I've really liked my relationship so far but my bf's doubt threw me off, overreactig?

[magicjelly1234]

Things have been great for a year with this caring boyfriend until i realized that he told me while he really values our relationship, his immature side of him still wonders how it would be to have a girlfriend who he started with instant sparks and become gf and bf (we started off as friends - hooking up- couple) but he also says his mature side tells him what's most important is the connection and compatibility which he thinks what makes our relationship strong. He didn't say it to cause any trouble, but we were talking about our future and this was brought up and of course i probed him a little.

 

He's 30 and very inexperienced with relationships. Tend to overthink things and always exited when he had doubts, so this relationship with me is his first serious - committed one and he's very caring and kind but he told me this recently.

 

Is this a red flag? i dont wanna wake up one day to realize that he thinks that i'm not the one and i've wasted my time with him (i'm 28). but i get sad thinking about breaking up and he cries if we even talk about possible break up scenario and he wants to me with me. But that doubt that he told me reallly really but really bothers me. Ive been patient with him since he's not really experienced but part of me wants a mature guy who doesn't make me wonder about things.

 

any thoguths?

[Mi7522]

If you're having doubts about him and it's constantly in the back of your mind that he may leave then either you sit him down, communicate your concerns and try to work it out together or you pull the plug on the relationship

[Eaglestar83]

It all boils down to what you want. If you happy in having a boyfriend and won't be too bothered if it does not work out, I.e marriage etc. then continue as it is. If however, you want to settle down etc, then yes, what your bf told you is a major red flag that you need to note down and get to the bottom of sooner rather than later. You need to asses if this guy's curiosity about exploring other relationships would eventually override his mature side.

I think you need to take more charge in this relationship. If you have been dating for over a year, and you want to settle down, then have a serious talk with him as to where things are going. You don't want to date him for another year, just to suddenly start arguing and fighting out of frustration as it seems you two want different things and he does not seem ready for commitment