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Lying, Cheating, Deception - Left for Someone Else and Left in the Dark

nba321

By nba321
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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nba321 Member

nba321

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Where were you expecting that to lead you? I'm not expecting mine to lead anywhere.

Karin2rinkashi Established Member

Karin2rinkashi

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Where were you expecting that to lead you? I'm not expecting mine to lead anywhere.

 

The problem is that the high road wont take you anywhere if you keep comparing your destination to your partner's

 

The road is for your, not them....

 

Walk the walk for yourself and see where it leads you to then....

lil hoodlum Established Member

lil hoodlum

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Where were you expecting that to lead you? I'm not expecting mine to lead anywhere.

 

 

 

It was more of a point of "doing the right thing" really doesn't bring you anything.

 

 

I took the high road and don't necessarily regret it, I live my life by my standards. Maybe next time instead of taking the high road I am going to burn that bridge to the ground and then take a peaceful walk enjoying the scenery along the way. :)

 

 

I'm not trying to imply you should lower your standards.

 

 

I totally feel for you, I was in your shoes nearly 3 years ago. I wouldn't wish that kind of heartache, pain, and suffering on my worst enemy.

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Strength in Healing Established Member

Strength in Healing

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In terms of relationships, if I know the bridge has crumbled due to the other persons actions, then best believe I'm gonna nuke the whole city on the other side.

 

This played out perception that the high road is some good, rewarding thing is really just for the movies. Karma isn't real, it's a belief to justify inaction.

 

You know how to teach people a lesson? Be the damn teacher, and don't fear corporal punishment.

Edited by Strength in Healing
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nba321 Member

nba321

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In terms of relationships, if I know the bridge has crumbled due to the other persons actions, then best believe I'm gonna nuke the whole city on the other side.

 

This played out perception that the high road is some good, rewarding thing is really just for the movies. Karma isn't real, it's a belief to justify inaction.

 

You know how to teach people a lesson? Be the damn teacher, and don't fear corporal punishment.

 

I feel that. However, if I were gonna go the route I probably should have already done it. Haven't spoke to her in almost a month. I feel like it wouldn't hold any merit doing it now.

Sugarkane Established Member

Sugarkane

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OP you even said yourself this girl has always had a backup plan and has never not dated anyone. Not a very attractive quality.

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Sugarkane Established Member

Sugarkane

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Interesting I've been blasted on here for saying the same. Everytime I've taken the high road, I've ended up friendless. And everyone takes sides with the cheater/ Ahole, without even asking my side.

In terms of relationships, if I know the bridge has crumbled due to the other persons actions, then best believe I'm gonna nuke the whole city on the other side.

 

This played out perception that the high road is some good, rewarding thing is really just for the movies. Karma isn't real, it's a belief to justify inaction.

 

You know how to teach people a lesson? Be the damn teacher, and don't fear corporal punishment.

  • 2 weeks later...
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nba321 Member

nba321

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Reached out to her to wish her a happy easter and wish her well. Got no response. For all out there wanting/thinking about breaking NC--dont do it, it's not worth it. Lesson learned.

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imnotevengonnatry New Member

imnotevengonnatry

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Reached out to her to wish her a happy easter and wish her well. Got no response. For all out there wanting/thinking about breaking NC--dont do it, it's not worth it. Lesson learned.

 

Dude!

 

You owe that disrespectful woman NOTHING! ZIP! NADA! ZILCH! You don't even owe her a single fart! This woman has never apologized for her actions to you. There's taking the high road where you've decided that you're just not going to stoop to her level by disgracing her name, telling everyone you know about her, confronting her new boyfriends etc. Then there's kissing her behind. You may not feel that you did this, but by initiating contact, it shows her that she still has power over you. That despite all she's done to you, you still wish her happiness. Let her go. She's horrible for you. Life is too short to waste on a cheater. Rarely can they be rehabilitated. I'm begging you for your own good.

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dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

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Dude!

 

You owe that disrespectful woman NOTHING! ZIP! NADA! ZILCH! You don't even owe her a single fart! This woman has never apologized for her actions to you. There's taking the high road where you've decided that you're just not going to stoop to her level by disgracing her name, telling everyone you know about her, confronting her new boyfriends etc. Then there's kissing her behind. You may not feel that you did this, but by initiating contact, it shows her that she still has power over you. That despite all she's done to you, you still wish her happiness. Let her go. She's horrible for you. Life is too short to waste on a cheater. Rarely can they be rehabilitated. I'm begging you for your own good.

 

If you really MUST break NC, grab a jar, stick the fart in there and send it to her.

 

Only do this once.

bubbaganoosh Established Member

bubbaganoosh

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Look. It comes down to this, you got burned. Join the club. Now that you got burned then you learned a lesson.

 

That lesson is this, if she cheated on you and you take her back then in my opinion your taking a hell of a chance and then combine that with that she's out of state so you have to rely on her word and you know that her word is worth squat.

 

So what do you do. You move on and learn to choose a bit more wisely. Sooner or later down the road your going to bump into her. She has to come home and when that happens and you see her, look at her from the neck up rather then from the neck down. All that below the neck is window dressing. All women have that, some more some less but basically the same. When you do see her, you'll be the one that can look her straight in the eye while she has to look down or away because of her behavior. When that day happens, just walk past like she isn't there and let her live in her own bag of lies.

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nba321 Member

nba321

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Dude!

 

You owe that disrespectful woman NOTHING! ZIP! NADA! ZILCH! You don't even owe her a single fart! This woman has never apologized for her actions to you. There's taking the high road where you've decided that you're just not going to stoop to her level by disgracing her name, telling everyone you know about her, confronting her new boyfriends etc. Then there's kissing her behind. You may not feel that you did this, but by initiating contact, it shows her that she still has power over you. That despite all she's done to you, you still wish her happiness. Let her go. She's horrible for you. Life is too short to waste on a cheater. Rarely can they be rehabilitated. I'm begging you for your own good.

 

Nah, I agree with you. It had been like 6 weeks since we last spoke and I was just trying to be cordial/see how it would make me feel reaching out. Definitely don't feel the pain I did back when it initially happened, but I felt a little set-back so I won't be doing that again.

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nba321 Member

nba321

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So the ex finally responded to my broken NC. She thanked me, said she was thinking about me a lot but didn't want to bother me (apparently her reasoning for cutting me out completely and acting like I never existed.) She's still with the new guy I believe so I don't know why she'd be thinking about me a lot especially if they're still in the initial "honeymoon stage". Anyway, I feel as if I have two options here. Obviously the first is not to respond which I feel like the majority of people will tell me to do. Second option would be to gain a little bit of my pride back and tell her she's right and not to bother me, I am happier without her, that she left me for the new guy, and even after I tried to be cordial after the breakup, you still ignored me so lets not ever speak again.

 

I don't want her back at all. I just feel as if she got off the hook VERY easy considering everything she did and want to let her know to basically fu*k off after everything she did to me.

 

What do you guys think?

Edited by nba321
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nba321 Member

nba321

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Just got another response from her begging for me to reply. What is this all about? She asked me to please please please respond. Little confused about all of this.

SearchingForMyself Established Member

SearchingForMyself

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Just got another response from her begging for me to reply. What is this all about? She asked me to please please please respond. Little confused about all of this.

 

If you respond to that selfish chick the whole of LS will brand you as a p*ssy and come after you with extreme prejudice. Unless she's coming to your house and giving you oral, don't give her anything!

SearchingForMyself Established Member

SearchingForMyself

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I've learned three things since losing my ex.

 

1. Being nice is just being human. By itself it is not attractive. Be handsome, funny, confident, and passionate. Make it genuine because women can generally sense when you are faking it.

 

2. No matter what, you will be rejected by some if not most women. Gotta learn to brush it off. I don't even remember the last girl that rejected me. Seems distant right now.

 

3. There is more to life than women. We want them but after seeing some good buddies getting fleeced by their wives...I think I can wait.

 

You can only value what you decide to put value in. That's the difference between Nice Guys and Men.

Lokin4AReason Established Member

Lokin4AReason

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my soon to be ex, did all that was mentioned and more ..

 

 

they use your kindness as a weakness ..

 

 

now, I don't give them a chance for putting up w/ the BS ing

 

 

I have seen to many relationships ( also have been mentioned ) at where it was like a tug battle w/ one another. its not worth it IMO

 

 

give it time, sooner or later, time will tell ( at when that someone will enter you life ). until than enjoy the time that you have to do at what you want =0)

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nba321 Member

nba321

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Yeah I've decided I won't be replying at all, not even to bit*h her out.

 

Thanks.

  • Like 3
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nba321 Member

nba321

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I haven't responded and I don't think I will, but I keep getting more and more tempted to speak my mind and bit*h her out.

 

Why are these "breadcrumbs" so difficult to deal with?

SycamoreCircle Established Member

SycamoreCircle

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Block her number.

 

There is nothing there for you. The sooner you can get this sociopath out of your life, the sooner you can meet someone who is worth your time.

 

In case it hasn't already been suggested, anytime you feel the temptation to respond to her, write it out in LS.

  • Like 2
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nba321 Member

nba321

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Block her number.

 

There is nothing there for you. The sooner you can get this sociopath out of your life, the sooner you can meet someone who is worth your time.

 

In case it hasn't already been suggested, anytime you feel the temptation to respond to her, write it out in LS.

 

Thanks for the advice. She is blocked on FB and I don't use any other social media. I am not giving into the temptation and its fading as the days pass, but it still remains somewhat hard.

 

I feel she is just trying to see if she can get a response out of me to gauge where I am at with everything and I am not going to give her that satisfaction.

Sugarkane Established Member

Sugarkane

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I was in your shoes when I came here. Except mine was older and graduated. I'm sure these people are sociopaths.

Karin2rinkashi Established Member

Karin2rinkashi

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Thanks for the advice. She is blocked on FB and I don't use any other social media. I am not giving into the temptation and its fading as the days pass, but it still remains somewhat hard.

 

I feel she is just trying to see if she can get a response out of me to gauge where I am at with everything and I am not going to give her that satisfaction.

 

**** them, dude! Forget about her...

 

The best way to forget is to immerse yourself in new hobbies. I started gym, and other new things. Took up sketching again!

 

I kept myself so busy these past few months. Can't believe it has been 2 month since that day. Really! Time flies when you are flying....

 

Once you start flying... "It's a WHOLE NEW WORLD"

 

 

Ask Aladdin!

  • 3 weeks later...
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nba321 Member

nba321

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Got another message from the ex today. She said she was warning me that she was going to be home from college tomrrow and wanted to let me know. Haven't spoken to her since she last begged me to reply to her which I didnt. What do you guys make of this/recommend I should do?

 

Thanks

TunaCat Established Member

TunaCat

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Got another message from the ex today. She said she was warning me that she was going to be home from college tomrrow and wanted to let me know. Haven't spoken to her since she last begged me to reply to her which I didnt. What do you guys make of this/recommend I should do?

 

Thanks

 

Do not reply. By replying, it shows her that you still think about her.

 

And really, that was kinda selfish of her to "warn you" She wants to know if you're still on her hook.

 

Ignore the message & delete it.

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