Navajo46 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I had sort of an epiphany today. You can read my previous thread about missing my ex the other day. Long and short she is 27 and a fully functioning alcoholic. She has crazy mood swings but can be sweet. She is the type of girl that absolutely cannot be alone and moves from one guy to the next and generally moves them into her place very quickly. I was one of her only actual relationships but all she wanted to do was drink and party. One of the problems I knew that affected her was that I could not see her every single day. We mutually broke up but I began to miss her. Now, I am having my ups and downs but feel much better today. She moved on within a few weeks to a guy who has a DUI, younger (I am ten years older), has no car and a job but not a career that lives very close to her, ok looking. He is a definite downgrade from me. I am a pretty good looking guy, make a lot of money, own businesses cars boats etc. But more importantly I am a very decent human being. She always used to comment on how thoughtful I was, but in the end she couldn't control me because I am too strong willed. I used to tell her she was beautiful all the time and tell her how smart she was and she would constantly tell me nobody has ever said that. I just finally realized today that her new relationship will actually probably work out because it's everything that she needs. He is a serious drinker and since she does shots of vodka all night that's a bonus for her. He has a DUI so she has to drive him around which makes her feel needed and also he cannot leave without her taking him. She has all the power here where with me she didn't have any. She did just jump back into something like she always does because she cannot be alone and now has a guy with little ambition that has to be there all the time. To me, she will never think about me again even though I am better. She feels more like she is in a relationship because she needs someone there 24/7. I would be lying if I said I still didn't miss her and have a very very tiny piece of me to come crawling back which I think is human nature but knowing that it will never happen makes it easier on me. I looked on my netflix account today and saw her and her new guy have been using it so I changed the password, they are not watching movies and banging on my dime... Lol. Now I just need to keep coping but knowing that she downgraded and she will never come back made me feel better. Any opinions??
seminoles84 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 haha mine downgraded too.. It does help. Actually was at the bar last night where her new bf is the cook and he was on his knees in a wife beater cleaning the floors. It gave me a good chuckle. Keep up the progress OP! 1
AIJ Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 If they're happier with that person than they were with you, did they really downgrade? That's all I'm saying.. 2
Author Navajo46 Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 (edited) That's very true too! I just know that she has done exactly this a few times and it has ended in flames because she realized finally she was seeing a loser. But if she gets what she wants and he is a sweet guy to her then it will work.. But you are right if she is happy then that's all that matters. Edited March 23, 2015 by Navajo46
mightycpa Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 I don't know... the last time I saw the girl who broke my heart, she looked like she was in love with ****ing Santa Claus! I hated that ****! If I was going to be replaced by somebody, I wanted it to be an Adonis! 2
SethDamien Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 haha mine downgraded too.. It does help. Actually was at the bar last night where her new bf is the cook and he was on his knees in a wife beater cleaning the floors. It gave me a good chuckle. Keep up the progress OP! You cant judge a man's character by his job you know. He may have a better personality that you.
mightycpa Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 You cant judge a man's character by his job you know. He may have a better personality that you.No, but you can get a pretty good feel about his capabilities and aspirations. That alone will tell you that the poor (and I do mean poor) bastard is going to meet an end similar to yours. That's precisely why it wouldn't help me to see that.
seminoles84 Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 You cant judge a man's character by his job you know. He may have a better personality that you. I know him more than just from what he does for his job. Let's just say it's pretty fitting.
Author Navajo46 Posted March 24, 2015 Author Posted March 24, 2015 And I feel like absolute **** today. Ups and downs, I can't stand it. This is what I mean... I sit hear and know the girl is absolutely no good for me and I have days like this I don't feel like getting out of bed.
irresolute Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 aren't you giving too much attention to your ex and her new boyfriend? Who cares if she downgraded, the truth is she doesn't want to be with you anymore. Continue with your healing.
Author Navajo46 Posted March 24, 2015 Author Posted March 24, 2015 I agree with you. Guess trying to make justifications to make myself feel better and the pain has not gone away yet.
Lorelai Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 Yes, it made me feel tons better when I learned the guy I had been living with for nearly five years downgraded to a woman with huge heaping cartloads of crazy. Every time I think of him, I can't help but remember the advert she put up about her webcam shows in clown makeup. I giggle lots. 1
SethDamien Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 I know him more than just from what he does for his job. Let's just say it's pretty fitting. Then more power to you! I also knew the guy my ex was dating. She downgraded with a cartoon. He looks more like the stick version of the Easter Island heads. He was also a loser with a disgusting attitude.
Price2Play Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 And I feel like absolute **** today. Ups and downs, I can't stand it. This is what I mean... I sit hear and know the girl is absolutely no good for me and I have days like this I don't feel like getting out of bed. Stay strong man, get back into hobbies, working out, friends & family, taking care of yourself. I'm in the same boat as you, your ex and my ex could be bff's. She did you a favor, screen better next time! NO MORE functioning alcoholics! Learn from this situation, did you know you where in a rebound relationship? Look for the tell tail signs moving foward! Onward brother you are on the right path.
Sugarkane Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 She needed an enabler who wouldnt challenge her alcoholism. Onwards and upwards.
Phoe Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 My exes upgraded. It definitely is rough... But, I moved on and put little thought into it over time. That's for the best.
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