Manprobs123 Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 I have been texting with a guy for 4 months or so. We haven't met yet and some of it is my fault I'll admit. I dated someone here and kinda quit talking so much to the guy. I broke up with the other guy and started talking to *steve again. He's 24...im 29. He lives 3 hours away and we both enjoy conversation and agree it's so strange to have such a strong connection with someone you've never met. He's in med school so he's very busy always saying he's stressed with school. I have recently been pushing more to see him. He only really says he wants to come see me and when he has liquid courage he has almost headed up here a week ago. But it still hasn't happened. I decided instead of waiting and growing more attached I would tell him it needs to happen soon or I can't continue doing this. We FaceTime and all his social media checks out so he's not lying about who he is appearance wise. He does say he is nervous to meet me because he doesn't want to travel this far and me not like him. I told him I don't think that Will be the case. He has even slipped and said I love you. I don't thijk I guy that had no intentions of ever meeting would say that. He also has said his intentions with me are to meet me and then if we click in real life, he wants to be more serious with me. So how much longer should I give this? He says he absolutely promises he will get down here soon he's just looking for a weekend to do it.
d0nnivain Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 Until you meet this is all an elaborate fantasy. I would run screaming from someone who told me that they loved me after 4 months of only electronic contact with no actual in person meeting. It doesn't ring true. 3 hours apart isn't that far. Two of my college sorority sisters are married to doctors. When the guys were in med school, they were still around every few months even though their med schools were more than 4 hours away from our college. I'd often go with the girls to visit their BFs; they do have some free time & are not studying constantly. Something doesn't add up. 2
PegNosePete Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 If he wanted to meet you and have a relationship, then he would have by now. Time to move on. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 Four months of texting isn't a strong connection. It's passing the time when you're bored. It would be one thing if you'd been keeping in touch by phone and had a chance to test out your actual personalities interacting. If you actually click on the phone, then there is a chance you might actually get along in person. But texting is an illusion. Plus, he's three hours away. Why not just continue to focus on/meet men in your area that you can spend time with?
Author Manprobs123 Posted March 24, 2015 Author Posted March 24, 2015 hey everyone.. more info .. we have talked on the phone, facetimed, etc. and I have said I want him to come here first because he knows I am weary about meeting people. Once he comes here, I can travel up there more often to see him. And yes I get that texting isn't a relationship... men in my area suck. And I seem to know everyone. everyone knows everyone in my city.
d0nnivain Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 hey everyone.. more info .. we have talked on the phone, facetimed, etc. and I have said I want him to come here first because he knows I am weary about meeting people. Once he comes here, I can travel up there more often to see him. And yes I get that texting isn't a relationship... men in my area suck. And I seem to know everyone. everyone knows everyone in my city. So some of this is driven my your unwillingness to move it into real life. I'm still focused on the "I love you" that was way out of line & makes me question his judgment, since he's the one who said it. It also makes me worry about you, since you seem to believe it.
paigej91 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 Forget what some people are saying. Real connections can develop online. With that said, this situation will never move forward if it doesn't transfer to in-person at some point. You guys will very likely click in person, I have almost no doubt about that. I know it sounds silly to think about so early on, but if there isn't any chance of either of you relocating at some point then it's doomed from the beginning and to avoid getting hurt you might want to stop contact. Have him come meet you. It will be a great test to see if he's really serious about exploring this. Take it one step at a time, but make sure you're also still dating locally and not closing off other options.
Author Manprobs123 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 haha thanks Paige.. I am more of an optimist myself...my friends all say the same things the others are saying on here. lol I am going to date other people for sure until he makes a trip here. Then I can better assess the situation after. Who knows, maybe he will be a dork, or I wont be attracted to him.. I have changed his name in my phone to "wait 3 days to reply" because he definitely needs to step his game up... the I love you thing.. he was drinking and right after said sorry that was wayyyy too soon. so I really just thought it was funny and kind of cute. I like him so it does not scare me!
fred123 Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 don't worry i liked someone online i had never met too. it happens. i understand you. just be careful thats all i say
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