LooperDooper Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 (edited) Broke up with ex about 2 months ago, was a mess for a while but had a huge change of mind and have been feeling great and everything has been super happy for me. I never ever want to get back with my ex and I've been on NC for 3 weeks and they have been 3 very good weeks. Anyways, I was a mess before and decided to let go and let go forever to start moving on and start living my life. Now I have a "problem". I started working out, being more active, smiling all day and I started meeting new people and "networking" to start feeling confident and good again. Now the problem. I've been talking to this girl in my university. I had seen her before and we have some friends in common, and I started talking to her because a couple of years ago she told one of our friends in common she found me cute. So naturally, as part of my goal to meet more people, I started talking to her over whatsapp (this was one week ago). Now I'm in a pickle and not sure how to handle this. The girl is REALLY digging me. Like I can tell. She drops these subtle hints that she likes me a lot to which I try to avoid as best as possible. She is very interested in how I'm dealing with my last relationship, she keeps being very attentive to my exams, my activities, etc. Point is, she is very good to me and not in an intense way. Like if I don't answer her for 5 hours she is okay and all good (I don't like intense girls), but she is just very attentive and talks to me everyday (but yet I don't feel she is intense) which is something that has helped me see beyond my ex as well and talking to her has helped me (indirectly, without her knowing) with all the attention she gives me. Anyways, I wasn't exactly looking for something serious and I think this is what she wants. Don't get me wrong, I love talking to her and I feel like it comes naturally like I don't even have to think about what to ask her because the conversation is flowing always. We are going to go out to dinner soon, which is fine by me as this was what I wanted to meet people and start being more active socially, but I'm kinda nervous about this one. I don't know her enough to say I like her, but yet she talks to me as if we were really good friends telling me problems she has and everything. I like that after feeling so down somebody shows you there are other girls and probably better for you than my ex, but I'm not sure I want to jump into a relationship just like that. She hasn't said anything about "us" yet, but I feel like it's going to happen soon. She sends me pictures of her (selfies) every now and then, etc etc. Now I don't know how long she's been crushing on me or anything, but it seems too fast and maybe too good to be true? I guess I need some direction, I've never been one to make a good impression so this hasn't happened. All my previous relationships have been slowly building up attraction and feelings. Any help? Advice? Thoughts? Maybe I'm overthinking and I should just continue to enjoy being with her? Edited March 24, 2015 by LooperDooper
fitnessfan365 Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 "She talks to me like we're really good friends". That's your answer. Women don't tend to treat men they want to sleep with like therapists. If you want to put yourself out there and take a shot, feel free. But just don't be too surprised when you get the 'I don't see you that way' speech.
h0000 Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 "All my previous relationships have been slowly building up attraction and feelings." you mean there would be few to none attraction at the beginning? I thought you gotta have to have enough attraction to keep it going in the beginning.much more than "i dont mind seeing her" it should be "i want to see her". I didnt see any of that in your thread about her...
Author LooperDooper Posted March 24, 2015 Author Posted March 24, 2015 fitnessfan365: I agree with you, but she talks to me as if we knew each other for a long time and tries to be supportive like maybe a gf would be. I'm not saying your point of view isn't possible, but she seems a lot more interested than just being really good friends from my point of view. h0000: Obviously there is some level of attraction or else we wouldn't be talking. In my past there was always physical attraction doesn't mean the emotional attraction was just as strong there, that's what gets built over time. It might be hard to explain this here, but the way she talks to me I've only felt it when I've talked to other girls who want something serious. Do I find her pretty? Very. Does she find me good looking? She's made it clear a few times. And now I think she's becoming attracted to my personality very fast and I'm just looking for help on how to approach the situation.Yes I am interested in getting to know her and seeing where it takes us, but I'm not jumping out of bed with happiness to do so because I'm also staying back a little since I'm recently broken up and don't want it to be too fast for it to potentially mess up if I haven't recovered completely.
h0000 Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 fitnessfan365: I agree with you, but she talks to me as if we knew each other for a long time and tries to be supportive like maybe a gf would be. I'm not saying your point of view isn't possible, but she seems a lot more interested than just being really good friends from my point of view. h0000: Obviously there is some level of attraction or else we wouldn't be talking. In my past there was always physical attraction doesn't mean the emotional attraction was just as strong there, that's what gets built over time. It might be hard to explain this here, but the way she talks to me I've only felt it when I've talked to other girls who want something serious. Do I find her pretty? Very. Does she find me good looking? She's made it clear a few times. And now I think she's becoming attracted to my personality very fast and I'm just looking for help on how to approach the situation.Yes I am interested in getting to know her and seeing where it takes us, but I'm not jumping out of bed with happiness to do so because I'm also staying back a little since I'm recently broken up and don't want it to be too fast for it to potentially mess up if I haven't recovered completely. i'd say just go with the flow. you whatever you feel like doing with her and if she brings up some relationship thingy, tell her you like her enough but not ready to start anything serious. seems pretty simple for me
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