sharp9 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I've been chatting with this girl on POF since last Wednesday with a total of about 30 messages between us. I asked her out the first day but she said she would like to keep chatting and that she was new to online dating and she says that she is just nervous about it. We've had good conversation, but I'm curious at what point do I just quit the conversation. I generally ask girls out after about 5-10 messages and see them for coffee or a drink within the week. I understand this girl is new to online dating but I don't want to be her penpal, I want to go out with her. After all it's called online dating not online penpals.
d0nnivain Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 If she's new to OLD I can understand that she's nervous. It's weird at 1st to go meet a stranger off the internet. Get her to allow you to "graduate" to a phone call. During the phone call, ask her out again. Pick a meeting place that is well lit & safe. Tell her that is why you are picking it. Assure her that you want to meet her but you also want her to feel comfortable. Ask her if she has a place where she's well known that you could take her to so she feels the safest. If after a total of 10 days you can't get her to agree to meet you in person move on. The only reason I am giving it soooo long is because she's new to OLD. 3
fitnessfan365 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Been trying this approach somewhat recently and it's worked well after a few emails: "It's been great getting to know you so far. But now I'd like to hear your voice and actually talk to you. So let's do our next email exchange over the phone. What's your number and a good day to talk?" Since it's just "chatting" a woman feels more comfortable giving out her number. Plus, it gives me an out. If I don't like the call, I can just say nice chatting and hang up. If I enjoy the call, I can bring up getting together and she feels comfortable because she's talked on the phone. But overall, 30 emails a piece is WAY TOO MANY. If a woman is genuine about wanting to meet in person, she'll want to start the process sooner than later. If she wants to just find a pen pal, she'll keep wanting to trade endless emails. 4
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