex.... but deep down, what you're doing is classic Bargaining Stage behavior where you're trying to fight your way back in.

 

Don't do it!

 

It sets you back, it keeps you focused on her and her response (or lack of response) and does absolutely NOTHING to further your own healing!

 

You're on a diet to reverse your life-threatening heart disease... and contact with your ex is a big greasy double bacon cheeseburger!!!! You want it in the moment, but it's only going to hurt you.

 

Imagine your ex, rolling her eyes to see your big email or text. She'll barely read past the first line. She'll be thinking "when will that loser stop trying to get me back?" She'll let her friends read it and they'll all laugh about it. Do you really want to be that guy?

 

Be strong! You can do this.

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nba321 Member

nba321

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^Nothing personal, Maverick27.... but OP, don't listen to him!!!

 

Instead, read through his threads and you'll see that even he -- in his times of strength and insight -- is managing to mostly stick to No Contact.

 

Right now you're like a smoker trying to quit... and your nicotine-addled brain is trying to convince you that ONE LAST SMOKE won't hurt you!

 

That's how it is with Contact.... there's always that ONE LAST THING you want to say.

 

It doesn't get better, only worse: the more you contact, the more you want to contact. :(

 

Stop trying to bargain your way back into this relationship. You might *believe* you're just telling off your ex.... but deep down, what you're doing is classic Bargaining Stage behavior where you're trying to fight your way back in.

 

Don't do it!

 

It sets you back, it keeps you focused on her and her response (or lack of response) and does absolutely NOTHING to further your own healing!

 

You're on a diet to reverse your life-threatening heart disease... and contact with your ex is a big greasy double bacon cheeseburger!!!! You want it in the moment, but it's only going to hurt you.

 

Imagine your ex, rolling her eyes to see your big email or text. She'll barely read past the first line. She'll be thinking "when will that loser stop trying to get me back?" She'll let her friends read it and they'll all laugh about it. Do you really want to be that guy?

 

Be strong! You can do this.

 

Thanks Ruby.

 

I am not going to call her out like I wanted to. I think silence is the best course of action and I am going to finally do NC the right way. I've had some slip ups where I'd check her social media and what not because I've been holding on to hope that she would regret her decision, but that has just put constant strain on me and kept me thinking about her.

 

I gotta get over her for good, she's been draining me mentally and emotionally for too long now and she's with someone else, not me. It is just hard to get over someone who you connected with more than anyone, but sh*t happens I guess. Time to move on.

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